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STOP SUFFERING AND START LIVING By Greg Smith, PhD www.gregsmith.co.za.

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Presentation on theme: "STOP SUFFERING AND START LIVING By Greg Smith, PhD www.gregsmith.co.za."— Presentation transcript:

1 STOP SUFFERING AND START LIVING By Greg Smith, PhD www.gregsmith.co.za

2 Suffering is… “The state of undergoing pain, distress or hardship” Oxford Dictionary

3 “When suffering knocks at your door and you say there is no seat for him, he tells you not to worry because he has brought his own stool.” Prof. Chinua Achebe

4 “Life is suffering” Prince Gautama Siddharta, Founder of Buddhism “Jesus wept” John 11:35, Bible “Sometimes pain teaches what pleasure cannot” Quran “It was only through suffering that the children of Israel obtained three priceless and coveted gifts…” Talmud

5 “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” Kahlil Gibran

6 Despair = Suffering without meaning

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8 So… Life IS suffering Life is impermanent We create MORE suffering by trying to avoid suffering We avoid suffering through cravings or aversion We CAN overcome this…

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12 BEACH BALL

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15 STRESS / SUFFERING CONSISTS OF… 1.The stressor, i.e., the changes or demands 2.How this stressor is perceived (not the event!) 3.The actual stress response in the body or mind

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17 ABC THEORY ACTIVATING EVENT BELIEFCONSEQUENCES DISPUTE D NEW OUTCOME

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21 “We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are” Anais Nin

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26 Survive vs Thrive Negative emotions (fear, anger, despair) help us SURVIVE Positive emotions (curiosity, delight, interest, joy, etc) let us THRIVE

27 THE SWAMP

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33 FLY-FISHING

34 SHIPWRECKED METAPHOR

35 Recontextualising the Problem DepressedUnmotivatedUnemployedIndecisiveOverweightUnloveable Need therapy! What I want my life to stand for DepressedUnmotivatedUnemployedIndecisiveOverweightUnloveable Need therapy! The life I’m left with

36 “I think that...” “I’m having the thought that...” “I notice I’m having the thought that...” This is unbearable I notice those thoughts are there again

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38 HELPFUL ATTITUDES Non-judging Patience Beginners Mind Trust Non-striving Acceptance Letting go

39 WORLD I / YOU BODY MIND Suffering 5 SENSES

40 CHESSBOARD

41 BEHAVIOUR TOWARDSAWAY SUFFERING VALUES MIND 5 SENSES AUTOPILOT PAST FUTURE NOW / PRESENT ANXIETY DEPRESSION ? Spirituality Intimate Rels Family Rels Social Rels Leisure Career Health Alcohol Temper Drugs Smoking Shouting Withdrawal I / ME

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