1. Feeling Better by Examining and Changing Your Thoughts With Mindfulness Awareness & Kindness

2. Wisdom Through the Ages We are upset not by things, but the view we take of them. Epictetus (Pre-Socratic Greek) There is nothing either good nor bad but thinking makes it so. Shakespere (Hamlet) We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. Buddha

3. Thoughts Shape Emotions & Moods

4. The way we look at things, our perceptions, mental attitudes & beliefs shape how we feel moment to moment The stories we tell ourselves The way we talk to ourselves The way we interpret things Sets up how we feel in the next moment and beyond

5. Negative emotions usually come from distorted thoughts

6. Sometimes our thoughts are irrational, inaccurate, or exaggerated Primitive, archaic forms of thinking left over from childhood developmental process Although our thoughts may appear convincing and seem valid, they may not be. We often believe our thoughts out of habit –Distortions often unconscious and repetitive Emotional turmoil and moodiness is not based on accurate perceptions of reality but distortions

7. You can change your mind

8. You can change the way you think and look at things You can change your underlying beliefs and thought patterns These will change how you see your self, your life, others, the world This will change how you feel, emotions, moods, outlook, attitude and productivity

9. STEP 1 Mindful of Distressing Thoughts STEP 2 Awareness and Inquiry STEP 3 Kind & Rational Response

10. Mindful of Distressing Thoughts It’s no use! I don’t have the strength to get through this. Awareness and Inquiry Kind & Rational Response

11. Mindful of Distressing Thoughts It’s no use! Idon’t have the strength to get through this. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response

12. Mindful of Distressing Thoughts It’s no use! I don’t have the strength to get through this. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response Who says you always have to be strong. Sometimes to cry and fall apart is the best thing to do. Then it seems I find an inner strength or higher power.

13. Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I don’t understand what my Doctor is saying. I feel scared, confused and stupid. Awareness and Inquiry Kind & Rational Response

14. Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I don’t understand what my Doctor is saying. I feel scared, confused and stupid. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response

15. Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I don’t understand what my Doctor is saying. I feel scared, confused and stupid. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response I’m not stupid. I can do something -ask for a clearer explanation. I am confused now but I am learning to accept feelings and comfort myself.

16. Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I’m the one that always takes care of others. I can’t bear needing their help. I’ll handle this myself. Awareness and Inquiry Kind &Rational Response

17. Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I’m the one that always takes care of others. I can’t bear needing their help. I’ll handle this myself. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind &Rational Response

18. Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I’m the one that always takes care of others. I can’t bear needing their help. I’ll handle this myself. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind &Rational Response It is scary but maybe now it is my time to receive and be open to the love & compassion of friends and family. (Spiritual lesson, a circle of giving and receiving)

19. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts Waiting for results from the last set of tests is killing me. Awareness and Inquiry Kind & Rational Response

20. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts Waiting for results from the last set of tests is killing me. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response

21. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts Waiting for results from the last set of tests is killing me. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response I can learn to have patience and stay in the moment, not projecting a negative outcome. Learning to work with my mind is helping.

22. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts They say you are supposed to stay positive but I feel awful, angry, helpless, filled with despair, I’m afraid I am making it worse Awareness and Inquiry Kind &Rational Response

23. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts They say you are supposed to stay positive but I feel awful, angry, helpless, filled with despair, I’m afraid I am making it worse Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind &Rational Response

24. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts They say you are supposed to stay positive but I feel awful, angry, helpless, filled with despair, I’m afraid I am making it worse Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind &Rational Response It’s natural to have strong and negative feelings. I am learning to comfort myself and ask for reassurance from others. I can work with my state of mind and that helps.

25. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts The doctors don’t know what the hell they’re doing! Awareness and Inquiry Kind & Rational Response

26. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts The doctors don’t know what the hell they’re doing! Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response

27. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts The doctors don’t know what the hell they’re doing! Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response They are doing the best they can with medical science. I’m not a statistic, I can always do better than expected.

28. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts I hate feeling weak and helpless. I don’t want everyone feeling sorry for me. Awareness and Inquiry Kind & Rational Response

29. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts I hate feeling weak and helpless. Don’t want everyone feeling sorry for me. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response

30. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts I hate feeling weak and helpless. Don’t want everyone feeling sorry for me. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response I do like how kind and gentle my spouse/friend has become. The people who reach out are so kind and generous, it’s a privilege to receive the gift of their good will and love.

31. Family Member Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I have to be the strong one. Can’t let him/ her know how I really feel. If I fall apart, that will make it worse for him/ her. Awareness and Inquiry Kind & Rational Response

32. Family Member Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I have to be the strong one. Can’t let him/ her know how I really feel. If I fall apart, that will make it worse for him/ her. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response

33. Family Member Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I have to be the strong one. Can’t let him/ her know how I really feel. If I fall apart, that will make it worse for him/ her. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response It’s best to be honest with each other about feelings. Creates more intimacy, and is truly supportive. If I fall apart how do I know it will make her/him feel worse. Maybe consoling me will make her/him feel better.

34. Mindful of Distressing Thought I’m doing every thing I can to support my ___. But it never seems enough to make a difference. I feel like a failure. Awareness and Inquiry Kind & Rational Response

35. Mindful of Distressing Thought I’m doing every thing I can to support my ___. But it never seems enough to make a difference. I feel like a failure. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response

36. Mindful of Distressing Thought I’m doing every thing I can to support my ___. But it never seems enough to make a difference. I feel like a failure. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response I’m not a failure, my support means so much to my ____. My love does make a difference. Whatever the outcome, we are both growing emotionally, spiritually.

37. Caregiver Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I feel so guilty to be worried about myself…. when he/she is the one with cancer, and suffering so much. Awareness and Inquiry Kind & Rational Response

38. Caregiver Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I feel so guilty to be worried about myself…. when he/she is the one with cancer, and suffering so much. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response

39. Caregiver Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I feel so guilty to be worried about myself…. when he/she is the one with cancer, and suffering so much. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response Feeling guilty doesn’t help any- one. I worry and suffer too, need to accept that, not be so hard on myself. If I can be real with him/ her, our relation- ship is genuine.

40. Family Member Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I hate this cancer, its ruining our lives and all the things we do together. Awareness and Inquiry Kind & Rational Response

41. Family Member Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I hate this cancer, its ruining our lives and all the things we do together. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response

42. Family Member Mindful of Distressing Thoughts I hate this cancer, its ruining our lives and all the things we do together. Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response Anger, rage, hate only make me feel worse and adds to stress for whole family.With accept- ance I can enjoy time we do have. We may not be as active, but time together is very precious.

43. YOUR TURN

44. Mindful of Distressing Thoughts Awareness and Inquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking? 2. How does my body feel? 3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response

45. Caregiver Mindful of Automatic Thoughts I should be doing more. I should have done this instead of that. I feel so guilty. Awareness 1. What emotions follows from this way of thinking? 2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 3. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind & Rational Response I do a lot and need to acknowledge it, rather than “should” myself. I am only human and need to love myself for what I am able to do.

46. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts I am so afraid of making the wrong decision. Options are bad or worse. Yet I also hate giving up control to the med system Awareness 1. What emotions follows from this way of thinking? 2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 3. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind &Rational Response It is hard to choose treatments but my doc has explained things and meeting with other survivors has given me hope and understanding. I can also pray for guidance.

47. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts My health is the most important thing. Without that I am miserable. This whole experience is overwhelming I can’t take it. Awareness 1. What emotions follows from this way of thinking? 2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 3. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind &Rational Response I am taking it and learning a lot about myself. If I take it one day at a time I feel OK. When I change my perspective I feel so much better.

48. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts I did everything right. Diet, exercise, low stress. Why did I get cancer? Awareness 1. What emotion follows from this way of thinking? 2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 3. Is it exagerated or irrational? Kind & Rational Response Sometimes things are beyond our control. Multiple factors cause cancer. Important thing now…do everything to look after myself, make the most of each moment of this precious life.

49. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts How will my children and spouse cope without me. It will ruin their lives. I feel guilty for abandoning them now, let alone if I die. Awareness 1. What emotions follows from this way of thinking? 2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 3. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind &Rational Response My guilt is not helping anyone. I have done my best to ensure that the children have a good upbringing. That foundation will serve them well. The time I have is precious, death is part of the journey for us all.

50. Mindful of Automatic Thoughts Sometimes I am so angry with my spouse for hiding in denial while I cope with this alone. It seems there is nothing I can do but steam. Awareness 1. What emotions follows from this way of thinking? 2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 3. Exaggerated, irrational? Kind &Rational Response I can’t control the reaction of my spouse. I can work with my own thoughts and feelings and learn to ask for what I want directly. If I do, that changes the relationship and that will benefit us both.

51. Mindful, Aware, Kind & Rational 3 Steps 1.Mindful of automatic thoughts. Notice them, don’t hide them. Write them down. 2.Aware! Ask self, what emotion follows this thought? Is this a helpful or harmful thought? Is it Exaggerated, Irrational? 3.Replace with a kind and rational response. Here you can also reach for spiritual wisdom.