1. Chapter 17 Emotional and Social Development from 7 to 12

2. Chapter Objectives Identify 4 ways to help ease emotional upsets Explain how children control and express their anger in socially acceptable ways List 6 ways to help a child develop a sense of competence Summarize the 4 main qualities children look for in friendships Identify typical changes that occur in children’s attitudes toward their parents Describe 5 ways to help children prepare to make good moral choices

3. Chapter 17.1 Emotional Development from 7 to 12

4. Emotional Changes There is nothing unusual about going through an emotional shift or change ◦Children at this age can feel as if they are on an emotional rollercoaster Children between the ages of 7 and 12 will generally progress from negative to positive or unhappy to happy Gain independence and self-confidence

5. Emotional Changes 7 and 8 Year Olds9 and 10 Year Olds 7-year olds are typically: ◦Withdrawn ◦Stay close to home ◦Worry a lot ◦May not want to talk about their feelings 8-year olds are: ◦More positive ◦Explore and are curious ◦Enjoy time with friends ◦Dramatic ◦Active 9-year olds are: ◦Self-absorbed ◦Harsh about their own failings and even embarrassed ◦Can keep feelings hidden 10-year olds are: ◦More positive and happy ◦Growing sense of self and increased feelings of competence ◦More time with friends ◦Make new friends by joining sports teams or clubs

6. The Preteen Years Read the 2 paragraphs on the screen Summarize the section in 1 sentence Get in groups of 2 and discuss what should be the appropriate summarizing sentence Share with the class Write down summarizing sentence HERE in your notes

7. Living with Children 7 to 12 Hormones released into the body during puberty can cause emotional changes Preteens may start feeling the mood swings that are associated with teenagers Tips to keep minor emotional upsets from becoming major problems: ◦Be patient ◦Avoid taking it personally ◦Help the child maintain self-control ◦Listen attentively

8. Specific Emotions AngerFear and Worry When anger is shown during this stage, it usually passes quickly Preteens are moody Most outbursts have little to do with the cause of the outburst By age 7, children should know how to express anger in social situations ◦Not lash out with violence or words that hurt others ◦Seek compromises to settle disagreements By age 10, most fears from early childhood have disappeared New worries form ◦News reports about terrorism, fatal car accidents, natural disasters ◦How others see them

9. Specific Emotions AnxietyASSINGMENT Anxiety is a state of uncertainty and fear, often about an unspecified but seemingly immediate threat Excessive anxiety can be a sign of an anxiety disorder Preteens or teens with an anxiety disorder can develop can develop constant physical symptoms Research one anxiety disorder to learn how it affects children and how it can be treated. Type findings out and share in class.

10. Specific Emotions Envy and Jealousy As older children become more aware of the world around them, they are apt to develop feelings of envy and jealousy Envy is the feeling of wanting something another person has Jealousy is a complex emotion involving the fear that a loved one might ◦For example, a preteen that is trying to feel comfortable talking to the opposite sex, might feel jealous of a peer who seems to be more at ease

11. A Sense of Self Sense of self is your idea of who you are, based on your emotions, personality, and the ways you perceive the world As children develop, they are able to think in more abstract terms Children between the ages of 7 and 10 recognize they have a personality all their own ◦See themselves as a mixture of qualities  Physical appearance, talents, or abilities They see they behave different in certain situations

12. Sense of Competence Sense of competence is the feeling that one can be successful and meet most challenges ◦Children gain this feeling by acquiring and improving a wide range of skills Erikson believed that as children refined their skills, they’ll see themselves as competent and increase their self- esteem ◦How a child sees themselves can affect what choices they make in life ◦He also believed those that constantly experience failure begin to see themselves as inferior and incompetent Sound relationship with peers is important in developing competence Ways to help a child foster sense of competence: ◦Help focus on their strengths ◦Provide opportunities ◦Encourage learning ◦Establish reachable goals ◦Recognize success ◦Focus on the positive

13. Sense of Gender An important part of a child’s growing sense of self is gender identity ◦Gender identity is the awareness of being male or female Complex process that begins in early childhood and usually fixed by age 4 ◦Gender identity begins at birth Identity becomes stronger in middle childhood and early adolescence ◦Choose to spend time with the same sex, talk and look like the same sex, interact with adults of the same sex as role models and begin to explore relationships with the opposite sex Many influences on gender identity include: ◦Family, other adults, peers, and media Children observe the behavior of people around them ◦Shows how one should act and react to things that fit their gender

14. Chapter 17.2 Social and Moral Development from 7 to 12

15. Discussion Starter What is Moral Behavior? What are some morals that you have?

16. Relationship with Peers 7 to 12 year olds have a sense of self ◦They are able to form more personal friendships ◦Children develop qualities they look for in friends:  Loyalty  Trustworthiness  Kindness and understanding  Fun Children begin to spend more time talking with friends than just playing Intellectual growth makes deeper friendships possible ◦Abstract thinking ◦Understand how others see them ◦See other’s point-of-view ◦Increase in empathy Physical and emotional changes of puberty also play a key role in friendship ◦Curiosity about the changes they are going through ◦Figuring out how new aspects of relationships with people of the opposite sex

17. Peer Groups Acceptance by peers is closely related to high self-esteem ◦More confident ◦More likely to make and keep friends ◦More likely to succeed at school Feelings of rejection by peers may negatively affect performance at school and family relationships Peer groups are numerous at this age ◦Classmates ◦Sport teammates ◦Children who live in the same neighborhood Children who experience rejection by their peers may need professional counseling to prevent lifelong difficulties

18. Making Friends One reason preteens avoid opposite-gender friendships is that such friendships raise questions of being romantically involved ◦Most 11 and 12 year olds are not ready to take that step so they avoid the situation to avoid teasing Number of friends at this stage varies ◦Some children “collect” friends as a way to ensure popularity Another influence is the social environment ◦Children in after-school programs have more opportunities for making friends

19. Resolving Conflicts The nature of friendship changes as children grow ◦So does the nature of conflicts Many conflicts among children arise from envy, jealousy, or gossip Other conflicts may be based on emotional needs ◦The need to belong is so strong ◦Conflicts arise if they feel excluded from a group or they think someone is showing them disrespect

20. Avoiding Violence In general, children at this age use their words to express anger ◦Those are children that received help to deal with anger in having self-control Preteen boys are more likely than girls to use aggressive behavior to express anger Guidelines to help resolve conflict and avoid violence: ◦Set ground rules ◦Listen to both sides ◦Find common ground ◦Reach a solution that is acceptable to both sides

21. What current topic is being portrayed in a movie and discussed on the news right now? Bullying

22. Bullying Bullying means directing aggression or abuse toward another person Takes many forms ◦Pushing, shoving or other physical abuse ◦Teasing ◦Spreading rumors ◦Making offensive comments Boys are more likely to be bullies and be the victim of bullies Causes physical and emotional pain for victims ◦Most children do not ask for help from an adult ◦Fear being bullied more for “tattling”

23. How to suspect a child being bullied Comes home with cuts, bruises, or torn clothing Frequently loses lunch money or other valuables Does not want to go to school Becomes unusually moody, withdrawn, and bad tempered Is always anxious and has trouble sleeping If you suspect a child is being bullied, ask them in a supportive way ◦“What is your favorite activity at school?” and then ask “what is your least favorite?” A child who is being bullied needs to be reassured it is not their fault

24. Family Relationships More changes among family dynamics during this stage ◦Complex relationships between parents and siblings are formed Family situations vary greatly ◦1 or 2 parent household ◦Main caregiver is someone else than a parent ◦How much the parents work outside the home ◦How many and the age of siblings

25. Family Relationships ParentsSiblings 7 Year Olds ◦Depend on parents, but challenge authority 8 Year Olds ◦Tend to cling to parents 9 Year Olds ◦Wrapped up in their own thoughts and sometimes ignore parents 10 Year Olds ◦Smooth year  Happier and communicate better 11 and 12 Year Olds ◦More independent from parents ◦Critical of parents values ◦Challenge parents Often have difficult relationships with siblings who are closer to their own age ◦Judge each other more ◦Conflicts are common

26. Moral Development- Guidance Parents, older adults, and older siblings can help prepare children to make the right moral choices in a number of ways: ◦Set a good example ◦Support the child’s growing conscience ◦Talk about how to handle situations that might occur ◦Reinforce empathy ◦Use the child’s sense of fairness

27. Moral Development- Peer Pressure Peer pressure is a social group’s influence on the way individuals behave ◦The desire to be accepted leads preteens to adopt the words, behaviors, habits, and ideas of others in their social group Conformity means being like one another ◦They may dress alike, adopt similar hairstyles, find other ways to show they belong Good or bad influence ◦Positive values are more likely to avoid drugs, alcohol, and other risky behaviors

28. Assignment Imagine that the preteen you mentor has asked for your help. He wants to know how he can use positive peer pressure to his advantage and resist negative peer pressure. Write a letter to him with your answer.