Effective Business Writing

Effective Business Writing

Course Objectives Review the writing process.
Assess common grammar and style problem areas. Enable student to write more efficiently and powerfully. Review the effective use of and PowerPoint. 2

Table of Contents Topic Page Module 1: Class Overview and Introduction
5 Module 2: Prepare to Write 8 Module 3.1: Compose Your Document 23 Module 3.2: Compose Your Document - Mechanics 32 Module 3.3: Compose Your Document - Wordiness 61 Module 3.4: Compose Your Document - Tools 73 Module 4: Communicate Effectively 85 3

Reflection Questions What issues do you find with others’ writing?
What concerns do you have with your own writing? What are troubles you have when writing? How does business writing differ from academic writing? Your writing is a reflection on you and Leeds. Judgments are often made about you and Leeds based on your written communication. It is important to make a good impression every time. Common issues: Repetition/Redundancy Lengthy messages with no content Poor structure Consistency Precision Grammar Clarity Discuss each question with the group. Make a connection between participants’ concerns with own writing and their issues with others’ writing. 4

The Writing Process Prepare to Write Compose Your Document
Plan Your Document Generate Ideas Organize Your Information Compose Your Document Draft Revise Refine The writing process is a basic plan any writer should follow when composing a document, whether it be a report, , presentation, or literary work. Following these steps helps ensure a well-planned, well-organized document. The appropriate information will be included and irrelevant information excluded. 5

PREPARE TO WRITE PLAN YOUR DOCUMENT GENERATE IDEAS
ORGANIZE YOUR INFORMATION The Writing Process Preparation is important for every document you write. Good preparation helps avoid: Ineffective sequence Omitted data Redundant information Irrelevant material PREPARE TO WRITE 6

Plan Your Document Message Audience Purpose
Remember: Plan your document by reviewing your MAP! Like any road trip, your map is what guides you and keeps you on course. 7

Message What is the main topic to convey in your document?
Focus on one main topic. What is the level of detail needed to communicate this topic? This will help determine the format and program you will use. Program=Word, Excel, PowerPoint, etc. 8

Understand Your Audience
What does the audience already know about the topic? How does the audience feel about the topic? How does the audience feel about you, your team, and/or your organization? Knowing your audience helps determine: Format Organization Flow of thought To whom and how many different people are you writing? Write from the readers’ frame of reference. If writing for an audience with different levels of knowledge, format becomes more important: Use headings and sub-headings to help readers find the information they need Keep information in each section relevant to the section’s heading or sub-heading Examples: What the audience knows: acronyms How the audience feels: addressing a disgruntled worker, undecided about the direction of a new initiative, etc. 9

The Hidden Audience Who could read this document?
Is this document ready for infinite distribution? Should this document be written? The hidden audience is the unintended audience. Once a document has been sent to its intended audience, it can be forwarded or sent to other readers. Therefore, it should be: Well-organized Informative Unbiased Clear Discussion topic: Have any participants experienced a situation in which their document ended up in an unintended/the wrong person’s hands? What were the consequences? Did you think that could happen when you wrote it? Tools to use: Executive Summary: a high-level description of the document Headings and sub-headings: allow people to find the information they need Format: organizes the information 10

Purpose What do you want to accomplish with the document?
Does a decision need to be made? Do you want action? Are you trying to persuade the audience? Is this to inform others of information you collected? What is the end result/goal of your document? Purpose: What is the document intended to achieve? Goal: Determine the end result/goal of your document Inform, introduce, respond, explain, persuade, express an opinion, evaluate, request action, recommend, propose, encourage, argue, analyze, summarize Action: Indicate any specific action you are requesting (or the reaction you expect) from your audience Be clear and direct in communicating the purpose of your document. Discussion topic: Has anyone ever received an or letter and not understood its purpose after reading it? Were you supposed to do something or was it just to inform you? What did you do? 11

Understand Your Audience Exercise
You are a member of a project team. Review a sample project document of your choice. Read the descriptions for Reader A and Reader B. How would you write for different audiences? What is the purpose of each situation? Reader A (George) What do you want to get from George? What approach should you take with George? Reader B (Marie) How is Marie related to this? What do you want to get from Marie? How would you approach her? Other Audiences Are there other audiences to consider for your recommendations? NOTE: There aren’t right answers – the point of the exercise is to promote discussion of how people would approach the different players. 12

ORGANIZE YOUR INFORMATION The Writing Process PREPARE TO WRITE 13

Brainstorming Methods
Reading and Writing Method Research Take notes Outline Freewrite Graphic Method Draw an idea diagram Doodle Spoken Method Speak aloud Ask questions reader might ask Imagine conversation with reader Record on tape or write Group Method Discuss with colleagues, friends Brainstorm with colleagues Brainstorming is especially important for documents longer that 1-2 pages and for documents with important audiences. It is an iterative process, where you start with a set of ideas and add/subtract accordingly. Idea diagram: write the main subject in the center of the paper. Write all ideas in big circles and connect associated ideas. Spoken method: ask who, what, when, where, why, how Brainstorm with colleagues: rapidly generate ideas (write all of them down) and select the most useful ideas Useful tools include index cards, white boards, pencil and paper, and sticky notes. Discussion topic: Does anyone have any other brainstorming ideas or methods they use? 14

ORGANIZE YOUR INFORMATION The Writing Process PREPARE TO WRITE 15

Three Essential Components
Introduction Hook Key Message Purpose Body Background and Details Major and Minor Points Organized Ideas The three main components of any document are: introduction, body, conclusion. Hook (or angle): encourages the reader to continue reading (e.g. question, interesting fact, general statement about the subject) Body: there are 3 important functions of the body: To provide necessary and relevant background and details to support the main idea To list major and minor points To organize ideas logically and appropriately Conclusions may: Summarize Restate the key message Discuss the significance of the information contained in the document Request action Conclusion Summarize Restate Key Message Request Action 16

Organizing Your Information
Sample Methods of Organization: Sequence Advantages and Disadvantages Priority Cause and Effect Comparison and Contrast Problem and Solution Journalism Analysis Case Study Spatial Methods of organization: Examples: Sequence: when discussing a series of events Advantages/Disadvantages: when explaining arguments for or against an action or decision Priority: when arranging information by level of importance Cause and Effect: when illustrating the causes that produce effects or the effects of a cause Comparison and Contrast: when showing similarities and differences Problem and Solution: when exploring solutions for a particular problem Journalism: when explaining who, what, when, where, why, how Analysis: when examining the smaller parts of a larger subject Case Study: when using one example to study a general issue Spatial: when discussing physical location 17

Organizational Patterns: Documentation
For the detail-oriented Introduction > Body > Conclusions > Recommendations > Close For the action-oriented Introduction > Conclusions > Recommendations > Body > Close To give recommendations Introduction > Recommendations > Conclusions > Body > Close To catch the reader’s attention Introduction > Conclusions > Body > Recommendations > Close Begin with the discussion, tie it together with a conclusion, and add recommendations when appropriate. For the reader who wants, and has time, to read all the details Give the reader conclusions, then recommendations, followed by the discussion. For the reader who is very busy, wants to skip details, and trusts you to draw conclusions Give recommendations, explain the conclusions that support the recommendations, and give the discussion. For the reader who trusts your judgment, possibly a client with whom you have a good relationship and who knows the background information Give conclusions, present the discussion, and introduce the recommendations. For the reader whose attention must be caught and who needs to be walked through your logic and presented with action steps. 18

Organizational Patterns: Persuasion
Reader’s Question: Why should I read this? What are you suggesting? What’s in it for me? How do you know? Let me make sure I understand. Persuasive Pattern: Global Benefit Ideas & Features Specific Benefits Rationale Summary This is a simple organizational pattern to follow when persuading your reader. 19

DRAFT REVISE REFINE The Writing Process COMPOSE YOUR DOCUMENT 20

Focus on content, not mechanics.
Compose Your Document Decide what information to include or exclude. Organize your information. Pre-determined organization Flexible organization In drafting, you put your ideas into words on paper or a computer screen. This creates your first draft. It is best to prepare to write before you compose your document. This involves: planning your document, generating ideas, and organizing your document. This stage is focused on content, not mechanics (spelling, grammar, punctuation, usage). This comes later. If, while drafting, you become focused on mechanics, you will most likely lose your train of thought and not capture all of your ideas. Decide what information to include or exclude: Sort through the ideas you generated during your brainstorming session. Taking your MAP into consideration, choose the appropriate ideas to include in your document. Organize your information: Initial organization may be tentative. As the document develops, the best method of organization usually becomes clear. Pre-determined organization: information must be organized in a certain way, often for formal reports Flexible organization: organization has guidelines, but no fixed rules, often for letters, s, informal reports, etc. Focus on content, not mechanics. 21

Revise Your Document Is the message stated clearly?
Is the document appropriate for its audience? Does the document achieve its purpose? Is the document well-organized? Tips: Put your document aside for a few hours (or days) before revising it. This helps you look at it with fresh eyes. Print your document. Some problems are difficult to identify on a computer screen. It is wise to revise. Do not be hasty in sending your document after you have drafted it. Taking the reader’s point of view, ask these questions about your document. If the answer to any of these questions is ‘no’, consider making changes to make it more effective. Focus on content: message, audience, purpose, and organization. The refine stage focuses on mechanics. 23

Refine Your Document Confirm factual accuracy.
Enforce stylistic consistency. Correct mechanical errors. Reduce wordiness. Utilize appropriate tools. 25

Confirm Factual Accuracy
Figures Confirm the accuracy of figures by checking them against your original source. Calculations Confirm the accuracy of calculations by performing them at least twice. Pay attention to decimals, rounding, and percentages. Other Facts Confirm the accuracy of other facts by checking reliable records and sources. 26

Enforce Stylistic Consistency
Utilize a writing style guide. The Chicago Manual of Style American Psychological Association The Associated Press Stylebook Create a document style sheet (for documents longer than 2 pages). Capitalization, hyphenation, abbreviation, and use of italics and boldface 27

The Chicago Manual of Style
One popular writing style guide is the Chicago Manual of Style. This first excerpt shows a section on the use of commas and semicolons. Style Guides provide guidelines on everything from punctuation and abbreviations to quotations and tables. This second excerpt shows guidelines on the proper use of commonly misused words. 28

Document Style Sheet Example
Leeds: Style Sheet Term Use billing Always lower case except in titles bottom up Always hyphenate the adjective CO Only use the full term: "Change Order" deliverable based fees Recommend always using "deliverable-based fee" fixed fee Use fixed-fee pricing gross margin Leeds Corporation Always Leeds IDS First instance, "Integrated Delivery Strategy (IDS);" acronym only thereafter inspiration center Always capitalized: Inspiration Center module MVPs First instance: "Managing Vice Presidents (MVPs);" acronym only thereafter OIC First instance: "Officer in Charge (OIC);" acronym only thereafter A style sheet lists guidelines for the use of certain terms throughout a document. By using a style sheet, you will be able to keep track of whether a certain term is always capitalized or lower case, is hyphenated, can be shortened, etc. 29

Correct Mechanical Errors
Read carefully. Perform word processor spelling and grammar checks. Use a checklist of common mechanical errors. Refer to a dictionary, writing style guide, etc. Spelling, usage, grammar, and punctuation 30

Mechanics: Subject-Verb Agreement
Subject = a noun or noun phrase performing the action or being in the state expressed by the verb Verb = a word or group of words showing the action or state of being State of being: am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been The subject and verb in every sentence must agree in number. Refer participants to 20 Rules of Subject Verb Agreement and Understanding Subject Verb Agreement in the Appendix of their Participant Guide. 31

Mechanics: Subject-Verb Agreement Exercise
Each of the reports (contains/contain) useful information. Neither the Smith twins nor Samantha (was/were) informed of the changes made in the club bylaws. Her purse, along with her checkbook and all her credit cards (was/were) stolen. Neither of the experiments (appears/appear) to confirm the hypothesis. Acoustics (is/are) a science to which architects pay heed when they design theater halls. Three hours (is/are) a long time to wait in line. 32

Mechanics: Subject-Verb Agreement Exercise
Each of the reports (contains/contain) useful information. Neither the Smith twins nor Samantha (was/were) informed of the changes made in the club bylaws. Her purse, along with her checkbook and all her credit cards (was/were) stolen. Neither of the experiments (appears/appear) to confirm the hypothesis. Acoustics (is/are) a science to which architects pay heed when they design theater halls. Three hours (is/are) a long time to wait in line. Subject = each, singular (Rule #8) Subject = neither, singular (Rule #13) Subject = purse, singular (Rule #2) Subject = neither, singular (Rule #8) Subject = acoustics, singular (Rule #18) Subject = hours, singular (Rule #11) 33

Mechanics: Verb Tense Tense shows the time in which an act, state, or condition occurs or occurred. 3 major divisions of time: Past Present Future Be consistent with verb tense throughout your document. Be conscious of the verb tenses you use when writing. Consider your topic and use the appropriate tense consistently throughout your document. When writing about events in the past, use the past tense. When writing about current events, use the present tense. When writing about future events, use the future tense. Avoid switching between tenses too often. If your document discusses events in the past, present, and future, and it is well-organized, you should not have to vary your verb tense from sentence to sentence. 34

Mechanics: Sentence Fragments
A sentence fragment is an incomplete thought. There must be a subject and verb in every sentence. The baseball went into the neighbor’s backyard. Which is why I climbed the fence. Caleb cooks delicious food. Like tortellini and tiramisu. Because not reading the from her boss made Alice miss the meeting. A sentence fragment is an incomplete thought. It is a piece of a sentence that has become disconnected from the main clause. There must be a subject and verb in every sentence for it to be complete. How can these sentences be made complete? Remove the period and add a comma. The baseball went into the neighbor’s backyard, which is why I climbed the fence. Or, rearrange: I climbed the fence because the baseball went into the neighbor’s backyard. Remove the period and add a comma. Caleb cooks delicious food, like tortellini and tiramisu. Rearrange: Alice missed the meeting because she did not read the from her boss. 35

Mechanics: Run-on Sentences
Run-on sentence: two or more independent clauses joined with no punctuation or conjunction I went to the store yesterday I bought eggs, milk, and flour. Gina presented her proposal to the managers they approved it. Comma splice: two independent clauses joined with a comma I went to the store yesterday, I bought eggs, milk, and flour. Gina presented her proposal to the managers, they approved it. What are the independent clauses in these examples? I went to the store yesterday. I bought eggs, milk, and flour. Gina presented her proposal to the managers. They approved it. How can this error be corrected? Use a period. I went to the store yesterday. I bought eggs, milk, and flour. Gina presented her proposal to the managers. They approved it. Use a comma and conjunction. I went to the store yesterday, and I bought eggs, milk, and flour. Gina presented her proposal to the managers, and they approved it. Combine/rearrange them into 1 independent clause. I went to the store yesterday and bought eggs, milk, and flour. The managers approved the proposal that Gina presented. 36

Mechanics: Run-on Sentences
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities Opening line from A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens Is this a run-on sentence? A comma splice, maybe? In some cases, particularly in literary works, run-on sentences are used for dramatic effect. Run-on sentences are often acceptable in literary works, but not in business documents. 37

Mechanics: Pronouns Pronoun: a substitute for a noun or noun phrase
Type Function Singular Form Plural Form Subjective Serves as subject of a sentence I, You, He, She, It We, You, They Objective Serves as object of a verb or preposition Me, You, Him, Her, It Us, You, Them Possessive Indicates ownership My, Your, His, Her, Its Our, Your, Their Reflexive Names a receiver of an action that is identical with the actor Myself, Yourself, Himself, Herself, Itself Ourselves, Yourselves, Themselves Pronouns are used to economize writing. 38

He = Who (Subjective) Him = Whom (Objective)
Mechanics: Who vs. Whom Who/Whom wrote the letter? He wrote the letter. For who/whom should I vote? Should I vote for him? We all know who/whom pulled that prank. Who/Whom pulled that prank? He pulled that prank. We want to know on who/whom the prank was pulled. The prank was pulled on who/whom? The prank was pulled on him. He = Who (Subjective) Him = Whom (Objective) A common problem area associated with pronouns: who vs. whom. A simple way to determine whether to use who or whom is to replace it with he or him. If you’re asking a question, answer the question with he/him. It sometimes helps to rephrase the sentence or question. 39

Mechanics: Pronoun Exercise
Michael Jordan is taller than (I/me). Everyone should improve (his/their) writing skills. Between you and (I/me), the form of a pronoun is important. I’ll pledge my support to (whoever/whomever) promises to protect the environment. Mom, Dad, Rosie, and (me/I) made plans to attend the chili cook-off. I am going with (whoever/whomever) I wish. (Who/Whom) is responsible for the mistake? 40

Mechanics: Pronoun Exercise
Michael Jordan is taller than (I/me). Everyone should improve (his/their) writing skills. Between you and (I/me), the form of a pronoun is important. I’ll pledge my support to (whoever/whomever) promises to protect the environment. Mom, Dad, Rosie, and (me/I) made plans to attend the chili cook-off. I am going with (whoever/whomever) I wish. (Who/Whom) is responsible for the mistake? 41

Mechanics: Unclear Pronouns
Remove the desk from the carton and leave it on the loading dock. The bird landed on the wire and it fell. From his table, Gary saw Steve walk into the pizza shop. Bill was carrying his pizza to the table. Soon, he was sharing his pizza. Avoid unclear pronoun references. Remove the desk from the carton and leave it on the loading dock. Leave what on the loading dock, the desk or the carton? The bird landed on the wire, and it fell. What fell, the bird or the wire? From his table, Gary saw Steve walk into the pizza shop. Bill was carrying his pizza to the table. Soon, he was sharing his pizza. Who’s table is it? Who’s pizza was Bill carrying? Who was sharing who’s pizza? 42

Mechanics: Modifiers Modifier: a word or phrase that helps clarify or limit the extent of the meaning of another word, phrase, or clause Adjectives (modify nouns and pronouns) Adverbs (modify verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs) Dangling modifier: a misplaced modifier, attaching itself to a word other than the word to which it was meant to be attached “One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I don’t know.” -Groucho Marx, Animal Crackers 43

Mechanics: Modifier Exercise
Walking down Main Street, the trees were beautiful. The sheriff heard that the prisoner had escaped from the messenger. Dr. Stillwell will discuss methods of growing giant firs in the Carson Building conference room. I saw the car peeking through a window. I was told that the copier was broken by Joey. She is picking up the materials for the other instructor we had sent. Walking down Main Street, the trees were beautiful. Trees cannot walk down the street. When a modifier is at the beginning of a sentence, the word it modifies should follow immediately. Walking down Main Street, I thought the trees were beautiful. The sheriff heard that the prisoner had escaped from the messenger. Try rewording the sentence. The messenger told the sheriff that the prisoner had escaped. Dr. Stillwell will discuss methods of growing giant firs in the Carson Building conference room. Dr. Stillwell’s discussion on methods of growing giant firs will take place in the Carson Building conference room. I saw the car peeking through a window. Peeking through a window, I saw the car. I saw the car when I peeked through a window. I was told that the copier was broken by Joey. Joey told me that the copier was broken. Joey broke the copier. She is picking up the materials for the other instructor we had sent. She is picking up the materials that we sent to the other instructor. She is picking up the materials to give to the other instructor we sent to the conference. 44

Mechanics: Parallel Structures
Parallel structure: the balance of two or more similar words, phrases, or clauses Correlative conjunction: a paired conjunction that links balanced words, phrases, and clauses Both…and Either…or Just as…so Neither…nor Not only…but also Whether…or Parallel structure improves writing style and readability. Clarifies meaning Creates symmetry Lends equality to each idea in the series Also known as: parallelism or parallel construction Related to parallelism is the correlative conjunction. Anytime a correlative conjunction is used, the words, phrases, or clauses that follow should be parallel. 45

Mechanics: Parallel Structures Activity 1
Sue likes cooking, jogging, and to read. Please complete this form, sign it, and then it should be sent to me. Patsy not only wrote the proposal but also to present it to the board. Peyton both conducted research and will write the report. Our goals are to: Write powerful documents. Edit more thoroughly. Thinking from the reader’s perspective. Correct these sentences: Sue likes cooking, jogging, and to read. Sue likes cooking, jogging, and reading. Please complete this form, sign it, and then it should be sent to me. Please complete this form, sign it, and send it to me. Patsy not only wrote the proposal but also to present it to the board. Patsy not only wrote the proposal but also presented it to the board. Patsy is going to not only write the proposal but also present it to the board. Peyton both conducted research and will write the report. Peyton both conducted research and wrote the report. Peyton will both conduct research and write the report. Our goals are to: Write powerful documents. Edit more thoroughly. Thinking from the reader’s perspective. Think from the reader’s perspective. 46

Mechanics: Parallel Structures Activity 2
Phone, VP of Operations, CEO Analyze, survey Execute, deploy Collaborate, resolve Write a sentence using a correlative conjunction with the topics listed. Ask participants to share one of their sentences. Sample sentences: Feel free to contact me either by phone or by . Neither the VP of Operations nor the CEO will be able to meet with us this week. Just as I analyzed the point-of-sale system, so I surveyed the routing system. In 6 weeks, our team was able to not only execute but also deploy the 3rd party routing system. Gene was able to both collaborate with the client and resolve the issue. 47

Mechanics: Tone Tone: the writer’s implied attitude toward the subject or toward the audience Using an appropriate tone will result in: A positive reader response No unintentionally offensive language Appropriate tone reflects your attitude toward the subject and audience by considering the level of: Formality: Who will read this? Urgency: How urgent is this message? Objectivity: How objective do I need to be? Formality: Use standard prose in business writing: Please read the documents carefully… Does not contain formal, academic writing: It would behoove you to peruse the documents… Does not contain informal, casual writing: Check out the docs… Urgency: Use specific times with subordinates: By 10:30am on Thursday… Inform superiors what work they will be holding up so they can evaluate the urgency: If I may have your answer by noon, I can begin planning… Objectivity: Unless trying to convince your audience to accept an idea, avoid giving your opinion: Her impressive resume… Avoid judgmental language: This small raise reflects your poor work… Stick with facts: Your computer can select the printer’s various functions… 48

Mechanics: Tone Activity 1
Review Ashley’s impressive resume and let me know your thoughts. It would behoove all employees to refrain from making personal calls during work. Please send this document out today if you can. Write a report discussing your research and turn it in to me next week. Tailor the tone of these sentences. Possible solutions: Remove “impressive” to make it more objective. Review Ashley’s resume and let me know your thoughts. Replace “behoove” and “refrain” with standard vocabulary to decrease the formality. Employees should avoid making personal calls during work. Remove “if you can” or give a specific time to create more urgency. Please send this document out before the end of the day. Give a specific time to create more urgency. Write a report discussing your research and turn it in by noon on Monday. 49

Mechanics: Tone Confident Conversational Positive Courteous
Use: Will, Can Avoid: I think, if you agree Conversational Use: everyday vocabulary, contractions Avoid: corporate jargon, formal vocabulary Positive Use: can, benefit Avoid: cannot, unable to Courteous Use: please, thank you Avoid: rude language, pointing blame Strive to use a confident, courteous, conversational, and positive tone in your business writing. It does not reflect well upon you or your company when you use a sarcastic, humorous, and/or negative tone. Confident: State everything as a matter of fact to demonstrate security. Conversational: Your document should read like an everyday conversation. It should not sound stuffy or wordy. Positive: Using positive language helps the audience think positively and see the glass as half full. Courteous: Using polite language and not pointing blame helps the audience feel like you’re trying to help and are on the same side, as opposed to becoming defensive or being offended. 50

Mechanics: Tone Activity 2
Although our team is small, it can easily handle your request. I apologize profusely for the unintentional deviation from the project’s expected completion date. You failed to pay your bill on time. Had you read the item description, you would have selected something else. Rewrite the sentences to modify the tone. Possible solutions: Our team can easily handle your request. I apologize for the delay in the project’s completion. We haven’t received your October payment. We are sorry you feel that the item did not live up to its description. 51

Mechanics: Voice Voice: used to describe whether the subject of the sentence is acting or receiving the action expressed by the verb Verbs take three forms: Active: the subject does the acting Shakespeare wrote Hamlet. Passive: the subject receives the action Hamlet was written by Shakespeare. Inert: the subject does not act or receive the action Shakespeare was a playwright. Inert voice is usually set up in an X=Y construction. In other words, when “to be” verbs are used as equal signs. When the subject is acting, we say that the subject is the doer. When the subject is receiving the action, we say that the subject is the receiver. In the first sentence, the subject of the sentence (Shakespeare) is the doer. In the second sentence, the subject of the sentence (Hamlet) is the receiver. The doer (Shakespeare) appears in the prepositional phrase “by Shakespeare”. The verb in the passive voice is never a simple verb. It is always a verb phrase. 52

Mechanics: Why Does Voice Matter?
Active voice: Clearly identifies the actor Simplifies sentences Passive voice: Delays, hides, or erases the action Requires more words Suggests passivity, hesitancy, or a lack of clarity Using active voice is good. Most of the time, active sentence construction clarifies writing and makes it more powerful. In some cases, it is better to use passive voice. It is ok to use passive voice in your writing. 53

Mechanics: Passive vs. Active Voice
The ball was thrown. Rocks are hauled away. Two goals were scored. She threw the ball. Trucks haul rocks away. Jay scored two goals. 54

Mechanics: Recognizing Passive Voice
Does the sentence contain a “to be” verb? Yes Is the verb following the “to be” verb in the past tense? Yes Does (or can) “by” appear after the combined verbs? “To be” verbs: am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been Yes The sentence is passive. 55

Mechanics: Active, Passive, or Inert?
We were surprised by the ease of the work. Nothing has been promised. The race was too close to call. New rules will be published by the commission. Run to the bakery and pick up a pie. Tito was the dog in the commercial. The committee will grant final approval of the project. The report was written yesterday. Identify the verb and determine if the sentence is active, passive, or inert. Passive: verb=“were surprised”; followed with “by” Passive: verb=“has been promised”; could be followed with “by” Inert: verb=“was” Passive: verb=“will be published”; followed with “by” Active: verb=“run” and “pick up” Active: verb=“will grant” Passive: verb=“was written”; could be followed with “by” 56

Mechanics: Making Passive Sentences Active
Place the “actor” in front of the “action”. Eliminate the “to be” verb. The wall was damaged by the earthquake. The earthquake damaged the wall. 57

Mechanics: Making Active Sentences Exercise
We were surprised by the ease of the work. Nothing has been promised. The race was too close to call. New rules will be published by the commission. Run to the bakery and pick up a pie. Tito was the dog in the commercial. The committee will grant final approval of the project. The report was written yesterday. Make these sentences active. Passive: verb=“were surprised”; followed with “by” The ease of the work surprised us. Passive: verb=“has been promised”; could be followed with “by” He made no promises. He promised us nothing. Inert: verb=“was” Passive: verb=“will be published”; followed with “by” The commission will publish new rules. Active: verb=“run” and “pick up” Active: verb=“will grant” Passive: verb=“was written”; could be followed with “by” I wrote the report yesterday. 58

Use familiar, precise language
Reduce Wordiness Use the SURE Test. Remove words that do not add meaning. Choose strong verbs. Vary sentence length. Write with a human touch. Use familiar, precise language 59

Wordiness: Short Words vs. Long Words
Use short words to increase readability and efficiency. Long words are preferable when they are: Simple, familiar Unique Rich, precise Economical, efficient Short words are often easier and quicker for people to understand. Long words are sometimes better to use when: Simple: the long word is simpler and more familiar than the short-word equivalent Mean vs. average Counsel vs. recommendation Dialogue vs. conversation Aegis vs. sponsorship Unique: there is no short word to replace the long without defining it, which increases the wordiness. Most technical vocabulary falls in this category. Depreciation Amortization Government Civilization Rich: the long word is very descriptive and conveys meaning precisely. Past vs. experience Make vs. manufacture Economical: the long word saves words # of people that don’t have jobs vs. unemployment The place that someone is going vs. destination Very charming and draws people to them vs. charismatic Quote: Mark Twain was paid by the number of words. Exercise 9: Wordiness Activity 1 – Short Words vs. Long Words 8 minutes A copy of this Exercise is in the Participant Guide for reference. Discuss the possible solutions with the class. “I never write ‘metropolis’ for seven cents because I can get the same price for ‘city’. I never write ‘policeman’ because I can get the same money for ‘cop’.” -Mark Twain 60

Wordiness: Redundant Words
Remove words that do not add meaning Every now and then I sometimes work overtime. I estimate the project will be complete in approximately 5 weeks. This upward trend should continue in the future. I typed the on the computer yesterday. A word or phrase is not necessary when its meaning has already been conveyed or implied in another, more efficient term. How can these sentences be rewritten? Examples: Every now and then I sometimes work overtime. “every now and then” is conveyed in “sometimes” I sometimes work overtime. I estimate the project will be complete in approximately 5 weeks. “estimate” and “approximately” convey the same meaning This sentence is also passive. We will complete the project in approximately 5 weeks. This upward trend should continue in the future. “continue” implies “in the future” This upward trend should continue. I typed the on the computer yesterday. “ ” implies “on the computer” I typed the yesterday. Exercise 9: Wordiness Activity 2 – Redundant Words 10 minutes A copy of this Exercise is in the Participant Guide for reference. Discuss the possible solutions with the class. 61

Wordiness: Specific vs. General Verbs
Observe Perceive Notice Spot Perform Carry Out Complete Achieve SEE DO Stumble Amble Tromp Limp Phone Write Meet Call The verbs on the right are more descriptive or more visually active than the verbs on the left. WALK CONTACT 62

Wordiness: Specific vs. General Verbs
Specific verbs: Energize descriptions Engage readers Economize writing Jerry made the name tags for the meeting. Jerry designed the name tags for the meeting. Engage readers by helping them see/feel exactly what’s happening. Economize writing by conveying exactly what’s happening in one word rather than relying on more words to inform the reader. 63

Wordiness: Smothered Verbs
Smothered verb: a verb turned into a noun Examples: Make an assessment vs. Assess Give authorization vs. Authorize Give a quotation vs. Quote Avoiding smothered verbs: Saves words Provides strength Focuses on action Saves words: Verbs used in noun form require additional words to help the noun. Using the verb eliminates the need for the helpers. Provides strength: Using the verb adds strength and force to the sentence. In the examples shown, “assess” is more forceful that “make”. “Authorize” and “quote” are stronger than “give”. Focuses on action: Verbs used in noun form get lost in the text and seem weak and passive. When the verb is used, the reader knows what action is being taken. 64

Wordiness: Smothered Verbs Exercise
My expectation is that the board will provide approval of the contract by Thursday. Mark will make a choice on who to staff on the project. My manager asked me to hold a discussion with the client about the project timeline. The client asked us to perform a review of their inventory process and make a recommendation. Granger gave his recommendation that we begin the presentation at noon. Susan is going to conduct a survey with the shareholders. Rewrite these sentences to eliminate the smothered verbs. My expectation is that the board will provide approval of the contract by Thursday. I expect the board to approve the contract by Thursday. Mark will make a choice on who to staff on the project. Mark will choose who to staff on the project. My manager asked me to hold a discussion with the client about the project timeline. My manager asked me to discuss the project timeline with the client. The client asked us to perform a review of their inventory process and make a recommendation. The client asked us to review their inventory process and make a recommendation. It’s not always bad to use nominalizations. Sometimes they’re necessary. The client asked us to review their inventory process and recommend changes. Granger gave his recommendation that we begin the presentation at noon. Granger recommended we begin the presentation at noon. Susan is going to conduct a survey with the shareholders. Susan will survey the shareholders. 65

Wordiness: Sentence Length
Readers need variety in sentence length to stay engaged. Use one idea per sentence. Mix different sentence lengths. Example: 12 words, 20 words, 4 words Short sentences are OK. The visual appearance of a sentence is just as important as the content. The amount of white space should vary throughout the document. What works well in speech does not work well in writing. We tend to be redundant in our speech. Do not just write what you would say. This is often a good starting point, but be sure to review what you write to eliminate redundancy, run-on sentences, multiple thought sentences, misplaced modifiers, sentence fragments, etc. A sentence is a mentally manageable thought. If you can’t remember the beginning of the sentence when you get to the end, you should break it up. If a sentence is too long, the reader may skip it or feel tired before even reading it. Short sentences (2-3 words) punctuate and add zing to most professional writing. They are equally useful and acceptable in business writing. 66

Wordiness: Sentence Length
The association is very active in establishing professional evaluation programs. Their activity in this regard is a very positive thing. That responsibility is one which must be accepted by someone. 10 words, 10 words, 10 words The association is very active in setting up evaluation programs for the profession. That’s good. Someone needs to do it. 13 words, 2 words, 5 words The first example is very monotone because the sentences are all the same length. The second example has more variety in pace. Although both say the same thing, the first uses three 10-word sentences. The second uses a 13-word, a 2-word, and a 5-word sentence. 67

Wordiness: Human Touch
Readers usually respond well to writing that sounds natural. A sizable oncorhynchus mykiss elevated itself above the reservoir’s placid façade several meters beyond the diminutive vessel’s starboard flank. Close beside the boat, a big trout broke the surface of the water. Both sentences are active and descriptive. Which one is more memorable? There’s so much going on in the first sentence that a reader quickly loses the point. After reading the second sentence, the reader has a crisp, organic understanding of the scene. The first sentence sounds like the author is trying too hard. To understand the difference is to understand the art of writing with a human touch. Oncorhynchus mykiss is the scientific name for a rainbow trout. Exercise 11: Mechanics and Wordiness 20 minutes A copy of this Exercise is in the Participant Guide for reference. Discuss the possible solutions with the class. Refer participants to Grammar Cheat Sheet, Checklist for Refining Your Documents, and Proofreaders’ Marks in the Appendix of their Participant Guide. These are useful tools for participants to use while refining their documents. 68

Utilize Appropriate Tools
Motor to Weight Ratio Fog Index Microsoft Word Writing Style Options We’re going to discuss a few tools designed to help you evaluate the readability of your writing. 69

Tools: Motor to Weight Ratio
M : W ACTION VERBS : TOTAL WORDS The new manager-mentor program lasts six months. 1:8 The program is based on the premise that students need practice and opportunities to practice in safe environments. 2:18 The motor-to-weight ratio is a tool you can use to measure the forcefulness of your writing. The more verbs you use per total words, the greater impact your writing will have. Action verbs are active verbs and infinitives. Verbs that are in the infinitive form count as an active verb when calculating the motor to weight ratio. An infinitive is a verb phrase that starts with “to”. For example, “to practice” in the second sentence shown. 70

Tools: Fog Index Fog Index:
Allows us to assess readability Was created in 1968 by Robert Gunning, an English professor at Oxford University Is a number that ties to the complexity of a reading level (grades 6-17) Words and grammatical structures determine language complexity. A complex topic does not require complex writing. The Fog Index indicates the complexity of your writing. It does not make a difficult subject easier. You may write about geometry or history or accounting at a variety of reading levels. The subject itself remains as hard or as easy as it is. Subject-matter complexity and language complexity are not necessarily related. Your subject matter will range from simple to complex. Your readers will vary in education, intelligence, and knowledge. Whatever your subject, whoever your audience, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by being clear and concise. 71

Tools: Fog Index A mathematician’s definition of the Euclidean Continuum: Such a surface may be designated a continuum that exhibits the property of enabling continuity of movement from any position thereon to any other position through undertaking a repetitive process of numerous uninterrupted migrations from one point to any other point that is in immediate juxtaposition to it. 72

Tools: Fog Index Albert Einstein’s definition of the Euclidean Continuum: I can get from any point on a marble table to any other point by passing continuously from one point to a neighboring one and repeating the process a large number of times. In other words, by going from point to point without executing jumps. We express this property of the surface by describing the latter as a continuum. 73

Tools: Fog Index Danger Zone Safe Zone Easy Zone INDEX ZONE FOG INDEX
READING LEVEL BY GRADE READING LEVEL BY MAGAZINE Danger Zone 17 16 15 14 13 College Graduate College Senior College Junior College Sophomore College Freshman (No popular magazines are in this zone, difficult to read.) Safe Zone 12 11 High School Senior High School Junior Atlantic Monthly Harper’s Easy Zone 10 9 8 7 6 High School Sophomore High School Freshman Eighth Grade Seventh Grade Sixth Grade Time Reader’s Digest Ladies’ Home Journal True Confessions Comics The right column lists some popular literature and the reading levels in which they tend to fall. If writing to sell, do not write above a 12. Many people can read above level 12, but most people will not read willingly above level 12 on their own time. True Confessions Magazine features true reader-to-reader articles such as “My Son Stopped a Killer”, “Confessions of a Fatherless Daughter”, and “In My Mother’s Footsteps: I’m Making the Same Mistakes She Made”. 74

Tools: Fog Index AUTHOR / PUBLICATION F.I. POE 12 WALL STREET JOURNAL
FAULKNER NEW YORK TIMES 11 NEWSWEEK TIME 10 CHICAGO SUN-TIMES 9 HEMINGWAY SHAKESPEARE 6 Low fog does not imply a low level of sophistication. Ex: Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. This is an easy sentence to read, but not simple to analyze. Even theologians disagree on its exact meaning. 75

Tools: Fog Index (Total words / Total sentences)
+ (Long words / Total words * 100) Total x 0.4 Fog Index 54 / 1 = 54 + 10 / 54 * 100 = 18.5 72.5 x 0.4 29 Gopher Gas Storage Company (GGSC), whose purpose is to own and operate high deliverability, multi-cycle natural gas storage facilities in strategic areas across the United States has determined that, due to increasing business demands, it requires a new back office system that will scale effectively to meet the company’s current and anticipated growth plans. What do you count as a sentence? Groups of words that start with a capital letter and end with a period, question mark, or explanation point. If a sentence contains a semi-colon and the words following the semi-colon could be a complete sentence, then count it as two sentences. If the words following the semi-colon could not stand alone as a sentence without rewords, then count the whole sentence as one sentence. (If the semi-colon is used correctly, the sentence would count as 2 sentences.) What do you count as a long word? All words over 3 syllables EXCEPT: Proper nouns, capitalized words (Minneapolis, Cherokee) Combinations of short, easy words (bookkeeper, nevertheless, anybody) Words that become three syllables when –es or –ed is added (confesses, disgusted, resources) -ing words are long words. Review the calculations with the class. 76

Tools: Fog Index (Total words / Total sentences)
+ (Long words / Total words * 100) Total x 0.4 Fog Index 37 / 2 = 18.5 + 3 / 37 * 100 = 8.1 26.6 x 0.4 10.6 Gopher Gas Storage Company (GGSC), whose purpose is to owns and operates high deliverability, multi-cycle natural gas storage facilities depots in strategic areas across the United States. has determined that, Due to increasing business demands, it GGSC requires needs a new back office system that will scale effectively to meet the company’s current and anticipated growth plans. Review the calculations of the revised text. By applying the principles learned in this class, the Fog Index was reduced significantly from 29 to 10.6. 77

Tools: Fog Index If you cannot avoid high fog: Use a short sample
Motivate the reader Use an interesting style Catch a fresh reader Sometimes writers cannot avoid high fog. For example, technical documents requiring many long words might pose a particular challenge. If the sample has high fog but is short, people will usually struggle through it rather than give up completely. If the information is important to the reader, he or she will read it. If the writing has high fog, make it interesting to engage the reader. Give the writing to the reader early in the day and, if possible, wait for them to read it while you are there. 78

Tools: Microsoft Word Writing Style Options
Tools > Options > Spelling & Grammar You can adjust what the Spelling & Grammar Check looks for when it runs. This is a good way to check your weak areas. For example, if you know you have a difficult time with possessives (e.g. “it’s” vs. “its”), make sure “Possessives and plurals” is checked under Grammar Settings. CAUTION: Spelling & Grammar Check is not a “cure all” for proofing your writing. It cannot consider context or intended meanings. It may suggest changes you do not want to make. Use this carefully. Microsoft Word does display readability statistics for your document. To enable this, check “Show readability statistics” under the Grammar section of the Options box. 79

Tools: Microsoft Word Writing Style Options
Run Spelling & Grammar Check To view your document’s readability statistics, run the Spelling & Grammar Check. Once the check is complete, the readability statistics will appear. The Flesch Reading Ease Scale measures readability as follows: 100: Very easy to read. Average sentence length is 12 words or fewer. No words of more than two syllables. 65: Plain English. Average sentence length is 15 to 20 words. Average word has two syllables. 30: Pretty difficult to read. Sentences will have mostly 25 words. Two syllables usually. 0: Extremely difficult to read. Average sentence length is 37 words. Average word has more than two syllables. The Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level translates the Flesch Reading Ease Scale into a US grade level, similar to Fog Index grade levels. 80

Exercise 12: Measure Readability
Writing Topics: A project deliverable you created An to your client requesting feedback on your project words, or approx. half a typed page Revise a writing sample using the skills we’ve learned to improve readability. Aim for samples to have a Grade Level of 10 or below Average WPS of 18 or below Passive Sentence 10% or better 81

COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVLEY
PRESENTATIONS DATA PRESENTATION This section of the course provides helpful tips, basic etiquette, and guidelines for the effective use of , PowerPoint, Word, and Excel. COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVLEY 82

Choosing the Program Message: What information must be conveyed?
Audience: Who is your audience? Purpose: What is the purpose of the communication? Consider your MAP (message, audience, purpose)! It will guide you in the right direction. 83

Choosing the Program Word Excel PowerPoint Benefits Can contain high levels of description and detail Easily understood and passed to beyond immediate time and audiences Easy to sort and organize lists of information Ability to group items by categories, filter information, and make calculations Good at displaying visual information and supporting ideas during meetings Limitations Tables and graphics can be difficult to incorporate and work with Updating and maintaining currency is most time consuming Cells have a size limit making it difficult to document detail Formatting for printing and adding to documentation is difficult Low-resolution and low level of detail can make meaning difficult to discern Best Uses Documentation, Disseminating large amounts of information, Information you want to live beyond the immediate audience Large lists that require categorizing or filtering to digest High level summaries Displaying visual information Choose the program based on the purpose of the message and the level of detail needed.

PRESENTATIONS DATA PRESENTATION The writing process is just as important when writing an as it is when writing a report or creating a PowerPoint presentation. You may go through the steps fairly quickly, but going through them will surely improve your ’s effectiveness. COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVLEY 85

Top 10 Mistakes to Avoid When Writing Email
Thinking is good for everything Not writing from the reader’s perspective Forgetting about the importance of etiquette CCing the world Believing that an erased is gone forever Viewing instant messages as less ‘formal’ than Assuming people have time to read your entire message Mismatching the sender’s tone Lack of a clear request Not re-reading before you hit ‘send’ Thinking is good for everything Don't let convenience blind you. Sensitive issues, confidential information, provocative subjects, and areas of conflict are just a few of the messages that should be off-limits to and dealt with via phone or face-to-face. Not writing from the reader's perspective Could your message be misinterpreted? Could an innocent tongue-in-cheek remark be misconstrued? Re-read all your s and become sensitive to their "tone" and how readers might interpret them. Forgetting about the importance of etiquette It's always a good idea, no matter how rushed you are, to create a positive impression by using an opening and closing (e.g. Dear Mr. Smith or Regards, Joe Black), correcting sloppy grammar and spelling, using a clear and descriptive subject line, and not using jargon and abbreviations that might mystify the reader. CCing the world Often, people courtesy copy (cc) others as a means of cyber-gossip or to vent their frustrations. This leads not only to traffic jams in others' inboxes, but in the worst case, defamation, and in the best case, hurt feelings. When writing , only cc those parties that are directly related to the situation or message. Believing that an erased is gone forever Even if you delete an message from your inbox, it is retrievable from the company's system, the recipient's computer, or from the recipient's company's network. With technical know how, s can even be retrieved from your computer's hard drive. Learn to think of documents as permanent. Viewing instant messages as less 'formal' than The nature of IM or chat is similar to a conversation where both parties are responding to one another in real time. Living up to their name, IMs happen in the moment and, unlike , they are reactive. The next thing you type depends on the message you receive. With their rapid-fire speed it's easy to forego discipline and make silly mistakes - such as making assumptions that have little or no facts behind them, making promises that can't be fulfilled, or disclosing private company information. Assuming people have time to read your entire message To be most effective, whenever possible, messages should be short and contain all the most pertinent and important data in the first paragraph. Most of us have a short attention span when reading from a computer screen. If we think we know where the message is going, it's easy to save time and move onto the next message without having read the nugget of information buried in the last paragraph. Mismatching the sender's tone One of the toughest aspects of writing is developing a feeling of rapport - especially if you don't know the person with whom you are corresponding. Writers with a formal, no-nonsense style usually like a similar response. For others who take a more chatty and expressive approach to their s, respond in kind. Lack of a clear request You know how frustrating it can be to read and reread an and not know what the sender really wants, "Is it an FYI or do I need to do something?“ Specific requests are essential in . Make sure yours are clearly defined, have a timeframe attached to them and include any necessary background information. If your isn't a request, label it an FYI. Not re-reading before you hit 'send' As any contractor knows, the rule is "measure twice, cut once." By reading your over before you send it you can catch and correct all sorts of mistakes before they get to the recipient and possibly create a bad impression or put you and/or your company in hot water. By Karen Leland and Keith Bailey 86

PRESENTATIONS DATA PRESENTATION COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVLEY 87

PowerPoint Presentations
Purpose of PowerPoint: to display visual information and present data 2 elements of a PowerPoint presentation: Graphics and data Text to support the idea and graphic 88

Top 10 Tips for PowerPoint
The audience’s eye will be drawn to one thing when they see the slide. Make sure it’s the most important. Make sure everything is digestible in 20 seconds. PowerPoint is a tool for displaying visual information but is terrible for written documentation. Consider making your presentations and deliverables a mix of PowerPoint and Word. Have take-aways that reinforce the idea and aren’t in a PowerPoint format. Ex: tip sheets as a class supplement Use at least size font and a Sans Serif font. Use consistency in color schemes, punctuation, graphics, and nomenclature. Avoid vague quantitative words, such as “very”, that leave the meaning up to the audience. If a concept can be said with a picture, it will be better conveyed. However, don’t use graphics to decorate a few numbers. Do not use this slide as an example of good design. It’s an example of what not to do. The word “visual” is red in bullet 3 to prove this point. 3. A concise and readable Word or PDF document with links to more detail, for those who are interested, would be far more effective than a printout of the PowerPoint presentation. With a printout of an old PowerPoint presentation, the reader must guess and try to find meaning from the series of low-resolution titles, bullets, charts, and clipart. At least, until the reader gives up. With a written document, there is no reason for shallowness or ambiguity. 4. To be effective, use a well-written, detailed document for your handout and well-designed, simple, intelligent graphics for your visuals. A written document that covers the details and documentation of the presentation will give the audience more breadth of the subject while making the presentation itself easier to follow. 89

Text Use in PowerPoint Keep phrasing clear, simple, and short.
Follow the 6x8 rule. Limit text to 5 bullets at most. Limit text to two outline levels. Use parallel phrasing in bulleted lists. Keep phrasing clear, simple, and short. Long blocks of text or full paragraphs are a sign that you are either using the wrong tool or being too wordy. Follow the 6x8 rule. A common rule is that any slide, page, or group of items should have no more than six lines of 8 words or 8 lines of six words. That’s less than 50 words. Limit text to 5 bullets at most. It is difficult to comprehend lengthy lists. You may need to group and subgroup the points to make it easier to remember them. Limit text to two outline levels. Three or more levels of bullet points are difficult for the audience to follow. In a presentation, the goal is to offer high-level information. Use parallel phrasing in bulleted lists. Do not go back and forth between starting with nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs. Avoid starting bullets with articles (a, an, the) unless they are needed to keep your meaning clear. 90

PRESENTATIONS DATA PRESENTATION COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVLEY 91

Tufte’s 8 Principles of Data Presentation
Show comparisons. Show causality. Show multi-variate data. Integrate word, number, and image (i.e. show all evidence on diagram). Document everything and tell everyone about it. Clearly state sources for data. Presentations stand or fall based on quality, relevance, and integrity of content. What is your message? Show information as long as you can adjacent in space vs. stacked in time. Use small multiples. Show all the data; do not cherry pick. Showing all data helps gain credibility with the audience. Edward Tufte is the father of information design. He is an American statistician and professor of statistics, information design, interface design, and political economy at Yale University. He is an expert in the presentation of informational graphics, such as charts and diagrams. For more information, see one of his books or attend his one day course. 92

Show comparisons. # of soldiers at the beginning of the march vs. the end Show causality. View the temperature scale. Show multi-variate data. This diagram shows 6 dimensions: the size of the army, lat/longitude, temperature, dates, directions. Discuss each principle with participants. Ask for benefits of (or concerns with) each principle. High density designs allow viewers to select, narrate, recast, and personalize data for their own use. Data-thin, forgetful displays move viewers toward ignorance and passivity, and they diminish the credibility of the source by prompting viewers to wonder what the presenter is leaving out. 93

Integrate word, number, and image (i.e. show all evidence on diagram). Put labels in line and next to image. Do not use legends/keys that require “back and forths”. Exhibit A. Improper use of labels Exhibit B. Proper use of labels Discuss each principle with participants. Ask for benefits of (or concerns with) each principle. 94

Document everything and tell everyone about it. Clearly state sources for data. Presentations stand or fall based on quality, relevance, and integrity of content. What is your message? What can you show to best support the thinking required to accept this message? Ex: the message in the Napoleon poster is an anti-war message. All the content supports the case against war. Show information as long as you can adjacent in space vs. stacked in time. Discuss each principle with participants. Ask for benefits of (or concerns with) each principle. 95

Use small multiples. Show all the data; do not cherry pick. Showing all data helps gain credibility with the audience. Graphic B: This graphic displays data in context and reveals a very different message. Graphic A: This graphic displays data out of context and leaves most important questions unanswered. Discuss each principle with participants. Ask for benefits of (or concerns with) each principle. 96

London Underground Map
Tufteism Look for good examples in everyday lists of data presentation and use them. London Underground Map Financial Services 97

Effective Business Writing

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