1. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Talking with Kids Tips for Good Communication Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service West Lafayette, IN 2002

2. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Communication Skills Are taught and caught. Are useful in all human interaction.

3. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Useful Skills Effective listening Respectful messages Encouragement Basis for: –Conflict resolution –Effective discipline –Nurturing atmosphere

4. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Children Are People too! Respond to the way others communicate. Nagging, criticizing, lecturing don’t work. Key - Develop a relationship based on respect.

5. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Effective Listening Be willing and able to listen. Give your full attention. Block out distractions. Get rid of any bias.

6. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Good Body Language Put yourself at child’s eye level. Use appropriate gestures. Be careful of touching. Maintain eye contact.

7. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Show Interest Use door openers. Offer encouragement Ask questions.

8. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Did You Understand? Use your own words. “If I understood you correctly…” Look for the feelings behind the words. “You’re really nervous about that…”

9. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Reflective Listening Helps children work through problems. Allows them to clarify what they said. Makes children feel important. Shows that someone cares about them.

10. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Encouragement Builds children’s confidence. Improves relationships. Helps children accept and learn from mistakes. Helps develop courage to be imperfect.

11. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Behavior to Eliminate Negative expectations. Unreasonably high standards. Promoting competition among youth. Over ambition.

12. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Encouraging Attitudes Accept children as they are Ignore tattling Have faith in children

13. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service Talking with Kids Be an effective listener Use respectful messages Encourage children

14. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service The End! Optimizing Your Potential as a 4-H Volunteer Fall, 2001 (Rev. 2/05) 4-H Youth Department, Purdue University West Lafayette, IN Catherine E. Burwell, Ph.D., Extension Specialist cathy.burwell@ces.purdue.educathy.burwell@ces.purdue.edu Renee K. McKee, Ph.D., Project Director rmckee@four-h.purdue.edurmckee@four-h.purdue.edu

15. Purdue University Cooperative Extension Service References Crossier, S.J. 1996. Learning about Early Adolescent Development Training for Adults and Teens Who Work with 9-14 Year Olds. Cornell Cooperative Extension Service. Ithaca, NY. Because Youth Matter. University of Massachusetts Cooperative Extension Service. Faber, A. & Mazlish, E. How to Talk so Kids Will Listen, and Listen so Kids Will Talk.