1. Winning the War with Yourself Webinar Presentation, January 16, 2013 Joe Tye, CEO and Head Coach Values Coach Inc. Copyright © 2013, Values Coach Inc.

2. 2 If you have questions that I did not address in this webinar, send me an email and I’ll respond: joe@joetye.com

3. “I count him braver who overcomes [himself] than him who overcomes his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self.” Aristotle

4. 4 “Know the enemy, know yourself; your victory will never be endangered.” Sun Tzu: The Art of War

5. 5 “Know the weather, know the terrain; your victory will be total” Sun Tzu: The Art of War

6. 6 “Those who are determined to die with glory will live, while those who merely hope to escape with their lives will die.” Wu Ch’i: The Art of War

14. 14 Key goals of this webinar*…. *And all in 60 minutes!

15. 15 1.Recognize Your Own Worst Enemy (YOWE) when it shows up 2.Prevent YOWE from causing you to act in ways that are not in your own best interest 3.Share practical strategies for more positive attitude and behaviors

16. 16 Have you ever…

17. 17 Said or done something you later regretted?

18. 18 Procrastinated – put off doing something important?

19. 19 Given in to a poor self- image or low self-esteem?

20. 20 Given up on a dream?

21. 21 Had buyers’ remorse

22. 22 If your answers to these questions is “no” then watch for our remedial course on honesty

23. 23 But if you answered yes, then bring your two hands together…

24. 24 And shake hands with your own worst enemy (YOWE)

25. 25 YOWE: When lesser self runs the show and best self stands in the shadow

26. 26 It’s the eternal struggle between Ego and Soul

27. 27 Ego wants things, Soul wants time. Ego wants fame, Soul wants friends.

28. 28 Ego is insecure yet arrogant, Soul is centered yet humble.

29. 29 Ego is concerned about what other people think, Soul is concerned about how others feel.

30. 30 When things go wrong, Ego points a finger, Soul looks in the mirror.

31. 31 Ego complains, Soul gives thanks. The voice of Ego is loud and demanding, the voice of Soul is soft and accepting.

32. 32 Symptoms that YOWE is in charge

33. 33 Wishful thinking replaces positive thinking

34. 34 Wishful thinking is hoping for something and waiting for someone else to make it happen

35. 35 Positive thinking is expecting something and working to make it happen

36. 36 Short-term focus: Having fun vs. being happy

37. 37 Hanging out in your comfort zone

38. 38 Procrastination and Rationalization

39. 39 Focus on self-interest

40. 40 “When Napoleon stopped fighting for France and started fighting for Napoleon, France fall.” Dwight Eisenhower

41. 41 Toxic Emotional Negativity

42. 42 The Victim Spiral

43. 43 Starts with Learned Helplessness

44. 44 Degenerates into Blame Game

45. 45 And descends into Victim Syndrome

46. 46 YOWE makes decisions for the “You” of right now – never for the “You” of the future.

47. 47 No one on then deathbed ever says “I wish I’d watched more television” or “I wish I’d spent more time in the office – or in bars”

48. 48 The four universal end-of- life regrets…

49. 49 Relationships I wish I’d spent more time with family and friends

50. 50 Experiences I wish I’d (started the business, written the book, traveled the world, etc.)

51. 51 Finances I wish I’d spent less and saved more

52. 52 Health If I’d known I was going to live this long I’d have taken better care of myself

53. 53 The Pyramid of Self-Belief

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58. 58 21 Actions for Winning the War with Yourself

59. 59 Action #1 Learn to recognize the voice of YOWE and the lies it will tell

60. 60 Challenge self-limiting assumption about yourself and what is possible

61. 61 You never “can’t” You just can’t yet

62. 62 Confront the malignant echo of negative self-talk – it’s nothing more than mental graffiti

63. 63

65. 65 Employ The Janitor in Your Attic ™ to erase the mental graffiti of negative self-talk.

66. You can rewire the hardware by reprogramming the software!

67. 67 Action #2 Replace self-diminishing labels with accurate descriptions

68. 68 You are not lazy (a self- destructive label – not to mention being a character defect)

69. 69 You have a hard time getting started (a problem that can be solved)

70. 70 Action #3 Replace self-sabotaging metaphors with those that affirm

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74. 74 Action #4 Play the Reporter Game

75. Playing Reporter will help you to…

76. 76 See the world as it is: not as it used to be, as you think it should be, as you wish it were, or as you fear it might become – and…

77. 77 You never have to defend or apologize for things that you didn’t say.

78. 78 Action #5 Don’t pick fights you don’t need

79. 79 Action #6 Focus your dissatisfaction

80. 80 Dissatisfaction can be a great source of energy if you aren’t promiscuous in how you throw it around.

81. 81 Any time you catch yourself whining or complaining, redirect that unhappiness onto the one dissatisfaction that really matters to you.

82. 82 Action #7 Change your trajectory with DDQs (Direction Deflection Question™) DDQ

83. 83 Will what I’m about to do or say help me be my best self?

84. 84 A DDQ is really three questions…

85. 85 Question #1 Who am I when I’m being my best self in any situation?

86. 86 Question #2 Is what I’m about to do or say right now going to help me be that person?

87. 87 Question #3 If not, what would my best self do?

88. 88 The DDQ is infinitely adoptable…

89. DDQ for time Is what I am about to do with my time going to help me achieve my most important goals?

90. 90 DDQ for parenting Will what I’m about to say to my child reflect the parent I want to be?

91. 91 DDQ for money Will what I’m about to spend my hard-earned cash on help me achieve my goal of being debt-free and financially independent?

92. 92 DDQ for health and fitness Will what I’m about to put in my mouth help me achieve my desired physical goals?

93. 93 Two Hints

94. 94 Hint #1 If you don’t hear “No” a lot more than you hear “Yes,” you are probably not being honest with yourself…

95. 95 Hint #2 If the answer to “what would I do?” is more difficult than what you were about to do, it’s almost certainly the right answer

96. 96 Action #8 Change your emotional station with EDQs (Emotion Deflection Questions™) EDQ

97. 97 Is the emotion I’m feeling helpful – if not, what emotion would I want to experience?

98. 98 Visualize yourself changing the station

99. 99 Action #9 Get your body into the act

100. When your body is strong, it will bend to your commands. When your body is weak, you must submit to its demands.

101. Research by Amy Cuddy described in this TED talk shows how body posture has a physiological impact on the mind. this TED talkthis TED talk

102. Cuddy says don’t just fake it till you make it…

103. Fake it till you become it!

104. 104 The other way that your mouth talks to your mind

105. 105 Action #10 Double time yourself

106. 106 Speed and momentum are emotional first, physical second

107. 107 Action #11 Create energy rituals

109. 109 Action #12 Reframe, Rescript, and Rewrite

110. 110 Reframe how you interpret your circumstances

111. 111 Rescript the story of your life

112. PersonalPervasivePermanent

113. 113 Rewrite unhelpful memories from the past

114. 114 The past is what you choose to remember – and how you choose to remember it

115. 115 What do you suppose Mr. Smith meant by this: You will never amount to…

116. 116 What you can learn from the genius prodigies studied of James Hillman

117. 117 Action #13 Dare to not compare

118. 118 You are often comparing your at your worst against someone else at their best…

119. 119 Action #14 Practice the two detachments that earn you two freedoms

120. 120 Detachment from things earns you freedom of movement

121. 121 Detachment from opinions earns you freedom of conscience

122. 122 You will worry a lot less about what other people think of you if you will admit how infrequently they think of you!

123. 123 Action #15 Use Metaphorical Visualization ™ to create early warning mechanisms

124. 124 Preventing temper tantrums

125. 125 Heading off panic attacks

126. 126 Action #16 Be a Dionarap

127. 127 Assume the best. Expect the best.

128. 128 Action #17 Focus your time, energy and resources on things that really matter

129. 129

130. 130 Keep two lists – your daily to-do list and your Big Ticket Items list

131. 131 Action #18 Take the Pickle Challenge ™

133. 133 Action #19 Take to heart the seven simple promise of The Self- Empowerment Pledge ™

134. Joe’s slide show on The Self-Empowerment Pledge Joe’s slide show on The Self-Empowerment Pledge

135. 135 The first 3 promises are the foundation of personal character strength…

136. 136 Monday’s Promise I will take complete responsibility for my health, my happiness, my success, and my life, and will not blame others for my problems or predicaments.

137. 137 Tuesday’s Promise I will not allow low self-esteem, self-limiting beliefs, or the negativity of others to prevent me from achieving my authentic goals and becoming the person I am meant to be.

138. 138 Wednesday’s Promise I will do the things I’m afraid to do but which I know should be done. Sometimes this will mean asking for help to do that which I cannot do by myself.

140. 140 Action #20 Don’t give up on your dreams

141. “Brick walls are not there to stop you, they are there to make you prove how much you want something.” Randy Pausch: The Last Lecture

142. 142 Action #21 Carry on an imaginary conversation with the person you will be at age 65

143. 143 Ask that future “you” what the you of today can do to make his or her life more comfortable and secure.

144. 144 You will probably hear a very clear answer that is almost certain to include…

145. 145 Spend less and save more

146. 146 Watch less TV and get more exercise

147. 147 Spend less time with email and more time with real people

148. 148 Follow your dreams wherever they lead

149. 149 And a Bonus Strategy Turn Pro

150. 150 Coming up next…

151. 151 Next webinar – Thursday, February 7 Free Bonus Item: eBook edition of Designing the Invisible Architecture of Your Organization Included in Bundle #2

152. 152 Next webinar – March (Date TBD) Free Bonus Items: The Janitor in Your Attic Audios: Morning Motivation and Evening Meditation Included in Bundle #1

153. 153 Two Values Coach webinar bundles – one for you and one for your organization. Webinar Bundle Website Webinar Bundle Website