1. Nonverbal Communication
“The World Beyond Words”
Language is very powerful and important, but we actually get most of our info from nonverbals

2. What is Nonverbal Communication?
“Messages expressed by nonlinguistic means.”
Includes silent behaviors, environment, artifacts, and vocal intonation
Is a powerful mode of communication
Counseling sessions in Spanish
Let’s do an experiment in nonverbal cmmu to start us off… Emotions charades. Chocolate!
Guess emotions portrayed.

3. Characteristics/Principles of Nonverbal Communication

4. All Behavior has Communicative Value
Because we “cannot not communicate”
May be intentional, but is often unconscious
Although we’re always sending messages through our nonverbals, these messages aren’t always received.
We especially pay attention to nonverbals when they contradict verbal communication.
Can’t turn off our communication
Don’t tend to think about what we’re transmitting
Don’t tend to consciously attend to people’s nonverbals
We really pay attention when they don’t match verbals (e.g., “What’s wrong?”, “Nothing” but they have clenched fists, are avoiding eye contact, and have tight jaw).

5. Nonverbal Communication is Primarily Relational
Responsiveness
Communicates our interest in others’ communication
Women are generally more responsive than men
People in lower-power positions tend to be better at reading nonverbals
Liking – Positive or negative feelings about others
Power
Touch
Violence and Abuse
Space
Silence
Dimensions of relational level of nonverbal cmmu
Responsiveness
People w/ lower power in our society tend to be more attuned to nonverbals (e.g., women, minorities, even prisoners – might notice this w/ teacher/student or boss/employee interactions)

6. (A little more about the relational nature of nonverbals)
Nonverbals are especially important:
For identity management
In defining our relationships (e.g., level of intimacy)
For expressing emotions we don’t want to express, can’t express, or don’t know we’re feeling
Smiling and nodding, having attentive behaviors, sitting up straight and making eye contact during an interview (I am attentive, friendly, confident, etc.)
Do you hug your friends or pat them on the back? Are there some you hug or don’t hug (pat on the back or don’t pat on the back)?
Demonstration? A tell B about your weekend

7. Nonverbal Communication is Ambiguous
The same nonverbal can have multiple meanings
For example:
“I’m feeling content” smiles
“I’m feeling a little stressed” smiles
“I’m a bit sad” smiles
“I can’t believe you just did that” smiles
“How do I get out of this conversation?” smiles

8. Nonverbal Communication Reflects Cultural Values
Some Examples…
Space
Americans tend to value more personal space than many other cultures
Men tend to value more personal space than women
Touch (Knapp, 1972)
Americans – 2 touches per hour
British – 0 touches per hour
Parisians – 110 touches per hour
Puerto Ricans – 180 touches per hour
Eye-Contact
In North-America: frankness, assertiveness, honesty
In many Asian and northern-European countries: abrasive & disrespectful
In Brazil: more intense eye-contact is the norm
Another reason nonverbals are ambiguous is that different cultures have different rules about nonverbals

10. Nonverbal Communication – (Continued)
Tuesday:
What nonverbal cmmu is – messages expressed by nonlinguistic means
And some characteristics of nonverbal cmmu
Today:
Functions of nonverbal cmmu, different types, and some suggestions for improving our nonverbal cmmu

11. The Interplay Between Verbal and Nonverbal Communication
Repeating
Your nonverbals simply repeat what you’ve said
Substituting
Your nonverbals replace language
Emblems (e.g., nodding)
Complementing & Accenting
Your nonverbals add depth and meaning to your language
Illustrators/Affect displays
Regulating
Your nonverbals help regulate the conversation
Contradicting
You say one thing, but your nonverbals say another
E.g., I’m looking for a box that’s about 2’ x 2’ x 2’
“How did you do on your test?” A little smirk, or a sigh
Usually unconscious – smiling, frowning, raising your eyebrows, etc.
Vocal intonation, eye-contact – look when we’re listening, but not much when we’re talking
Contradicting = mixed messages; “I’m not worried” while being wide-eyed and wringing your hands; “Of course I love you” while checking out other people; “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” Or can do it to be polite, nonverbally say you’re not interested.

12. Deception
Nonverbals are under less conscious control, so deception is more likely to be revealed through our nonverbals.
High self-monitors and people who have lots of practice in deception are most successful at it.
Women tend to be better at detecting deception.
“Deceivers” tend to make more speech errors, to hesitate, to have higher vocal pitch, to fidget, blink their eyes more, and shift their posture more.
Deceive others to attain our own goals, to be polite, other various reasons

13. Different Types of Nonverbal Communication

14. Face and Eyes
What’s might be going on in these 2 pictures? Can you tell what emotions the woman is experiencing? What tells you that?

15. Face and Eyes Over 1000 distinct facial expressions
Eyes can be especially expressive
“Windows to the soul”
Men and women have been found to be equally expressive
Men show the most emotion in the lower left quadrant of their face
Women show emotion over their whole face
Eyes can really communicate interest
One study w/ infants found that infants became terrified if they couldn’t see their moms’ eyes, but weren’t bothered if other parts of her face were covered up
UF study from about a year ago (also language functions in left hemisphere vs. all over)
Our faces tell * a lot* Gottman research:
Found a specific facial expression for contempt (lip corners to the side, eyes rolled upward glance)
A certain # of these expressions by husbands on a videotape predicted their wives’ infectious illnesses over the next 4 years

16. Body Movement/Kinesics
Body posture
Gestures
Manipulators/Fidgeting
An aside…
What are you doing right now? What does your posture suggest? Are you fidgeting?
Hunched over or upright, arms crossed or open
Raising your hand in class, waving, shrugging, etc.
Twirling your hair, rubbing your shoulder
An aside…
Research on assault
Many criminals are good at reading nonverbals
Chose victims whose body movement suggested passivity
Suggestion: walk confidently, hold your head upright, meet others’ eyes w/o staring, don’t appear unsure or lost, especially if you are.

17. Touch Touching is considered essential and therapeutic
Touching can influence liking and compliance
Is used to show intimacy or power/control
People with high status touch others/invade others’ spaces more than people with lower status

18. Voice/Paralanguage
Consists of vocal tone, speed, pitch, volume, number and length of pauses, and disfluencies (“um”s, “ah”s), etc.
Paralanguage tends to be more powerful than language
Affects how other’s perceive us
Stereotyping (e.g., accents, vocabulary, grammar
Influenced by culture, gender, class (intentionally or unintentionally)
An illustration…

19. Try saying “You love me” to convey the following meanings:
You really do? I hadn’t realized that.
That ploy won’t work. I told you we’re through.
You couldn’t possibly love me after what you did!
Me? I’m the one you love?
You? I didn’t think you loved anyone.

20. Silence
Can communicate contentment, awkwardness, anger, respect, thoughtfulness, empathy
Can also be disconfirming
A lot of good can come out of silence (e.g., with counseling)
“The silent treatment” as if you’re not there – can be very hurtful

21. Space/Proxemics Personal Space Intimate distance Personal distance
Social distance
Public distance
Barrier behaviors and territory
You are here
Personal space bubble
Intimate (body to 18”) In our personal space, only those who are really close to us – trust
Personal (18”-4’) implies intimacy
Social (4’-12’) acquaintances, business
Public (12’ and beyond) public speaking
Barrier behaviors = backing up, putting something between us, breaking eye contact
Territory = geographical space belonging to us (your room, your bed, your apartment, etc.)
We give more personal space and more territory to people with higher status/more power

22. Time/Chronemics Our use of time reflects: Power/status Cultural norms
Expectations
Interpersonal priorities

23. Physical Appearance “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”
We tend to notice obvious things first (gender, race), then note attractiveness
Physically attractive people generally are perceived better
Importance placed on physical appearance can be very damaging
It’s what we do with it that’s most important

24. Artifacts
Include clothing, jewelry, personal belongings, accessories, etc.
Communicate economic level, educational level, trustworthiness, social position, level of sophistication, economic background, social background, educational background, level of success, moral character, masculinity/femininity
Important part of first impressions
Women’s clothes tend to send the message of being decorative, while men’s clothes tend to be more functional

25. Environment Communicates something about you
We surround ourselves with things that are important/meaningful to us
Use artifacts to define our territory
Can influence interactions
How people use an environment communicates something about them
My office
How chairs are placed, how cold/warm it is, how dark/light it is
Do you sit down right next to people, avoid others, 2 at a table for 4 (sit next to or across from each other?)

26. Some Guidelines for Improving Nonverbal Communication

27. Monitor Your Nonverbal Communication
Be Tentative When Interpreting Others’ Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbals are personal and ambiguous
Personal Qualifications:
Take responsibility for your interpretations
Use “I” language to check your perceptions of nonverbals
Contextual Qualifications:
Be aware of how the context might be influencing others’ nonverbals
Be aware of how different cultural norms might influence others’ nonverbals
Be careful not to jump to conclusions based on your own cultural norms
* Not so much faking nonverbals, but being aware of them. What are your nonverbals telling you? (If your arms are crossed, how come? If you find yourself frowning, are you feeling sad?) And are your nonverbals conveying how you really feel? (E.g., not looking at a significant other when they’re talking, but you really do care about them)