1. Working Through Conflict: Metaphors
Craig Engstrom, Ph.D. | craigengstrom.ninja |

2. Survey Results (NOTE: PROVIDE IF DID SURVEY IN Advance)
13% Avoidance
22% Competitive
35% Compromise
6% Accommodation
24% Collaboration
13% Avoidance
22% Competitive
35% Compromise
6% Accommodation
24% Collaboration

3. Learning/Training Objectives
Explain the relationship between communication and conflict outcomes
Explain the relationship between language (metaphors used) and workplace culture
List five conflict styles and list collaborative tactics
Practice changing talk to change culture to change conflict outcomes

4. Favorite Quote
“Sometimes to win the relationship, you have to lose the conflict.” – Jerry Spence

5. What is Conflict?
“Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals.” – Wilmot & Hocker (2013), p. 34
Wilmot, W. W., & Hocker, J. L. (2013). Interpersonal conflict (9th ed.). Boston: McGraw Hill.

6. What is Conflict?
“Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals.” – Wilmot & Hocker (2013), p. 34
Wilmot, W. W., & Hocker, J. L. (2013). Interpersonal conflict (9th ed.). Boston: McGraw Hill.

7. Communication & Conflict
Communication behavior often creates conflict
Communication behavior reflects conflict
Communication is the vehicle for the productive or destructive management of conflict

8. What are common causes of workplace conflict?
Discuss
Create list

9. Top Causes of Conflict in the Workplace
Personality differences
Taking time off
Non-compliance with Rules and Policies
Borrowing money
Romance
Misunderstandings
Saying “no” too quickly
Competition
Not showing up

10. Key Points
Conflict tactics and styles matter
How we speak shapes context
Culture frames conflict, but we can reframe

11. STYLES/TACTICS High concern for self = Assertive CONCERN FOR SELF
CONCERN FOR OTHER
Low concern for self =
Unassertive
Low concern for other =
Uncooperative
High concern for other =
Cooperative
Thomas-Kilmann

15. Avoiding
Theirs

16. Competing
Yours

17. Accomodating
Yours
Theirs

18. Accommodating
Theirs
Yours

19. Collaborating

20. A B

21. Thomas-Kilmann

22. Survey Results 13% Avoidance 22% Competitive 35% Compromise
6% Accommodation
24% Collaboration
13% Avoidance
22% Competitive
35% Compromise
6% Accommodation
24% Collaboration

23. Talk Matters
Metaphors
Conversation
Reframing

24. Types of metaphors
Negative
Neutral
Positive

25. Negative metaphors Conflict is warlike and violent
Conflict is explosive
Conflict is a trial
Conflict is a struggle
Conflict is an act of nature
Conflict is animal behavior
Conflict is a mess

26. Negative Metaphors
Your criticism is right on target.
The jury’s still out on that one.
I feel beaten down.
You’re accusing me.
I just retreat when…
I got all swept up.
Larry’s got a short fuse.
Let’s not open that can of worms.
I just need to let off steam.

27. Neutral Metaphors
Conflict is a game.
Conflict is a heroic adventure.
Conflict is a balancing act.

28. Neutral Metaphors
I struck out.
We got lucky.
We tossed ideas back and forth.
You’re up to bat.
Let’s be team players.
False moves, delicate balancing act, and tip the scales in my favor.

29. Positive Metaphors
Conflict is a bargaining table.
Conflict is a tide.
Conflict is a dance.
Conflict is a garden.

30. Positive metaphors Let’s resolve this diplomatically.
Let’s table this for another day.
Let’s turn the tide (or page).
Let’s stop dancing around, let’s talk.
I hope this new idea takes root.
We’ve planted the seeds for change.
Surfs up!

31. Conversations >> Practice
Case Study (e.g., “Crucial Conversations”)
Scenarios (Practice) >> Always, wait to respond
Discuss scenarios and strategies
Challenge: Speak in positive metaphors for a few days
Plant the context you want to harvest.