1. Chapter 6 Writing Process Phase 3: Revise, Proofread, Evaluate
Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e
Mary Ellen Guffey Copyright © 2008

2. Revise for Clarity, Conciseness, and Readability
Keep it simple.
Keep it conversational.
Remove opening fillers.
Eliminate redundancies.
Reduce compound prepositions.
Purge empty words.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

3. Revise for Clarity, Conciseness, and Readability
Kick the noun habit.
Dump trite “business” phrases.
Develop parallelism (balanced construction).
Apply graphic highlighting.
Measure readability.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

4. Keep it Simple Avoid indirect, pompous language.
Foggy: It would not be inadvisable for you to affix your signature at this point in time.
Clear: You may sign now.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

5. Keep it Conversational
Use natural, familiar language.
Formal: Our accounting department takes pleasure in informing you that we have credited your account for the aforementioned sum of $100.
Conversational: We’re happy to credit your account for $100.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

6. Remove Opening Fillers
Avoid wordiness.
Wordy: There are four menu items we must promote.
Concise: We must promote four new menu items.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

7. Eliminate Redundancies
Say it only once!
collect together
contributing factor
past history
basic fundamentals
personal opinion
perfectly clear
unexpected surprise
few in number
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

8. Reduce Compound Prepositions
Say it more concisely.
at such time, at which time
at this point in time
due to the fact that, inasmuch as
at a later date
despite the fact that
when
now
because
later
although
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

9. Purge Empty Words Unclutter your sentences.
As for the field of athletic shoes, the degree of profits sagged.
This is to inform you that we have a toll- free service line.
Not all members who are registered will attend the conference.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

10. Purge Empty Words Unclutter your sentences.
As for the field of athletic shoes, the degree of profits sagged.
This is to inform you that we have a toll- free service line.
Not all members who are registered will attend the conference.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

11. Purge Empty Words Unclutter your sentences.
As for athletic shoes, profits sagged.
We have a toll-free service line.
Not all registered members will attend the conference.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

12. Kick the Noun Habit Use simple, dynamic verbs.
conduct an investigation of
give consideration to
make a decision about
perform an analysis of
take action
investigate
consider
decide
analyze
act
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

13. Dump Trite “Business” Phrases
Eliminate stale, puffed-up expressions.
as per your suggestion
pursuant to your request
enclosed please find
please feel free to call
thank you in advance
as you suggested
as you requested
enclosed is
please call
thank you
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

14. Dump Trite “Business” Phrases
Eliminate stale, puffed-up expressions.
Trite: Pursuant to your request, enclosed please find a job application.
Improved: As requested, we have enclosed a job application.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

15. Develop Parallel Expression
Express similar ideas in balanced, matching constructions.
Not parallel: We can collect information, store it, and it can also be updated.
Parallel: We can collect, store, and update information.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

16. Develop Parallel Expression
Express similar ideas in balanced, matching constructions.
Not parallel: She is conscientious, a hard worker, and pays attention to detail.
Parallel: She is conscientious, hard-working, and detail-oriented.
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

17. Proofreading: What to Watch for
Spelling
Grammar
Punctuation
Names and Numbers
Format
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

18. Basic Proofreading Marks
Insert
Insert space
Insert punctuation
Insert period
Start paragraph
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

19. Evaluating: What to Ask
How successful will the message be?
Does it say what you want it to?
Will it achieve its purpose?
How will you know whether it succeeds?
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e

20. End
Mary Ellen Guffey, Business Communication: Process and Product, 6e