3 Love as the foundationYou may truly love your child but unless she/he feels it they will not feel loved.Every child has an emotional tank, a place of emotional strength that can fuel them now and in the future.By speaking your child’s own love language you can fill his “emotional tank” with love.
4 The 5 Love Languages Physical Touch Words of Affirmation Quality Time GiftsActs of Service
5 Remember Every child has their own special way of perceiving love. No child can receive too much appropriate unconditional loveYour children will sense how you feel about them by how you behave toward them.
7 Physical Touch Physical touch is one of love’s strongest voices. Studies have found that most parents only touch when necessaryAll children need to be touchedA hug given before a child leaves for school could be the difference between emotional security and insecurity through the day.p. 32
8 Physical TouchKeep filling the love tank even if your child isn’t showing signs they need itIn pre-adolescent and adolescence you must keep touchingBe intentional about physical touchp. 38 Father’s touching their daughters
9 Loving through physical touch Snuggle while watching tv togetherHug and kiss your child every day before and after school and as you tuck them into bed.Give high fivesPlay games that require physical touchp. 44 with more ideas. Let them brainstorm some ideas.
11 Words of AffirmationWords of affirmation goes beyond just saying “I love you”If you use praise too frequently, your words will have little positive effect.The word encourage literally means “to instill courage”The greatest enemy of encouraging is is anger.The volume of your voice matters greatlyp.50
12 Words of AffirmationBe careful not to give the right message in the wrong manner.ie. Yelling “stop screaming and yelling at your brother”Your words are very important and help shape your childBe intentional“Parenting is not just a matter of doing what comes naturally”
13 Loving through words of affirmation Put a note in your child’s lunchMention specific moments you’ve observed that highlight your child’s accomplishmentsCreate a special nickname for your childSay, “I love you”p.59 more ideas
15 Quality Time “He does things with me” Quality time is focused, undivided attention.Quality time is a parent’s gift of presence to a child.You don’t necessarily have to go anywhereUse eye contact
16 Quality TimeQuality time is not just doing things together, it’s a time for knowing your child betterChildren never outgrow the need for quality conversations with parents and adults.
17 Loving through quality time Stop what your doing when your child is telling you something important and make eye contact with them.Ask specific questions about your child’s dayTake family walks and bike rides together.Share meals as a familyp.74
19 Gifts Other love languages must be given along with a gift A true gift is not a payment for services rendered, it is an expression of love for the individualIf we do not present gifts as expressions of love, children may learn to receive them as “what is to be expected”
20 Gifts Be careful not to abuse gift-giving Parents and grandparents may need to give less rather than more, carefully choosing gifts that will be meaningful.Not all gifts must come from a store
21 Loving through gift giving Make a meal you know your child likes.Give your child a special song.Create a “secret drawer” where your child can keep her small “treasures”- anything from a bird feather to a pack of gum.Hide a small gift in your child’s lunch box.p. 88
23 Acts of ServiceThe day you found out you would have a child you enrolled into full-time service.What would most please your children at the moment is likely not the best way to express your love.As you express acts of service to your children you are setting a model.
24 Acts of ServiceLoving service is an internally motivated desire to give one’s energy to others.Do an attitude check every now and then to be sure that your acts of service are communicating love.
25 Loving through acts of service help your children practice for their sports teamBegin teaching your child the importance of serving other through regular involvement together in a local community group or church ministry.Create flash cards for your child’s upcoming test or quizp.105
26 Finding your child’s love language It takes timeKids are constantly growing and shiftingChildren need all love languages to fill their love tankObserve how your child expresses loveListen to what your child requests most often
27 Finding your child’s love language Notice what your child frequently complains aboutGive your child a choice between two optionsBe multi-lingual