1. Chapter 8: Peer Relationships

2. During adolescence, you continue to develop your identity which is influenced by many factors.
Peers are people of similar age who share similar interests.
Friendships
Similar values, interests, beliefs, and attitudes
open and honest communication
Sharing of joys, disappointments, dreams, and concerns
Mutual respect, caring, and support
Concern about each other’s safety and well being

3. Types of friendships
Casual- someone with whom you share interests but not deep emotional bonds
Close-strong emotional ties, share thoughts and feelings
Platonic-involves a member of the opposite sex in which there is affection, but the two people are not considered a couple
Online-rewarding because you get to know people from all over the world and all walks of life
Don’t share personal information
Don’t offer your phone number or street address
Never arrange a face to face
Always tell a trusted adult if an online friend suggest you do some thing that makes you feel uncomfortable

4. Building Strong Friendships are based on:
Mutual respect
Caring
Honesty
Commitment
Additional traits include:
Empathy
Fairness
Shared interests
Acceptance
Support
loyalty
Recognizing Problems in Friendships
Cliques- small group of friends who exclude people

5. Complete Health Skills Activity on page 197
Managing feelings of envy or jealousy
Ask the following:
What is making me feel jealous?
Is my friend deliberately trying to make me feel this way?
What can I do to manage or reduce these feelings? How can I feel better about myself?
Are these feelings of jealousy more important than our friendship?
What positive qualities make this person a good friend?
When Friendships Change
Pressure to do something that is unsafe or against your beliefs
Saying hurtful and insulting things
Constantly tries to get you to change your beliefs or actions
Complete Health Skills Activity on page 197

6. Peer Pressure and Refusal Skills
Peer Pressure- influence that people your age may have on you
Positive peer pressure
Negative peer pressure- may involve harassment or persistently annoying others. May include hurtful behavior, name calling, teasing, or bullying. Manipulation is another component used indirectly and dishonestly to control or influence other people.
Common Methods of Manipulation
Making threats
Guilt trips
Bribing
Blackmail
Bargaining
Mocking or teasing
Flattery

7. Gallery Walk 1. 4. 3. 2. 5.

8. Assertive Refusal Skills- These are strategies that will help you say no when you are urged to take part in behaviors that are unsafe or unhealthy, or that go against your values.
State you position-State your position simply and firmly. Make sure you really mean it. Give an honest reason for your response, it could be as simple as “It goes against my values.” Offering a legitimate reason helps to strengthen your refusal.
Suggest Alternatives- By offering an alternative, you create an opportunity to spend time with your friend in a way that makes you comfortable.
Stand your ground- Make it clear that you mean what you said, use strong body language and maintain eye contact. If this doesn’t work, remove your self from the situation.

9. Practicing Abstinence Dating- What is dating nowadays?
Some people may not feel it is time to date because of their priorities.
These are the goals, tasks, values, and activities that you judge to be more important than others.
Develop healthful dating expectations by keeping the following in mind:
You and your date deserve to be treated with consideration and respect
By yourself and communicate your thoughts and feelings honestly
Never feel pressured to do anything that goes against your values or family’s values
Set limits
Abstinence
Choosing to not have sexual activity and by doing this you are taking responsibility for your well being.
Intimacy
A closeness between 2 people that develops over time.

10. (defined as exaggerated feelings of passion) often confused with love
How do you tell the difference between love and infatuation?
Infatuation
(defined as exaggerated feelings of passion) often confused with love
Group Assignment:
Each person in the group will have a job: reader, reporter, time keeper, presenter.
Read the following story and answer the questions as a group. Be ready to share out. You have 15 minutes to complete this task.

11. Maria and Tony have been known each other for quite a while and have just started dating. Maria is so excited about Tony; it’s all she talks about. She is ready for full commitment and feels that this is it – he’s the one. Tony on the other hand, sees this as a casual dating relationship. He wants to meet and date other girls in the future. Maria is just someone to hang out with and have fun. Tony hears from a friend that Maria is very serious about this relationship and has plans for it to remain intact for years to come. She begins calling Tony frequently and becomes jealous when he wants to spend time with his guy friends. Tony starts feeling smothered in this relationship, but doesn’t know how to tell Maria that he’s just not that serious about her. He doesn’t want to hurt her feelings or get her angry.
1. Where is this relationship headed?
2. Do you think this couple has potential?
3. What is the biggest issue for this couple?
4. List some things that might happen if Maria and Tony become sexual in their relationship?
5. If Maria knew that Tony was not that serious, or that his view of a long-term relationship was 6 months to a year, do you think she would have sex with him anyway?
6. Thirty-three percent of U.S. girls get pregnant by age 20. What if Maria became pregnant? Go down the en- tire path of what might happen next? (e.g. what might happen first, then what might happen, then what might happen after that, etc. )
7. What is the likelihood that either Maria or Tony could contract an STI? How would that affect their relationship?
8. How might Maria’s relationship with her parents affect her relationship with Tony?

12. Complete the REAL WORLD CONNECTION on page 207
Skills for practicing abstinence
Requires planning and self control which is the ability to use responsibility to override emotions.
Set limits for expressing affection
Communicate with your partner
Talk with a trusted adult
Seek low pressure dating situations
Date someone who respects and shares your values
Avoid risky situations where alcohol and other drugs are present
Avoid being home alone with a date or in an isolated situations
Complete the REAL WORLD CONNECTION on page 207

13. Consequences of Abstinence
Abstinence from sexual activity has a positive effect on all sides of your health triangle.
Physical Health- the only form of birth control that is 100% successful. Aside from unplanned pregnancies, there is also a reduced risk of sexually transmitted infections.
Emotional/Mental Health-teens who engage in sexual activity before reaching emotional maturity run the risk of
Being hurt because partners are not committed as in a marital relationship
Guilt because teens are usually not truthful to their parents about being sexually active
Loss of self respect because sexual activity goes against personal and family values
Regret and anxiety, if sexual activity results in an unplanned pregnancy or an STI
Social Health-Parents may express disappointment and worry, teens who engage in sexual activity may not pursue other interests or friendships. Due to unplanned pregnancies teen parents may face many challenges

14. Using Refusal Skills to Say No to Peer Pressure
Remember that honest communication with your dating partner will help you to stay committed to abstinence.
Using Refusal Skills to Say No to Peer Pressure
Just like anything practice makes perfect. Practicing these skills will help you resist the pressure to engage in sexual activity
Pressure Line
Your response
Everybody does it
No. Not everybody is doing it
I thought you were cool
I am cool, and the answer is still no
No one will know
I’ll know, and I’m the one who matters
If you loved me, you’d do it
If you loved me, you’d respect my decision
For Homework please complete Chapter 8
review on pages , 1-34, answers only.