1. EFFECTIVE LISTENING AND RESPONDING
Subtitle

2. PROCESS OF LISTENING HEARING ATTENDING UNDERSTANDING RESPONDING
REMEMBERING

3. ATTENDING PAYING ATTENTION (PHYSICALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY)
PHYSICAL ATTENDING * (S)- SQUARE * (O)- OPEN * (L)- LEAN IN * (E)- EYE CONTACT * (R)- RELAXED POSTURE

4. ATTENDING
PSYCHOLOGICAL ATTENDING * CLARIFYING (PARAPHRASING) * DEMONSTRATION OF EMPATHY * PAYING ATTENTION TO NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION * PAYING ATTENTION TO INCONGRUENCIES * READING BETWEEN THE LINES

5. WAYS TO RESPOND ADVISING/EVALUATING ANALYZING/INTERPRETING
REASSURING/SUPPORTING
QUESTIONING/PROBING
PARAPHRASING W/UNDERSTANDING

6. RESPONDING WITH UNDERSTANDING
LISTENING TO TOTAL COMMUNICATION
IDENTIFICATION OF FEELINGS AND EXPERIENCES THAT GIVE RISE TO THOSE FEELINGS
COMMUNICATING YOUR UNDERSTANDING
RESPONDING WITH EMPATHY

7. IT IS NOT: EVALUATING JUDGING CHALLENGING ADVISING INTERPRETING
PARROTING

8. POOR SUBSTITUTES CLICHES “UH-HUH” RESPONSES (PSEUDO LISTENING)
PRETENDING TO UNDERSTAND
IGNORING
LONG-WINDEDNESS
ASKING A MULTITUDE OF QUESTIONS
ADVICE GIVING

9. DEMONSTRATION OF EMPATHY
ABILITY TO PROJECT SELF INTO ANOTHER PERSON’S POINT OF VIEW IN ORDER TO EXPERIENCE THE OTHER PERSON’S THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS.
BEING COMPASSIONATE
BEING GENUINE
BEING RESPECTFUL
RESPONDING WITH UNDERSTANDING (PARAPHRASING AND REFLECTION OF FEELING)

10. PARAPHRASING TO CLARIFY
USE OF A LEAD IN * I’M HEARING YOU SAY… * IT SOUNDS LIKE …
REPEATING BACK THE GIST (NOT PARROTING) OF THE CONTENT OF WHAT THE PERSON SAID * I’M HEARING YOU SAY THAT YOU DAY WAS BUSY WITH WORK AND SCHOOL.

11. REFLECTION OF FEELING TO DEMONSTRATE EMPATHY
A LOT LIKE A PARAPHRASE BUT INCLUDES THE FEELING AS WELL AS THE CONTENT OF WHAT WAS SAID.
FORMULA: YOU FEEL ___________ BECAUSE ___________.
“IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE FEELING SAD BECAUSE YOUR FRIEND MOVED AWAY LAST WEEK.”
“I’M HEARING YOU SAY THAT YOUR FEELING ANGRY THAT YOUR BOSS CRITICIZED YOUR WORK TODAY.”
“MY SENSE IS THAT YOU’RE FEELING DISAPPOINTED THAT YOU DIDN’T GET THE PROMOTION YOU WERE EXPECTING.”
“BECAUSE OF YOUR GETTING THIS NEW JOB, YOU’RE FEELING EXCITED.”