1. ORC – Universal/Preventive Interventions(Part-2)
PARENTING
ORC – Universal/Preventive Interventions(Part-2)
Our Responsibility to Children Resilient Minds, Empowered Children

2. Learning objectives Why just academic performance is not enough
2. What is the need for understanding about parenting?
3. An ideal parent
4. Various parenting styles
5. Parenting tips

3. STORY OF THREE VILLAGE MOTHERS

4. WE ARE = PART OF FATHER + PART OF MOTHER + PART OF WHAT WE LEARN FROM EXPERIENCES (PARENTING)

5. For parents who ask why should we know about parenting?
Imagine 2 plants brought from the same nursery. They will grow even if nothing is done. But growing with side risings and protection will make the difference in the final outcome.

6. Responsibilities of an ideal parent
Psychological development of children
Preparing him for the society
Help him to develop independently
Help him with life skills
Improve emotional attachment
Help him transform into a good human being

8. Instinctive parenting
Most common type
Using moment to moment instincts
No rules or patterns
Own experiences as a child
Influenced by how our parents raised us
Eg: consistently serves porridge for breakfast because it was a staple in their own childhood.
Should not talk while having food

9. Attachment parenting
Extended baby wearing, bed sharing and extended breast feeding.
Child’s independence is delayed
Not letting the child know parents sufferings
Love= I will make available whatever you want

10. Authoritarian Parent Too hard type Working class families
Very rigid and strict
Rigid set of rules that are strictly enforced
If broken PUNISHMENTS
If child questions, usual response “Because I said so”
Less cheerful and moody children

11. Permissive parenting
Too soft style
More in middle class families
Child’s freedom and autonomy are over valued
Parents undemanding
Little or no punishments
No structure at home
Promotes instant gratification
Some grand parents

12. Permissive parenting

13. Uninvolved parenting Neglectful type
Emotionally and sometimes even physically absent
May provide child’s material needs With little engagement
Fall victim for another child’s deviant behaviour
Parents with ADS/ suspiciousness towards wife/ post divorce/ illness

14. HELICOPTER PARENTING Hovering above Constant supervision and advice
Do homework, help in projects, solve Maths.
Make sure their kids have every advantage
Children become dependent/poor decision making skills
Lack of confidence, poor coping skills to stressors

15. Incubator parenting Pushing kids too early
Chess classes from kindergarten
Karate classes before learning to walk
Keeps pushing from preschool to professional entrance exam
Only look at the results and not at the means
Marks more than morals
Children always stressed and anxious

16. Authoritative Parenting
Best: Neither Hard nor soft type
Rely on positive reinforcements
Less on punishments
Supports and promotes child’s freedom and autonomy within reasonable limits

18. Parenting Tips

19. 3 to 5 Years Children love ATTENTION!!!!
Children living in the present moment
Enough play time
Playing with your child
Encourage children play with other child
Encourage social plays
Give simple directions

20. Do not listen to the child

21. UNHEALTHY EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENTS
Children love attention the most – Harlow
More attention from elsewhere
Unhealthy attachments develop outside family

22. Avoid Punishments Only suppress not eliminate
Show them its OK to hurt some one
Physical punishment are also influenced by mood
Example showing progress reports during India-Pak final
Kessler et al. found that physical aggression from the father was associated with a more than doubling of the rates of conduct disorder.

23. Non Physical punishments

24. Rewards instead of punishments

25. Rules of Punishment & Rewarding
Consistent
Immediately following the behaviour
Shorter frequent rewards are better

26. 6 to 10 years Age when they understand others view points
Understand from others perspective
Learn from observing others
Learn from experience not from lectures
Continue to ensure discipline
Use positive reinforcement and rewards
Continue to have food together

27. Children learn by doing: City Pride School, Pune
To teach children something new you have to give them an experience
Works better than lecture

28. 11 to 15 years Character formation important
Give attention to children
Emotional attachment
Listen to all their experiences
Always be available: Encourage their talk
Like a friend: can share without fear
Make them good decision makers
Understand their friends

29. Healthy emotional relationship within family?
Children observe/follow adult behaviour
Avoid arguments between members in front of children- maximum agreement in decisions
Good emotional relationship between family members
Never say bad things about other near/distant members in the family (forgive & forget)
Give small responsibilities to children and ENCOURAGE
Treat other members with dignity
Talk to the child when alone why his father/grandparent is special and important to the family
Avoid physical punishment
Be a good listener: Encourage children to express opinions

30. Improving Resilience Give small responsibilities from childhood
Praise when succeeds
Learning from failures: discuss- look for causes- support- reattempt- encouragement
Show them others sufferings
Never criticize for silly reasons in front of others
Never make a comparison
Give encouragement to small success than criticizing large failures

31. Take home messages
Academic achievement is not more important than character development
A child is genetically identical to its parents, but what makes him different is Parenting
Children need your ATTENTION most, not gifts
Give children more attention than anyone else
Avoid Punishments
Be a friend with whom your child can share ANYTHING!
Avoid UNHEALTHY parenting styles
Give small RESPONSIBILITIES
Let them FACE FAILURES
Let them SEE SUFFERINGS-HELP others - JOY OF SHARING

32. “CHARACTER IS WHAT YOU HAVE LEFT
WHEN YOU’VE LOST EVERYTHING YOU CAN LOSE IN LIFE”