1. Interpersonal Communication and Self
Chapter 2
Interpersonal Communication and Self
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2. Learning Objectives After reading this chapter, you should be able to:
2.1 Define self-concept and identify factors that shape the development of your self-concept. 2.2 Define self-esteem and compare and contrast self-esteem with self-concept. 2.3 Define facework and discuss how you project your face and protect others’ face. 2.4 Identify and describe seven strategies for improving your self-concept. 2.5 Identify the effects of your self-concept and self-esteem on your relationships with others.

3. Self-Concept: Who You Think You Are (1 of 10) 2
Self-Concept: Who You Think You Are (1 of 10) 2.1 Define self-concept and identify the factors that shape the development of your self-concept.
Self-Concept: Who You Think You Are
The labels you use to describe yourself are part of your self and your self-concept, and they are changeable.
Self
Self-concept
Self: the sum total of who a person is; a person’s central inner force
Self-concept: a person’s subjective description of who he or she is

4. Self-Concept: Who You Think You Are (2 of 10)
Attitudes, Beliefs, and Values Reflect Your Self-Concept
Attitude, beliefs and values are learned constructs.
They shape your behavior and self-image.
They often function independently of each other.
Figure 2.1 Values, Beliefs, and Attitudes in Relation to Self
Attitude: the learned predisposition to respond to a person, object, or idea in a favorable or unfavorable way
Belief: the way in which you structure your understanding of reality—what is true and what is false for you
Value: enduring concept of good and bad, right and wrong

5. Self-Concept: Who You Think You Are (3 of 10)
Mindfulness: Being Consciously Aware
Being self-aware involves mindfulness.
There are 3 ways of being mindfully self-aware.
Subjective self-awareness
Objective self-awareness
Symbolic self-awareness
Mindfulness: the ability to consciously think about what you are doing and experiencing
Subjective self-awareness: the ability to differentiate the self from the social and physical environment
Objective self-awareness: the ability to be the object of one’s own thoughts and attention—to be aware of one’s state of mind and what one is thinking
Symbolic self-awareness: the uniquely human ability to think about oneself and use language (symbols) to represent oneself to others

6. Self-Concept: Who You Think You Are (4 of 10)
Mindfulness: Being Consciously Aware (continued)
Maslow’s four-stage model
Unconscious incompetence
Conscious incompetence
Conscious competence
Unconscious competence
Unconscious incompetence: you are unaware of your own incompetence
Conscious incompetence: you become aware that you are not competent
Conscious competence: you are aware that you know something, but applying it has not yet become a habit
Unconscious competence: your skills become second nature to you

7. Self-Concept: Who You Think You Are (5 of 10)
The artist sought to explore her self- dimensions by painting her self-portrait. What qualities does this self- portrait reveal about the artist?
Young woman standing next to a large painting self portrait.

8. Self-Concept: Who You Think You Are (6 of 10)
One or Many Selves?
Each of us has a core set of behaviors, attitudes, beliefs and values, but our concept of self changes.
Material self
Social self
Spiritual self
Material self: concepts of self as reflected in the total of all the tangible things you own
Social self: concept of self as reflected in social interactions with others
Spiritual self: concept of self based on thoughts and introspections about personal values, moral standards, and beliefs

9. Self-Concept: Who You Think You Are (7 of 10)
How Your Self-Concept Develops
You are who you are through five basic means
Interaction with individuals
Looking-glass self
Attachment style
Secure attachment style
Anxious attachment style
Avoidant attachment style
Looking-glass self: suggests you learn who you are based on your interactions with others, who reflect your self back to you
Attachment style: a style of relating to others that develops early in life, based on the emotional bond one forms with one’s parents or primary caregiver
Secure attachment style: the style of relating to others that is characteristic of those who are comfortable giving and receiving affections, experiencing intimacy, and trusting other people
Anxious attachment style: the style of relating of relating to others that is characteristic of those who experience anxiety in some intimate relationships and feel uncomfortable giving and receiving affection
Avoidant attachment style: the style of relating to others that is characteristic of those who consistently experience discomfort and awkwardness in intimate relationships and who therefore avoid such relationships

10. Self-Concept: Who You Think You Are (8 of 10)
How Your Self-Concept Develops (continued)
You are who you are through five basic means (continued)
Associations with groups
Roles you assume
Electronically mediated communication (EMC)
Androgynous role
Self labels
Self -reflexiveness
Your personality
Electronically mediated communication (EMC): messages that are send via some electronic channel such as the phone, , text, or the Internet
Androgynous role: gender role that includes both masculine and feminine qualities
Self-reflexiveness: ability to think about what you are doing while you are doing it

11. Self-Concept: Who You Think You Are (9 of 10)
In American culture, behavior among girls is in many ways quite distinct from that of boys.

12. Self-Concept: Who You Think You Are (10 of 10)
How Your Self-Concept Develops (continued)
Your personality and biology
Psychology
Personality
Big Five Personality Traits: extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, neuroticism, openness
Communibiological approach
Social learning theory
Shyness
Communication apprehension
Willingness to communicate
Psychology: the study of how a person’s thinking influences his or her behavior
Personality: a set of enduring behavioral characteristics and internal predispositions for reacting to your environment
Extraversion: Outgoing, talkative, positive, and sociable
Agreeableness: Friendly, compassionate, trusting, and cooperative
Conscientiousness: Efficient, organized, self-disciplined, dutiful, and methodical
Neuroticism: Nervous, insecure, emotionally distressed, and anxious
Openness: Curious, imaginative, creative, adventurous, and inventive
Communibiological approach: perspective that suggests that genetic and biological influences play a major role in influencing communication behavior
Social learning theory: suggests people can learn behavior that helps them adapt and adjust their behavior toward others
Shyness: a behavioral tendency not to talk or interact with others
Communication apprehension: fear or anxiety associated with either real or anticipated communication with other people
Willingness to communicate: a behavioral trait that describes a person’s comfortableness with and likelihood of initiating communication with other people

13. Self-Esteem: Your Self-Worth (1of 1) 2
Self-Esteem: Your Self-Worth (1of 1) 2.2 Define self-esteem and compare and contrast self-esteem with self-concept.
Self-Esteem: Your Self-Worth
Related to your self-concept
Self-worth
Self-efficacy
Social comparison
Life position
Self-worth (self-esteem): your evaluation of your worth or value based on your perception of such things as your skills, abilities, talents, and appearances
Self-efficacy: a person’s belief in his or her abiity to perform a specific task in a particular situation
Social comparison: process of comparing yourself to others who are similar to you, to measure your worth and value
Life position: feelings of regard for self and others, as reflected in one’s sense of worth and self-esteem

14. Facework: Presenting Your Self-Image to Others (1 of 4) 2
Facework: Presenting Your Self-Image to Others (1 of 4) 2.3 Define facework and discuss how your project your face and protect others’ face.
Facework: Presenting Your Self-Image to Others
Your face is a focal point of your self-image
Facework
Face: a person’s positive perception of himself or herself in interactions with others
Facework: using communication to maintain your own positive self-perception or to support, reinforce, or challenge someone else’s self-perception

15. Facework: Presenting Your Self-Image to Others (2 of 4)
Projecting a positive image of yourself—positive face—means being mindful of how you talk to and interact with others.
Positive face: an image of yourself that will be perceived as positive by others
Preventative facework: efforts to maintain and enhance one’s positive self-perceptions
Corrective facework: efforts to correct what one person perceives as a negative perception of oneself on the part of others

16. Facework: Presenting Your Self-Image to Others (3 of 4)
Projecting Your Face
Facework helps us be perceived as we want to be perceived, and is also used when we support, reinforce or challenge someone’s else’s face.
Positive face
Preventative facework
Corrective facework
Positive face: an image of yourself that will be perceived as positive by others
Preventative facework: efforts to maintain and enhance one’s positive self-perceptions
Corrective facework: efforts to correct what one person perceives as a negative perception of oneself on the part of others

17. Facework: Presenting Your Self-Image to Others (4 of 4)
Protecting Others’ Face
Be other-oriented, polite, generous and supportive.
Face-threatening acts
Politeness theory
Face-threatening acts: communication that undermines or challenges someone’s positive face
Politeness theory: theory that people have positive perceptions of other who treat them politely and respectfully

18. How to Improve Your Self-Esteem (1 of 5) 2
How to Improve Your Self-Esteem (1 of 5) 2.4 Identify and describe seven strategies for improving your self-concept
Engage in Self-Talk
Positive self-talk boosts confidence and improves self-esteem.
Intrapersonal communication
Visualize a Positive Image of Yourself
Visualization can help change long-standing feelings of inadequacy.
Intrapersonal communication: communication within yourself—self talk
Visualization: technique of imagining that you are performing a particular task in a certain way; positive visualization can enhance self-esteem

19. How to Improve Your Self-Esteem (2 of 5)
Although positive self-talk will never be able to make all of us become champion athletes, it can help us focus on our own goals and improve our performance levels.
Reframing: process of redefining events and experiences from a different point of view

20. How to Improve Your Self-Esteem (3 of 5)
Avoid Comparing Yourself with Others
Be mindful of how your comparisons may influence yourself self-esteem.
Reframe Appropriately
Use reframing to redefine events and experiences from a different point of view.
Reframing: process of redefining events and experiences from a different point of view

21. How to Improve Your Self-Esteem (4 of 5)
Develop Honest Relationships
Objectively and honestly reflect on your virtues and vices.
Let Go of the Past
Don’t stay fixated on events and experiences that happened in the past; become aware of the changes that have occurred to help you develop a more realistic assessment of your value.

22. How to Improve Your Self-Esteem (5 of 5)
Seek Support
Social support is one of the most helpful ways to restore self-esteem.
Use talk therapy to gain insight into why you experience the pain and difficulties that you do.
Social support: expression of empathy and concern for others that is communicated while listening to them and offering positive and encouraging words
Talk therapy: technique in which a person describes his or her problems and concerns to a skilled listener in order to better understand the emotions and issues creating the problems

23. Self and Interpersonal Relationships (1 of 8) 2
Self and Interpersonal Relationships (1 of 8) 2.5 Identify the effects of your self-concept and self-esteem on your relationships with others.
Self and Interaction With Others
Your image of yourself and your sense of self-worth directly affect how you interact with others.
Symbolic interaction theory
Self and Your Future
What people believe about themselves often comes true because they expect it to happen.
Self-fulfilling prophecy
Symbolic interaction theory: people make sense out o the world based on their interpretation of words or symbols used by others
Self-fulfilling prophecy: prediction about future actions that is likely to come true because the person believes that it will come true

24. Self and Interpersonal Relationships (2 of 8)
You can increase your chance for success by having a positive mindset and high expectations of yourself and your abilities.

25. Self and Interpersonal Relationships (3 of 8)
Self and Interpretation of Messages
People with low self-esteem interpret messages and interact with others in a way that is negative.
People whose self-worth is high have more positive interactions and outcomes.

26. Self and Interpersonal Relationships (4 of 8)
Self and Interpersonal Needs
Schultz’s three primary social needs
Need for inclusion
Need for control
Need for affection
Need for inclusion: interpersonal need to be include ad to include others in social activities
Need for control: interpersonal need for some degree of influence in our relationships, as well as the need to be controlled
Need for affection: interpersonal need to give and receive love, support, warmth, and intimacy

27. Self and Interpersonal Relationships (5 of 8)
Self and Disclosure to Others
Disclosing personal information not only provides a basis for another person to understand you better, it also conveys your level of trust and acceptance of the other person.
Self-disclosure
Asking others for information about yourself and then listening to what they tell you can enhance your self- awareness.
Self-awareness
Self-disclosure: purposefully providing information about yourself to others they would not learn if you did not tell them
Self-awareness: a person’s conscious understanding of who he or she is

28. Self and Interpersonal Relationships (6 of 8)
Self and Disclosure to Others (continued)
The Johari Window model
Open: Known to self and known to others
Blind: Not known to self but known to others
Hidden: Known to self but not known to others
Unknown: Not known to self or others
Figure 2.5 Johari Window of Self-Disclosure
Johari Window model: model of self-disclosure that summarizes how self-awareness is influenced by self-disclosure and information about yourself from others

29. Figure 2.6 Variations of the Johari Window
A new relationship for someone who is very self-aware
An intimate relationship A B

30. Self and Interpersonal Relationships (8 of 8)
Self and Communication Social Style
Carl Jung’s communication social styles
Thinkers, feelers, intuiters, and sensors
Two fundamental dimensions of social style
Assertiveness
Responsiveness
Adapt your style to enhance communication quality.
Communication social style: an identifiable way of habitually communicating with others
Assertiveness: tendency to make requests, ask for information, and generally pursue one’s own rights and best interests
Responsiveness: Tendency to be sensitive to the needs of others, including being sympathetic to others’ feelings of others above one’s own feelings