1. Ingrid Poulson Steadfast Training
“LIFE’S TOUGH, SOFTEN UP”
– Using resilience to rise again

2. Life’s Tough
Soften Up

3. THE Right Brain vs Left Brain test
THE Right Brain vs Left Brain test ... do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise?
If clockwise, then you use more of the right side of the brain and vice versa. Anti clockwise- left Most of us would see the dancer turning anti-clockwise though you can try to focus and change the direction; see if you can do it.
LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS If you do a bit of maths it’s meant to go left or ante-clockwise. uses logic detail oriented facts rule words and language present and past math and science can comprehend knowing acknowledges order/pattern perception knows object name reality based forms strategies practical safe
RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS uses feeling "big picture" oriented imagination rules symbols and images present and future philosophy & religion can "get it" (i.e. meaning) believes appreciates spatial perception knows object function fantasy based presents possibilities impetuous risk taking
The language of possibility

4. Here I was – a normal happy family
I was one of those people that said “I could not survive the death of my children”
I was defined by them.
Didn’t know who I was – Unmummed

5. Survivors
Victim label
Victim is a state of mind
Mal-
I had to believe that life was worthy
I was worthy

6. How would we What would we do in order to not go on ..
Why would we want to be negative?
How do we move? How do we move from victim to survivor?

7. Do something
Ketrina vs Tsunami
Vramak Flickr

8. Resilience is an “ordinary magic” Masten

9. Gender differences- deal with it differently
Did you know that every brain begins as a female brain and that it only becomes male eight weeks after conception? This is when excess testosterone shrinks the communication centre, reduces the hearing cortex and makes the part of the brain that processes sex twice as large.
The female brain- Louann Brizendine
RISE above this too.

10. I show I care for myself by
Eating 3 pieces of fruit a day
Eating 5 vegetables a day
Exercising- walk
Drinking 2 litres of water
Having at least 2 wine free nights a week
Keeping a high standard of personal grooming
Setting goals
Recognising my wins

11. Dr Randy Pausch-
“I cannot control the cards I’m dealt, only how I play the hand”
I’m sorry if I’m not morose enough for you.
I apologise but I don’t choose to be an object of pity.
Victim is a state of mind...

12. Resolve I S E
Resolve
Make a decision to take responsibility for your response
Must come from within- the internal switch
Fair- corrupted karma
Identity
Supporte
Everyday
Writing the book- the term rise came up a lot
Rise to the occasion, rise above it,

13. The single most important decision any of us will make...
...is whether or not to believe that the Universe is friendly
-Albert Einstein

14. Leunig Is it a good or a bad world?
We notice what we pay attention to....

15. When we change the way we look at things....
...the things we look at change
When we change our mind, we change our brain.
When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.

16. Angry driver and the calm driver

17. Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb, but how well you bounce -unknown
Applies to all levels of stress.

18. R
Identity S E
Resolve
Make a decision to take responsibility for your response
Must come from within- the internal switch
Fair- corrupted karma
Identity
Supporte
Everyday
Writing the book- the term rise came up a lot
Rise to the occasion, rise above it,

19. How do you identify yourself
Totalise who you are?
Malcolm Gladwell describes an experiment..
Asked black college students to identify their race at the beginning of a test
This was enough to cut the number of items they got right by half.
Priming
Victim
State of being, it’s a state of mind
By changing our state of mind, we can change our state of being

20. Self esteem Self confidence Self efficacy
How are you framing yourself?
Self confidence
Self esteem
Self efficacy
What do you say to yourself?
Lapse and re-lapse

21. Learning from mistakes or from the past.
There’s a man who goes past a
3 day river cruise- $50
Checks the price-
Pays $50 “Whack” on the head
Floating down river- plank of wood, two arms tied, parched and do you know if we get lunch on this tour?
I don’t know- we didn’t last year

22. My experience with Adrian – what not to do.
It’s not putting a good spin on a bad thing. But what can i do with that knowledge now?

23. Is it just about being strong?
Are we able to explore the full range of emotions.

24. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change
It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives.
It is the one that is the most adaptable to change
-Darwin

27. Sensory Cortex High Road Sensory Thalamus Amygdala Low Road
Emotions are involuntary
Perceived threat and higher cortex kicking in.
People who are depressed, anxious seem to have a short circuit in the neural route
People who have difficulty controlling their emotions, show a diminished activity in the higher cortex
Emotional intelligence isn’t that the emtions are intelligent- it’s what we do with those emotions.
Low Road
Emotional Responses
Emotional Stiumulus
Le doux (1996)

28. Have difficulty interpreting neutral expressions, seeing them as threatening or hostile.
Another group- teenagers
Alcholics- it appears that alcoholism is correlated with this inability to read other’s emotions accurately.
The issue is- what came first?

29. Anger
Anger begets anger
Rumination

30. Rumination and co-rumination

31. This is how it is
Not how it was
Might have been
Should have been
Not how I want it to be
Hoped it would be
Planned it would be
I accept this is how it is
Now I get on with my life
In a positive way
-unknown

32. R I
Support E
Resolve
Make a decision to take responsibility for your response
Must come from within- the internal switch
Fair- corrupted karma
Identity
Supporte
Everyday
Writing the book- the term rise came up a lot
Rise to the occasion, rise above it,

33. Social support is essential

34. Social
Being able to ask for and accept help
Jenny story

35. Contagion of social relationships

36. Five tips for a healthier social network
Choose your friends carefully
Choose which of your existing friends you spend the most time with
Join a club whose members you want to emulate (eg cooking, running) and socialise with them
If you are with people whose emotional state or behaviours you could do without, try to avoid the natural inclination to mimic their facial expressions and postures
Be aware at all times of your susceptibility to social influence- and remember that being a social animal is mostly a good thing
NewScientist 3 January 2009
Face Book

37. I’ve learned that people will forget what you’ve said, people will forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel Maya Angelou
Take Heart
Life’s Tough – Soften up
What gets us by is our soft skills- our capacity to interact and seek support, show and receive empathy and sympathy.

38. R I S
Everyday
Resolve
Make a decision to take responsibility for your response
Must come from within- the internal switch
Fair- corrupted karma
Identity
Supporte
Everyday
Writing the book- the term rise came up a lot
Rise to the occasion, rise above it,

39. Crucial relatinship between physical and emotional health and wellbeing

41. GLOW

42. Relationship between mental illness and sleep
Sleep re-sets our emotional compass
PTSD – stripping the emotions from the day

43. Having goals and challenging ourselves

44. Setting realistic goals- special education classroom

45. Environmental importance to us.
I had to look at beautiful things

46. We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves happy.
The amount of work is the same
- Carlos Casteneda
Seek joy
Positive emotions-
Savouring short happy moments in your life is what makes you happy.
& Builds resilience- barbara friekrikson

47. Labels!

48. RISE