1. The 5 Love Languages

2. Best - Worst - Golden
Silver - Primary - Secondary
Unlimited - Parents - Children
Nature - Nurture - Stages
Optical - Illusion - Work
Play - Talking - Yelling
Negative - Positive - Praise
Universal - Galactic - Wrong
Right - Fear - Brave
Slave - Master - Orphans
Europe - Asia - Canada

3. Purpose To identify your style of affection and communication
To discover how you best receive love

4. The Golden Rule Does Not Work
Golden Rule: Treat others how you wish to be treated
Golden Rule does not work in love relationships
The problem: rarely do two people get together that have the same preferred love language.

5. 5 love languages Quality time Words of Affirmation Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch

6. 5 love languages detail
5 ways that people speak, understand, and express emotional love
Unlimited ways to express love within a language
You have a primary language and can receive love through all 5 BUT-
If primary love language is not received do not feel loved through the other four.

7. The Power of Love
Fundamental building block of all human relationships
Can impact our values and morals
Feel loved and needed you can survive pressures of life
Gives us meaning in life

8. Role of Parents
Lack of love from parents often motivates children to go searching for love in other relationships
Relationship with parents has positive or negative influence on all relationships.
Observation of parents’ relationships influence future relationships positively or negatively.

9. Misunderstanding of nature of love
Develop addiction to romantic love
Overwhelmed by romantic love in popular culture
Believe that love is something that magically happens

10. 2 Stages of Love
Obsessive Stage
Covenant Stage

11. Obsessive Stage of Love
Under illusion that relationship is perfect
Friends may see flaws, but we cannot
Irrational thoughts and act impulsively
Idealistic belief that love just happens; does not take work
Lack of understanding beyond this stage relationship ends in failure relationship failure is continually repeated

12. Covenant Stage of Love Must be fed, nurtured and worked on
Previous obsession fade; reality becomes clear
Conscious, intentional, and a commitment to love no matter what
Commitment to well-being.
Requires two factors: knowledge of the nature of love and the willingness to love.

13. Quality Time Giving someone undivided attention
Time spent talking and listening
Activity enjoyed by both

14. Words of Affirmation
True statements that affirm the worth of another person
Best expressed in simple, straight-forward statements

15. Words of Affirmation
Greatly influenced by language environment experienced growing up
Grew up hearing easier to be affirming
Grew up with negative language requires learning new vocabulary and losing critical responses
Receive affirming words motivated to respond similarly

16. Affirming Words Appreciation Encouragement - Inspire courage to others
Express - “I care” “I am with you” “How can I help?”
Praise- Recognition of accomplishments.
Kindness – not just WHAT we say, but how we say it
Humbleness – makes request, not demands

17. Gift Giving Meaning of a gift
 tangible object that says, “I was thinking about you. I wanted you to have this”
fundamental universal languages of love
Emotion communicated by gift is more important that gift itself

18. The Wrong Gift Given with strings attached
As an apology or to fix a situation
Require to be costly to impress or manipulate

19. Acts of Service Freely given, not out of fear, but out of choice
Personal discovery that it is “more blessed to give than to receive

20. Service vs. Slavery Slavery Service Forced to serve
Treats other as an object to be used
Manipulation by guilt – “If you loved me, you would do this for me”
Coercion by fear – “You will do this or you will be sorry
Allowing oneself to be manipulated by another is not an act of love but treason
Service
Freely given, not out of fear, but out of choice

21. Physical Touch Physical touch is vital to development Time and Place
Orphans who do not receive touch struggle to develop
Time and Place
Hugging
Holding Hands
Patting on the back
Kissing