1. Composing Business Messages
Chapter 3
Composing Business Messages

2. The Writing Process
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 2

3. Phase 2 of the Writing Process
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 3

4. Phase 2: Researching Collect information that answers these questions:
What does the receiver need to know about this topic?
What is the receiver to do?
How is the receiver to do it and when?
What will happen if the receiver doesn’t do it?
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 4

5. Phase 2: Researching Formal Research Methods Search manually.
Access electronically.
Go to the source.
Conduct scientific experiments.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 5

6. Phase 2: Researching Informal Research Methods and Idea Generation
Look in the files.
Talk with your boss.
Interview the target audience.
Conduct an informal survey.
Brainstorm ideas.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 6

7. Phase 2: Organizing Organizing involves two processes:
Grouping Well-organized messages group similar ideas together.
Strategizing You must decide where in the message to place the main idea.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 7

8. Title: Major Idea or Purpose
Phase 2: Organizing
I. First major component
First subpoint
Detail, illustration, evidence
B. Second subpoint 1. 2.
II. Second major component
Title: Major Idea or Purpose
Organizing
Information
Into an Outline
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 8

9. Phase 2: Organizing Tips for Making Outlines
Define main topic in title.
Divide the topic into three to five main points.
Break the components into subpoints.
Make each component exclusive (no overlapping).
Don't put a single item under a major component.
Use details and evidence to support subpoints.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 9

10. details and explanations
DIRECT STRATEGY
Organizing
Business
Messages
Main idea comes
first followed by
details and explanations
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 10

11. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 11

12. Organizing Business Messages Explanation precedes main idea
INDIRECT STRATEGY
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 12

13. Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 13

14. Advantages Saves reader’s time Sets a proper frame of mind DIRECT
STRATEGY
Saves reader’s time
Sets a proper frame of mind
Prevents frustration
Appears businesslike
Advantages
INDIRECT
STRATEGY
Respects feelings of audience
Encourages a fair hearing
Minimizes a negative reaction
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 14

15. Useful when Receiver is receptive DIRECT
STRATEGY
Receiver is receptive
Receiver requires no education about topic
Message is routine
Useful when
INDIRECT
STRATEGY
Receiver may be upset or hostile
Receiver must be persuaded or educated
Message is sensitive
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 15

16. Phase 2: Composing Business writers must be able to:
Develop effective sentences.
Improve writing techniques.
Draft powerful paragraphs.
Compose a first draft.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 16

17. Effective Sentences Complete sentences have subjects
Phrases
Clauses
Complete sentences have subjects
and verbs and make sense
(are capable of standing alone).
subject verb
Employees send many messages.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 17

18. Effective Sentences dependent clause independent clause
Complete
Sentences
Clauses
Phrases
Clauses also have subjects and verbs.
Independent clauses can stand alone.
Dependent clauses rely on independent clauses for their meaning.
dependent clause independent clause
When you speak, you reveal yourself.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 18

19. Effective Sentences phrase phrase
Complete
Sentences
Clauses
Phrases
Phrases are groups of related words without subjects and verbs.
phrase phrase
In the afternoon, I work at the mall.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 19

20. Effective Sentences Use four sentence types to achieve variety.
Simple sentence (one independent clause) LinkedIn decided to sell its stock to the public.
Compound sentence (two independent clauses) The company went public, and the price per share doubled the first day.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 20

21. Effective Sentences Use four sentence types to achieve variety.
Complex Sentence (one independent and one dependent clause) Because LinkedIn’s IPO was so successful, the entire stock market went up.
Compound-complex sentence (at least two independent clauses and one dependent clause) Although many investors bought LinkedIn stock the first day, some were disappointed; however, they were able to purchase shares shortly after.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 21

22. Source: American Press Institute
Effective Sentences
Use short sentences.
Sentence Length
8 words
15 words
19 words
28 words
Comprehension Rate
100%
90%
80%
50%
Source: American Press Institute
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 22

23. Effective Sentences 1. Fragment Revision:
Avoid three common sentence faults.
1. Fragment
Even though the pay was low. Many candidates applied.
Revision:
Even though the pay was low, many candidates applied.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 23

24. Effective Sentences 2. Run-on (fused) sentence Revisions:
Avoid three common sentence faults.
2. Run-on (fused) sentence
Two candidates applied only one was hired.
Revisions:
Two candidates applied. Only one was hired.
Two candidates applied; only one was hired.
Two candidates applied, but only one was hired.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 24

25. Effective Sentences 3. Comma Splice Revisions:
Avoid three common sentence faults.
3. Comma Splice
Many were qualified, Jeff was hired.
Revisions:
Many were qualified. Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified; Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified; however, Jeff was hired.
Many were qualified, but Jeff was hired.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 25

26. Avoiding Fragments, Run-ons, and Comma Splices
Poor:
Improved:
You can create a Web-based job portfolio it will impress potential employers.
You can create a Web-based job portfolio; it will impress potential employers.
Submit your résumé online. When you apply for a job.
Submit your résumé online when you apply for a job.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 26

27. Avoiding Fragments, Run-ons, and Comma Splices
Poor:
Improved:
Although technical skills are important. Communication skills are also in great demand.
Although technical skills are important, communication skills are also in great demand.
College used to be for young people, however many older students now seek degrees.
College used to be for young people; however, many older students now seek degrees.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 27

28. Avoiding Fragments, Run-ons, and Comma Splices
Poor:
Improved:
Technology is changing the business world people are writing more messages than ever before.
Technology is changing the business world. People are writing more messages than ever before. OR: Technology is changing the business world; people are
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 28

29. Avoiding Fragments, Run-ons, and Comma Splices
Poor:
Improved:
Executives are busy, they won't read wordy messages and reports.
Executives are busy. They won't read wordy messages and reports. OR: Executives are busy; they won't read.…
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 29

30. Improving Writing Techniques
Achieve emphasis through mechanics.
Underlining:
Which of these methods do you prefer?
Italics and Boldface:
The use of boldface and italics captures the reader’s attention.
All Caps:
Notice how EXPENSE-FREE VACATION stands out.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 30

31. Improving Writing Techniques
Achieve emphasis through mechanics.
Dashes:
Other methods–including dashes–may be used.
Tabulation: Listing items vertically emphasizes them.
1. First item
2. Second item
3. Third item
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 31

32. Improving Writing Techniques
Achieve emphasis through style.
To emphasize an idea
Use a vivid expression, such as in error-free document rather than good document.
Label the idea with expressions such as more important, the principal reason, or the best alternative.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 32

33. Improving Writing Techniques
Achieve emphasis through style.
To emphasize an idea
Put the important idea first or last in the sentence.
Put the important idea in a simple sentence or in an independent clause.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 33

34. Improving Writing Techniques
Achieve emphasis through style.
To de-emphasize an idea
Use general, rather than specific, words (some customers complained, rather than 125 customers complained).
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 34

35. Improving Writing Techniques
Achieve emphasis through style.
To de-emphasize an idea
Place the idea in a dependent clause connected to an independent clause containing a positive idea.
Although items cannot be returned for cash, you will receive store credit for any returns.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 35

36. Improving Writing Techniques
Use active- and passive-voice verbs.
Active-voice verbs show the subject performing the action.
Most major employers require drug testing.
(Active voice; the subject is acting)
Dr. Smith recommended Tina for the job.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 36

37. Improving Writing Techniques
Use active- and passive-voice verbs.
In passive-voice sentences, the subject is being acted upon. Passive-voice verbs require helper verbs:
Drug testing is required by most major employers.
(Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon)
Tina was recommended for the job by Dr. Smith.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 37

38. Improving Writing Techniques
Use active- and passive-voice verbs.
Use the active voice for most business writing.
Use the passive voice to emphasize an action or the recipient of the action–rather than the actor (New laws were passed; texting while driving was targeted).
Use the passive voice to break bad news (Although your lease cannot be renewed, we can offer ).
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 38

39. Converting Verbs to Active Voice
Add subjects as needed.
Passive Voice:
Active Voice:
Our membership meeting was postponed by the president.
The president postponed our membership meeting.
The résumés of job candidates are kept on file for six months.
Our company keeps the résumés of job candidates on file for six months.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 39

40. Converting Verbs to Active Voice
Add subjects as needed.
Passive Voice:
Active Voice:
All team messages are sent by .
Team members send all messages by .
Background checks are required of all new employees.
The company requires background checks for all new employees.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 40

41. Converting Verbs to Active Voice
Add subjects as needed.
Passive Voice:
Active Voice:
We were given instructions by the manager.
The manager gave us instructions.
Live chat is used for customer service.
Comcast uses live chat for customer service.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 41

42. Converting Verbs to Passive Voice
Active Voice:
Passive Voice:
We must delay shipment of your merchandise because of heavy demand.
Your merchandise shipment must be delayed because of heavy demand.
Management rejected our plan.
Our plan was rejected by management.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 42

43. Converting Verbs to Passive Voice
Active Voice:
Passive Voice:
The technician could not install the wireless network.
The wireless network could not be installed.
Jared did not submit the accounting statement on time.
The accounting statement was not submitted on time.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 43

44. Improving Writing Techniques
Develop parallelism, balanced construction.
Match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, phrases with phrases, and clauses with clauses.
Poor
Parallel
Training sessions
have been stimulat-
ing and a challenge.
Training sessions
have been stimulat-
ing and challenging.
(Matches -ing verbals)
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 44

45. Improving Writing Techniques
Develop parallelism.
Poor
Parallel
We are very
concerned with the
quality of raw
materials, where
they are located, and
how much it costs to
transport them.
We are very
concerned with the
quality, location, and
transportation costs
of raw materials.
(Matches nouns)
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 45

46. Improving Writing Techniques
Develop parallelism.
Poor
Parallel
Serena takes the
telephone orders,
Matt locates the
items in the ware-
house, and the
items are sent by
Yolanda.
Serena takes the
telephone orders,
Matt locates the
items in the ware-
house, and Yolanda
sends the items.
(Matches active-voice verbs)
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 46

47. Revising to Improve Parallelism
Poor:
Improved:
Our knowledge management system focuses on the collecting, storage, and sharing of best practices.
Our knowledge management system focuses on the collecting, storing, and sharing of best practices.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 47

48. Revising to Improve Parallelism
Poor:
Improved:
The fall seminar is in September, January is scheduled for the winter seminar, and April is the month of the spring seminar.
The fall seminar is in September, the winter seminar is in January, and the spring seminar is in April.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 48

49. Revising to Improve Parallelism
Poor:
Improved:
We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth because she has sincerity, she is reliable, and she works with diligence.
We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth because she is sincere, reliable, and diligent.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 49

50. Improving Writing Techniques
Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers.
For clarity, modifiers must be close to the words they describe or limit.
Be sure to place a logical subject immediately after an introductory verbal phrase.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 50

51. Improving Writing Techniques
Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers.
Poor
Improved
After considering the
problem carefully,
new procedures
were suggested by
management.
After considering the
problem carefully,
management
suggested new
procedures.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 51

52. Improving Writing Techniques
Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers.
Poor
Improved
Any student has full
online privileges who
is enrolled in the
college.
Any student who is
enrolled in the
college has full
online privileges.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 52

53. Improving Writing Techniques
Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers.
Poor
Improved
It’s hard to under-
stand why employees
would not go to our
technical support
staff with Web access
problems.
It’s hard to under-
stand why employees
with Web access
problems would not
go to our technical
support staff.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 53

54. Improving Writing Techniques
Avoid dangling and misplaced modifiers.
Poor
Improved
Using a search
tool, the Web
site was finally
located.
Using a search
tool, we finally
located the Web site.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 54

55. Avoiding Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
Poor:
Improved:
To be hired, two years of experience is required.
To be hired, applicants must have two years of experience.
Dipped in butter, you can really enjoy a fine lobster.
Dipped in butter, a fine lobster can truly be enjoyed.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 55

56. Avoiding Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
Poor:
Improved:
By advertising extensively, all open jobs were filled quickly.
By advertising extensively, we filled all open jobs quickly.
After leaving the office, Jeff's car would not start.
After leaving the office, Jeff could not start his car.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 56

57. Avoiding Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
Poor:
Improved:
She died in the house in which she was born at the age of 88.
At the age of 88, she died in the house in which she was born.
Despite being paralyzed, doctors hoped that Mark would walk again.
Despite Mark's paralysis, doctors hoped that he would walk again.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 57

58. Avoiding Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers
Revise the following:
Explanation:
To receive an employment form, fill out this application.
(Tricky!)
The sentence is correct as it stands. “You” is the understood subject of a command.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 58

59. Drafting Powerful Paragraphs
A paragraph is a group of sentences about one idea. Paragraphs are most effective when they contain:
A topic sentence
Support sentences that expand and explain the main idea
Techniques to build coherence
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 59

60. Drafting Powerful Paragraphs
Achieve paragraph coherence.
Guide your audience from one thought to another by using one of these devices:
Repeat a key idea or key words.
Next month we plan to launch a promotion for our new Facebook page. The promotion will involve several social media campaigns.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 60

61. Drafting Powerful Paragraphs
Achieve paragraph coherence.
Use a pronoun.
LinkedIn is a popular site for business professionals. They see it as a place to network and establish career connections.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 61

62. Drafting Powerful Paragraphs
Achieve paragraph coherence.
Use an appropriate transitional expression.
Time Association
before, after
first, second
meanwhile
next
until
when, whenever
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 62

63. Drafting Powerful Paragraphs
Achieve paragraph coherence.
Use an appropriate transitional expression.
Contrast
although
but
however
instead
nevertheless
Cause–Effect
consequently
for this reason
hence
therefore
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 63

64. Drafting Powerful Paragraphs
Achieve paragraph coherence.
Use an appropriate transitional expression.
Additional Idea
furthermore
in addition
likewise
moreover
similarly
Illustration
in this way
for example
for instance
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 64

65. Drafting Powerful Paragraphs
TIP: Paragraphs
with eight or fewer
printed lines look
inviting and readable.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 65

66. Composing the First Draft
Complete all necessary research.
Find a quiet place to concentrate and work.
Prohibit calls, visitors, and interruptions.
Organize information into an outline.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 66

67. Composing the First Draft
Decide whether to write quickly (freewriting) OR revise as you go.
Imagine you are talking to a reader or listener.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 67

68. -- James A. Newman and Alexander Roy Climbing the Corporate Matterhorn
“Whatever your program in college, be sure to include courses in writing and speaking. Managers must constantly write instructions, reports, memos, letters, and survey conclusions. If this comes hard to you, it will hold you back.”
-- James A. Newman and Alexander Roy Climbing the Corporate Matterhorn
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition
Chapter 3, Slide 68

69. END