1. Chapter 6 Communication
Healthy Relationships

2. WARM UP Turn to page 4 in your packet.
Please fill out this worksheet to the best of your abilities.
Once you are done talk to the people around you to compare answers.

3. Effective Communication
Communication is the process of sharing information, thoughts, or feelings.
4 skills: “I” Messages: statement that expresses your feelings, but does not blame or judge the other person.
Ex: you can say to a friend, “I am upset that we didn’t talk last night.”

4. Communication Skills Cont.
Active Listening: your full attention on what the other person is saying and letting that person know you understand and care.
Ex: Show your interest by looking at the person. Then, encourage the speaker to begin speaking.

5. Assertiveness .
When you are assertive, you are able to stand up for yourself.

6. Body Language
Definition: includes posture, gestures, facial expressions, and body movements.
Ex: Most Americans expect you to make eye contact, or meet their gaze, when you talk with them.
But in some cultures, making eye contact in some situations is a sign of disrespect.

7. 3 THINGS THAT PEOPLE LOOK FOR IN FRIENDS…
honest reactions
encouragement during bad times
understanding when they make mistakes

8. QUALITIES LOYALITY: “BEING TRUE AT ALL TIMES..”
Ex: If we’re loyal, we won’t tear a friend down behind her back or share her personal story without her permission. It’s easy to gossip or pass judgment; it’s much harder to keep silent
HONESTY: “TRUTHFUL, NO MATTER THE COST.”
EMPATHY: is the capacity to recognize emotions that are being experienced by another sentient or fictional being.
RELIABILITY: Able to be trusted, predictable and dependable
“True friendship cannot be built on false images. We must be true to ourselves”

9. Problems
1. Envy
2. Jealous
3. Cruelty
4. Manipulation

10. What can you do?
Support
Be Available
Listen to them
Don’t Judge
Stay in touch

11. all week until Friday and if I help pay for a babysitter would you
“Mom-Can I go to the dance
on Friday”
“No—I need to to babysit your brother.”
“How come Janis gets to go and I
don’t get to? That’s not fair!”
“Because she follows the family rules
and you don’t.”
“What does that have to do with any-
thing. Why can’t she babysit?
You always pick on me, you favor her,
you always make me babysit…”
Stomp off to room and slam door…
“Mom-can I talk with
you? There’s a dance I
really want to go to…
If I follow the rules
all week until Friday and if I help
pay for a babysitter would you
let me go?…”

12. CONFLICT RESOLUTION SKILLS: In a conflict you often don’t get
what you wanted because you:
1. Don't stay calm or
2. You lose sight of
the outcome
you wanted…
(see SO QIUC handout)

13. S O Q U I C (Don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions)
S – stay calm: breath, count, relax, think of a peaceful
place, use reminders statements like:
“It’s no big deal.” “It’s not worth it.”
“I can handle it.” “Getting mad won’t help.”
O – outcome: what outcome do I want?
Q – question: question to clarify what they’re saying
U – understand: their point of view (Empathy!)
 I – “I” statement: say how I feel in a kind way
 C – compromise: use bargaining power!

14. Assertiveness Survey outloud:
# a piece of scratch paper 1-10

15. Write how many “A’s” you got ???
Write how many “B’s” you got ???
Write how many “C’s you got ???

16. More than 2 A’s = PASSIVE
More than 2 B’s = ASSERTIVE
More than 2 C’s = AGGRESSIVE

17. Stands up for self Problem solves Is in control
Don’t be passive *BE ASSERTIVE* Don’t be aggressive
A’s B’s C’s
Is pushed around
Stands up for self
Forces others
Keep it stuffed down
Problem solves
Lashes out in anger
Is controlled
Is in control
Out of control 17

18. Pair / Share:
What’s wrong with being passive? What’s wrong with being aggressive?

19. Video:
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20. right way

21. wrong way

22. I Statements Worksheet

23. Resolving Conflicts worksheet

24. Things you can learn while Dating
1. His or Her Personality
2. Interests and hobbies
3. Skills and abilities
4. Values and Beliefs

25. Dating Violence
Define: It is a pattern of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse that occurs in a dating relationship. One partner tries to gain control over the other…
Cycle Of Violence: (Repeats over)
a tension-building stage
a violent episode
a calm or “honeymoon” stage
Complete activity( Groups of two)

26. Examples of Stages

27. Warning Signs Your date is jealous when you talk to others.
You date makes all the decisions.
Your date has a history of bad relationships
You feel isolated from your friends and family..
You feel less self-confident
DVD: Abstinence…

28. Definitions 2. Communicating your limits
Emotional Intimacy: The openness, sharing, affection, and trust that can develop in a close relationship.
Two Skills: 1. Communication (I messages) 2. Same Interests
Abstinence: The act of refraining from, or not having, sex.
Skills Include: 1. Setting clear limits
2. Communicating your limits
3. Avoiding high-pressure situations
4. Asserting yourself

29. Violence
Is the threat of or actual force against oneself or another person. Violence often results in injury or death.
Hazing: Is requiring a person to do degrading , risky, or illegal acts in order to join a group.

30. Stopping the Violence!!
Hazing
Bullying
Prevention can be established with strict school policies and enforcement from school teachers and Administrators.
Don’t make jokes at others expense or single out a person for exclusion.
Don’t reward a bully with laughter or other positive attention.
Speak up. Silence is seen as approval.
Don’t believe rumors and don’t spread rumors.

31. 6 rules for mediating a conflict
1.Stay calm
2. Choose the time and place carefully for the confrontation.
3. Don’t use put downs.
4. Allow each person to state his or her view of the problem.
5. Identify solutions
6. Conclude with a resolution