1. The FOUR Conversations
DAILY COMMUNICATION
THAT GETS RESULTS
Jeffrey Ford and Laurie Ford

2. “Talk is the lifeblood of managerial work”
Deborah Tannen
The Power of Talk
Harvard Business Review

3. Objectives for today:
Introduce the Four Conversations and the elements of effective workplace communication
Assist you in upgrading the communication in your workplace to generate more accomplishment, engagement, and satisfaction for everyone

4. Self-Assessment Worksheet
What are you working on? 1. 2. 3.
How’s it going? 1.
Which of the 9 limitations do you have in your workplace?
Lateness
Poor work quality
Difficult people
Lack of teamwork
Poor planning and workload overwhelm
Insufficient resources and support
Complaints
Blaming
Gossip
Have participants fill out their Exercise: Limitations at Work handout. Answer two questions:
How serious are these limitations in your workplace? Rate each one on a scale of 1 (not a problem) to 5 (a big problem, costs resources or morale)
Why do you think they happen?

5. Aspects of Communication
There are 3 ways to respond to a request:
Accept: Yes, I agree to provide the action or result at the time requested
Decline: No, I do not agree to do that.
Straight talk
Covert: Saying yes, Doing no
Counteroffer: No, I do not agree to that, but I propose an alternative.
Remember:
Saying “Yes” is a Promise
Saying No is Sometimes Necessary
INTENT
DELIVERY
RESULTS
PRODUCED

6. Internal States vs. Results
Hopes
Expectations
Feelings
Beliefs
Values
Motivations
Stories
Likes and dislikes
EXTERNAL RESULTS
Words spoken
Products delivered
Services provided
Deadlines met
Budgets balanced
Projects completed
Promotions gained
Agreements signed

7. Practical Communication
There are 3 ways to respond to a request:
Accept: Yes, I agree to provide the action or result at the time requested
Decline: No, I do not agree to do that.
Straight talk
Covert: Saying yes, Doing no
Counteroffer: No, I do not agree to that, but I propose an alternative.
Remember:
Saying “Yes” is a Promise
Saying No is Sometimes Necessary
Slow down & think: what do you want?
Results Produced? Or Not?
SPEAK!
Use four conversations.

8. Barriers in a Successful Workplace
Lateness
Poor work quality
Difficult people
Lack of teamwork
Poor planning and workload overwhelm
Insufficient resources and support
Lack of accountability

9. Unproductive Conversations
COMPLAINTS
BLAMING
GOSSIP
Unproductive conversations - Complaints, blaming, gossiping
Complaints – usually lack commitment
Blaming – undermines accountability
Gossip – reduces trust

10. Self-Assessment Worksheet
Common Workplace Issues
A problem? Why?
Lateness? Poor quality work? Difficult people? Lack of teamwork? Poor planning? Insufficient resources? Lack of accountability?
Complaining? Blaming? Gossip?
Which of the 9 limitations do you have in your workplace?
Lateness
Poor work quality
Difficult people
Lack of teamwork
Poor planning and workload overwhelm
Insufficient resources and support
Complaints
Blaming
Gossip
Have participants fill out their Exercise: Limitations at Work handout. Answer two questions:
How serious are these limitations in your workplace? Rate each one on a scale of 1 (not a problem) to 5 (a big problem, costs resources or morale)
Why do you think they happen?

11. Four Productive Conversations
#1. Initiative Conversations Introduce a new goal, propose an idea, or launch a change in a positive way to attract people to follow your leadership

12. Four Productive Conversations
#2. Understanding Conversations Have people create their own role in the new initiative by asking useful questions and contributing good ideas

13. Four Productive Conversations
#3. Performance Conversations Support people in getting into action by making requests, making promises, and establishing agreements for performance

14. Four Productive Conversations
#4. Closure Conversations Help people put the past behind them and move forward with credibility, a positive attitude, and a sense of accomplishment

15. All Four Conversations are Important
Initiative conversations - Give people enthusiasm, interest, and purpose
Understanding conversations – Help people engage, step up to participation
Performance conversations – Support getting accurate, complete, and on time results
Closure conversations – Avoid a buildup of resentment, cynicism, or mistrust

16. Self-Assessment Worksheet
Four Productive Conversations
Strong? Need work?
1. Initiative Conversations
2. Understanding Conversations
3. Performance Conversations
4. Closure Conversations
Which of the 9 limitations do you have in your workplace?
Lateness
Poor work quality
Difficult people
Lack of teamwork
Poor planning and workload overwhelm
Insufficient resources and support
Complaints
Blaming
Gossip
Have participants fill out their Exercise: Limitations at Work handout. Answer two questions:
How serious are these limitations in your workplace? Rate each one on a scale of 1 (not a problem) to 5 (a big problem, costs resources or morale)
Why do you think they happen?

17. Use the “Accomplishment Ingredients”
To help someone accomplish something, even a
small task, include “Accomplishment ingredients”:
What are we trying to accomplish?
When do we want to accomplish it?
Why is this accomplishment important?
Conversations might be missing important ingredients – such as not saying What you want, or When or Why you want it.
To help people accomplish something, even a small task, remember to add the “Accomplishment ingredients”:
What are we trying to accomplish?
When do we want to accomplish it?
Why is this accomplishment important?
What happens if you leave one out? (get examples from participants)
If you leave one ingredient out, there is no
opportunity for accomplishment!

18. … And the Resource Ingredients
To support people’s accomplishment, add “Resource ingredients” to your conversation:
Who else is involved?
Where will the resources come from?
And Where will the results go?
How will it get done?
If you leave one ingredient out, there is confusion about resources and participation.
Conversations might be missing important ingredients – such as not saying Who else is involved, or Where the resources or benefits are going to be, or How things will get done.
To help people accomplish something, even a small task, remember to add the “Resource ingredients”:
Who are the key players? Who else will be involved?
Where will the resources come from? Where will the benefits show up? Where are the key players and customers located?
How will we do this? How will the work get done? How can we plan the work and the resources to get the results we want?
What happens if you leave one out? (get examples from participants)

19. Self-Assessment Worksheet
Conversational Ingredients
Always Say These?
1. ACCOMPLISHMENT Ingredients
What – When – Why
2. RESOURCE Ingredients
Who – Where – How
Which of the 9 limitations do you have in your workplace?
Lateness
Poor work quality
Difficult people
Lack of teamwork
Poor planning and workload overwhelm
Insufficient resources and support
Complaints
Blaming
Gossip
Have participants fill out their Exercise: Limitations at Work handout. Answer two questions:
How serious are these limitations in your workplace? Rate each one on a scale of 1 (not a problem) to 5 (a big problem, costs resources or morale)
Why do you think they happen?

20. Key Points to Remember Some conversations slow things down
The Four Conversations are productive:
Initiative, Understanding, Performance, Closure
Productive conversations have Accomplishment and Resource Ingredients
Key Points to Remember
Some conversations are not productive
Four conversations are productive:
Initiative, Understanding, Performance, Closure
Conversations need six ingredients:
What-When-Why and Who-Where-How
Most problems, in work and in the rest of life, can be resolved with conversation
Most problems at work, and in life, can be resolved with productive conversations

21. How – and Why – to Use The Four Conversations

22. Initiative Conversations: Create a Future
Leadership is not about position, title, or authority.
Leadership is about conversations for a future.

23. Land A Man on the Moon…
“I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth. No single space project in this period will be more impressive to mankind, or more important for the long-range exploration of space; and none will be so difficult or expensive to accomplish. Let it be clear – and this is a judgment which the Members of the Congress must finally make – let it be clear that I am asking the Congress and the country to accept a firm commitment to a new course of action, a course which will last for many years and carry very heavy costs. If we are to go only half way, or reduce our sights in the face of difficulty, in my judgment it would be better not to go at all.”
President John F. Kennedy Speech to Joint Session of Congress
May 25, 1961
This is an initiative conversation – it is speaking for a future and inviting others to share in fulfilling that future. This is not some “pipe dream”, nor some “idle chatter”, it is a committed conversation in which President Kennedy is putting his name and the weight of the Presidency behind a proposal. This is not simply a “good idea” – it is a serious, no kidding commitment to a future. It is, in the language of this book, and Initiative Conversation

24. The Accomplishment Ingredients
The Kennedy Future
The Accomplishment Ingredients
What: Land a man on the moon and return him safely to the earth
When: Before this decade is out
Why: Impressive to mankind, important for the long-range exploration of space
THE KENNEDY FUTURE
What did he want to accomplish? Land a man on the moon and return him safely to Earth.
When did he want it to happen? By the end of the decade (60’s).
Why did he say it mattered? It would be impressive and important, [counters Soviets].
Who needed to be involved? Congress and the nation’s people.
Where would resources come from? Congress and the nation’s people.
How might it be accomplished? It would be difficult, and take a long time.
Futures have a short half-life. They are quickly and easily forgotten. Organizations and the people in them are already full of conversations.
How many of you have been in meetings or sessions and at some point you say “That’s it, I can’t listen anymore, I’ve had enough”. For some of you that may have already happened here in this meeting!
The natural condition for people is to forget. Forgetting is normal. Remembering is unusual.
What does this mean for those of us who are trying to accomplish something new? You have to REPEAT THINGS. Saying it once is not enough. The idea “I told them, they should remember – after all, they are adults” simply doesn’t work very well. And even if they remember, they may not remember one of the what, why or when.
Interestingly, people don’t need to agree with the Why in order to go along, they just to know there is a reason for doing this. We have worked with many people in organizations that are going through numerous changes. The people who were affected by the changes are sometimes upset about the changes, but they are even more upset if they are not told Why the changes matter. Not being told Why can be perceived as a sign of disrespect.

25. The Resource Ingredients
The Kennedy Future
The Resource Ingredients
Who needed to participate? Members of the Congress and the country
Where would resources come from? A judgment which the Members of the Congress must finally make to accept a firm commitment to a new course of action
How could it be accomplished? Difficult and expensive to accomplish – don’t go half way
THE KENNEDY FUTURE
What did he want to accomplish? Land a man on the moon and return him safely to Earth.
When did he want it to happen? By the end of the decade (60’s).
Why did he say it mattered? It would be impressive and important, [counters Soviets].
Who needed to be involved? Congress and the nation’s people.
Where would resources come from? Congress and the nation’s people.
How might it be accomplished? It would be difficult, and take a long time.
Futures have a short half-life. They are quickly and easily forgotten. Organizations and the people in them are already full of conversations.
How many of you have been in meetings or sessions and at some point you say “That’s it, I can’t listen anymore, I’ve had enough”. For some of you that may have already happened here in this meeting!
The natural condition for people is to forget. Forgetting is normal. Remembering is unusual.
What does this mean for those of us who are trying to accomplish something new? You have to REPEAT THINGS. Saying it once is not enough. The idea “I told them, they should remember – after all, they are adults” simply doesn’t work very well. And even if they remember, they may not remember one of the what, why or when.
Interestingly, people don’t need to agree with the Why in order to go along, they just to know there is a reason for doing this. We have worked with many people in organizations that are going through numerous changes. The people who were affected by the changes are sometimes upset about the changes, but they are even more upset if they are not told Why the changes matter. Not being told Why can be perceived as a sign of disrespect.

26. Initiative: Propose an Accomplishment
What: Propose an idea for an attractive and worthwhile future
Stay positive, focus on the future we want, not the one we want to avoid
When: Propose a “by-when” and use timelines as needed
Why: Show people the value of making it happen

27. Self-Assessment Worksheet
With regard to what YOU are working on… 1. 2.
Where can you benefit from using stronger Initiative conversations?
_____________________
Which of the 9 limitations do you have in your workplace?
Lateness
Poor work quality
Difficult people
Lack of teamwork
Poor planning and workload overwhelm
Insufficient resources and support
Complaints
Blaming
Gossip
Have participants fill out their Exercise: Limitations at Work handout. Answer two questions:
How serious are these limitations in your workplace? Rate each one on a scale of 1 (not a problem) to 5 (a big problem, costs resources or morale)
Why do you think they happen?

28. Tips: Initiative Conversations
Commit to the accomplishment, not the resources
Collaborate with useful authorities to align on the accomplishment and talk about resources
Plan your Initiative Conversation to get people’s attention and jumpstart new thinking
Don’t over-initiate: see things through
Most common mistake: Assuming people remember what they are working to achieve. They don’t, so remind them often.

29. Understanding Conversations: Include and Engage
Get people involved.
Clarify and explain.
It takes dialogue.

30. What Do People Understand?
People add their own meanings to whatever they hear
What does this do to your message?

31. Understanding Understanding
Understanding Conversations create the pathways to accomplishment
Explanation is not understanding – people must participate
People need help to get engaged – they rarely engage by themselves
Understanding does not cause action – that is not its purpose

32. Understanding Conversations
Engage people in creating the plan. Ask:
Who should be involved? Who are our customers? Suppliers?
Where are the people and resources we need?
How can we be successful? How does this change my job?
Then LISTEN…

33. Four Signs of Engagement
You are clarifying the initiative and improving the WHAT-WHEN-WHY
You are giving people problems and they are generating ideas and solutions
People are clarifying what they mean by certain words and phrases, or inventing new terms that make sense to multiple groups
It gets easier to stop or redirect negativity

34. The “No-Action” Trap
If they understand, they will take the right actions. Not true.
There is a particular trap that occurs with understanding conversations. We call it the “No Action Trap” because it results in no action being taken. The structure of the trap is, If other people know and understand what is required, needed, expected, etc, then they will take the right actions. But it doesn’t work that way. How many of you want to lose weight or be more physically fit. Do you already know how to do that? So, you know and understand what is required, but you aren’t doing it.
ASK: Can you see places where you have run into the “No Action Trap”? What were these?

35. Self-Assessment Worksheet
They seem to understand the initiative, but they aren’t participating in the discussion. Where are you waiting for someone to get engaged?
ASK: Do they have ideas on Who to contact? Where the resources might be? How the work could get done? 1. 2.
Which of the 9 limitations do you have in your workplace?
Lateness
Poor work quality
Difficult people
Lack of teamwork
Poor planning and workload overwhelm
Insufficient resources and support
Complaints
Blaming
Gossip
Have participants fill out their Exercise: Limitations at Work handout. Answer two questions:
How serious are these limitations in your workplace? Rate each one on a scale of 1 (not a problem) to 5 (a big problem, costs resources or morale)
Why do you think they happen?

36. Tips: Understanding Conversations
Use a Q&A format: you want their input!
- What needs to be done to accomplish this?
- What is a good schedule for us to do it?
- Are there any good measures of success?
Repeat as needed: What we want, When we want it, and Why it matters
Stand by your initiative, but be willing to collaborate for the goal and the plan
Bonus: New knowledge, new vocabulary, new solutions.

37. Performance Conversations: Ask and Promise
Make requests and get commitments.
Performance rarely happens spontaneously.
Performance Conversations:
Ask and Promise
Make requests and set up agreements.
Performance rarely happens spontaneously.

38. What is “Performance”? Taking an action Producing a result
Delivering a service or communication
NOTE:
Understanding does not cause performance.

39. The Foundation of Performance
Request
+ Promise
= Agreement
What action or result do you want?
By When do you want it?
Why does it matter?

40. The Likelihood of Taking Action
Condition
Likelihood of
Taking Action
If you hear an idea
If you consciously decide to adopt it
If you decide when you will do it
If you plan how you will do it
If you commit to someone else you will do it
10%
25%
40%
50%
SAY: How likely is it that someone will take action on an idea? There was a study done by ASTD in which they investigated this very question.
65% is around the average chance that people will take action - I obtained this from managers in my Mastery of Execution class.
In general, the managers tend to be more reliable than the people they work with.
65%

41. Make Requests Ask! Will you do What is wanted?
Be specific about the results
Will you do it When it is needed?
Give and get deadlines
Do you understand Why is it important?
People need a context
Yes, you have to ask.

42. Request: Canonical Form
I request that you do (or deliver) X (X = What) by time Y (Y = When) so we (or they) can Z (Z = Why) Do you accept my request?

43. Responses to Requests ACCEPT DECLINE COUNTER- OFFER
There are 3 ways to respond to a request:
Accept: Yes, I agree to provide the action or result at the time requested
Decline: No, I do not agree to do that.
Straight talk
Covert: Saying yes, Doing no
Counteroffer: No, I do not agree to that, but I propose an alternative.
Remember:
Saying “Yes” is a Promise
Saying No is Sometimes Necessary
ACCEPT
DECLINE
COUNTER-
OFFER

44. Make a Request – Examples
Will you update me on the status of the computer conversion project in today’s 3:00 pm staff meeting so that I am prepared to answer the CIO’s questions?
Can you approve my proposal before Friday so that I can submit it for Developmental Funding?
Please pick up a pizza on the way home from work today for Patty’s slumber party.

45. Hinting Is NOT a Request
Just look at that lawn –
it sure needs mowing! Um
Amazing how quickly
grass grows around
here.
Yeah
- wouldn’t take much effort
to pull out the lawn mower
and go round a
few times.
Uh huh.
sure would
be nice to
have it done!
Michael, you have
been sitting on your
butt for the last
two hours! – why
didn’t you
mow the
ruddy
LAWN?!!
Gee, Dad…
I don’t know.
… I would’ve
if you’d
asked me
to!
Just look at that lawn – it sure needs mowing.
Amazing how quickly grass grows around here.
Wouldn’t take much effort to pull out the lawn mower and go ‘round a few times.
Sure would be nice to have it done.
Michael, you have been sitting on your butt for the last two hours. Why didn’t you mow the lawn?
Gee dad, I don’t know. I would’ve if you’d asked me to!

46. Self-Assessment Worksheet
With regard to the things you are working on, identify and write out two requests you could make to get what you want from some individual or group.   1.   2.
EXERCISE: GETTING WHAT YOU WANT (fill out the form, then paired-share)
Identify one or two people and something you would like from each of them.
What do you want? Who can do that for you, or deliver it to you?
Write out the requests you would make to have them give you what you want.

47. When They Accept Your Request
Get a “good promise”. It’s OK to …
Ask: Are you clear on What, When, and Why?
Ask: Are you available?
Ask: Do you have the necessary resources?
Ask: Is there anything in the way?
Ask: Are you saying “Yes”?
Request + Promise = Agreement
PROMISE
Promises = Agreements for What-When-Why, and… Who-Where-How
Who can make the promise?
Where will the resources be? Where will the results go?
How Will the Job Get Done?
Request + Promise = Agreement means that the accomplishment AND resource ingredients are all present.
Are they clear on WHAT is being asked for, BY WHEN, and WHY?
It helps to have a Checklist or Work Plan
Are they available to do the work?
It helps if they check their calendars.
Do they have the necessary resources or know where to get them?
Is there anything that could prevent them from succeeding?
Are they accepting the request? Are they saying yes?

48. Listen to Their Promises…
I will update you on the status of the computer conversion project in today’s 3:00 pm staff meeting so that you are prepared to answer the CIO’s questions.
I will approve your proposal before Friday so that you can submit it for Developmental Funding.
Yes, I will pick up a pizza on my way home from work today for Patty’s slumber party.
All ingredients are included in the Request + Promise = Agreement:
What – When – Why – Who – Where - How

49. Promise: Canonical Form
I promise to do (or deliver) X (X = What) by time Y (Y = When) so we (or they) can Z (Z = Why) I accept your request.

50. Is There Anything YOU Want?
What promise could you make that would encourage others to help you get what you want?

51. Self-Assessment Worksheet
With regard to the things you are working on, identify and write out two promises you could make that might help you get what you want.   1.   2.
EXERCISE: GETTING WHAT YOU WANT (fill out the form, then paired-share)
Identify one or two people and something you would like from each of them.
What do you want? Who can do that for you, or deliver it to you?
Write out the requests you would make to have them give you what you want.

52. Performance Conversations: It’s About Agreements, Part 1
Confirm the Agreement
Your expectations are not their promises
Make sure they are not “saying Yes and doing No”
Eliminate uncertainty, for you and for them

53. Performance Conversations: It’s About Agreements, Part 2
Manage the Agreement
Help people remember
Make agreements visible – use charts
Make agreements audible – reference them in meetings

54. Tips: Performance Conversations
Learn from common mistakes:
Make clear requests
Get good promises
Confirm agreements by inquiring about schedules, resources, barriers, and opinions.

55. Closure Conversations: Create Endings
An incomplete past
can prevent a new future.
Closure Conversations: Create Endings
An incomplete past
can prevent a new future.

56. Closure Conversations
Create accomplishment.
“We finished the project!”
Create acknowledgment.
“Thank you for the work you did on ….”
Create completion.
“What worked? What didn’t?”
Close the book on past goals, requests, promises.

57. The Likelihood of Taking Action
Condition
Likelihood of
Taking Action
If you hear an idea
If you consciously decide to adopt it
If you decide when you will do it
If you plan how you will do it
If you commit to someone else you will do it
10%
25%
40%
50%
Remember this chart and how the likelihood of someone taking actions goes up to 65% when a promise is made.
But look what happens if you schedule a closure conversations with the person to whom you have made the promise – the likelihood of you taking action goes to 95%.
Getting Good Promises AND Following through with Closure Conversations BUILDS ACCOUNTABILITY. The promises tell me what I am accountable for (Result x by time y) and the closure conversations ask me to account for my promise.
65%
If you have a specific accountability-appointment with the person you made the promise to
95%

58. Build a Reputation for Closure
Make appointments to follow up
Let people know you are tracking your to- do’s (and their promises)
Create completion for yourself and others

59. Three A’s of Closure Acknowledge the facts: Say what’s so
Address persistent complaints and conditions
Appreciate the people
Recognize accomplishment & contribution
Apologize for mistakes & misunderstandings
Take responsibility, even if you didn’t “do it”

60. Applying the Three “A’s”
I am acknowledging that we are starting late. We agreed to begin at 9AM, it is now 9:10. I also want to thank each of you for being here. I know there is a lot going on with all the remodeling, and it would have been easy to use that as an excuse for not attending. Thank you for making it to this meeting. Finally, I apologize for not getting the agenda to you before yesterday, and for any misunderstanding or last-minute work that may have created for you.

61. Self-Assessment Worksheet
1 - What facts can you Acknowledge to complete old business in your workplace? What can you say to Appreciate people who have performed well at work? What mistakes & misunderstandings could you Apologize for?
EXERCISE: GETTING WHAT YOU WANT (fill out the form, then paired-share)
Identify one or two people and something you would like from each of them.
What do you want? Who can do that for you, or deliver it to you?
Write out the requests you would make to have them give you what you want.

62. Amend Broken Agreements
The 4th “A” of Closure
Amend Broken Agreements
Recognize
Report status
Repair
Amend Broken Agreements
Recognize that an agreement has been broken. State the broken agreement to the person or group who has broken the agreement. You don’t need to be critical or make anyone wrong – just the facts: we did not keep our promise.
Report on the status: What exactly is incorrect, missing, or obsolete?
Repair it: handle the consequences. What are the costs, to you or others, of the broken agreement? What can be done to make amends, or repair the damage?
Recommit by making a new agreement. What can you promise now? Can you promise to repair the damage, pay the costs, complete the agreement at a new deadline? If not, what can you promise?
Recommit

63. Self-Assessment Worksheet
4 - What broken agreements from the past could you Amend, to update them for today?   Recognize - What was the agreement? How did you know that a promise was not kept? Report - What exactly was incorrect, missing, incomplete, or out of date?  Repair - What were the costs, to you or others, of the broken agreement? What was – or could be - done to make amends, or repair the damage?  Recommit - What new agreement was – or is – appropriate? What could you now promise?
EXERCISE: GETTING WHAT YOU WANT (fill out the form, then paired-share)
Identify one or two people and something you would like from each of them.
What do you want? Who can do that for you, or deliver it to you?
Write out the requests you would make to have them give you what you want.

64. Closure Conversations – When to Have Them?
At the end of the project
At the end of the week
When a promise is kept
When a promise is not kept
On the deadline date, finished or not
When bad news arrives
When good news arrives
When things get interrupted. Etc, etc, etc.

65. Closure Conversations Create…
Clarity & progress in discussions
Accomplishment
Recognition of facts, people, and circumstances
The opportunity for a fresh start – no matter what conversation you’re having
Create completion. Debrief the promise, the project, the performance.
What worked? What didn’t work?
Close the loop on past goals, requests, and promises. Take things off the list.
This avoids the conversations about “Whatever happened to that idea, those people, ______?”
Create accomplishment.
We finished X. We did it!
Create recognition.
Thank you for the work you did on _______”
Create velocity.
Move on to the next thing.
Use the energy of accomplishment to envision a new future.
Re-start the cycle of productive conversations.

66. Using the Four Conversations
Initiative – Propose and launch a future
Understanding – Align on a future: Relationship, dialogue, problem-solving
Performance – Requests + Promises = Agreements
Closure – Complete the past, create accomplishment

67. Your Conversational Profile People have conversational patterns
According to a study commissioned by MCI Conferencing, in the U.S. more than 11 million meetings take place every day.
The average professional attends about 62 meetings a month, lasting roughly an hour each, which comes out to about eight workdays a month.
The professionals surveyed, on average, classified 50 percent of the time spent in those meetings as “a complete waste”.

68. Different Conversational Patterns
(Refer participants to their own Conversational Profile, from the last Exercise)
We have collected data from managers in the MBA classes. These practicing managers kept logs tracking which kinds of conversations they had.
Here are four patterns of the conversations of four different managers.
Overall, we have found that:
Initiative - The least used conversation – people tend to launch in to Understanding Conversations
Understanding - The most over-used conversation
Performance - The least developed conversation – very few people use deadlines or make “good promises”. People are not very specific about what they want or when they want it.
Closure - The most neglected conversation – people are not good at acknowledging some facts (they fear it will become “confrontational”) and they are not rigorous about completion that includes appreciation, apologies, and making reparations for the costs of broken agreements

69. “Inert” Profile
RESULTS: Very few
ATMOSPHERE: Frustrated, Conflict

70. “Clogged Pipes” Profile
RESULTS: Very few
ATMOSPHERE: Negative, Complaining

71. “All Talk, No Action” Profile
RESULTS: Few
ATMOSPHERE: Positive, Inclusive

72. “Gain With Pain” Profile
RESULTS: High, fast
ATMOSPHERE: Burned Out, Uncertain

73. Lots of conversations, but poor results.
Case: Michelle
Before
Lots of conversations, but poor results.
After
More deadlines and follow-up + more promises + more unreasonable = Back on track
From Michelle’s log, she saw she was using only two of the four conversations. When she practiced adding Initiative and Closure conversations, she got her project moving again.

74. Case: Jason Project 1: Moving ahead New kind of project, going well.
Project 2, Same people: Project stalled
“Standard” type project, missing deadlines.
Jason had the same team of people working on two different projects. On project 1, things were going well, and project 2 was not. The project where he used all four conversations was moving along well, but the other project was stalled.

75. Self-Assessment Worksheet
EXERCISE: GETTING WHAT YOU WANT (fill out the form, then paired-share)
Identify one or two people and something you would like from each of them.
What do you want? Who can do that for you, or deliver it to you?
Write out the requests you would make to have them give you what you want.

76. Change Your Talk: Benefits for You
From a study of 25 managers
Average # Items
Due FROM Others
% of Items Due Delivered on Time
Before
After 10
56% 10
95%

77. Change Your Talk: Benefits to Others
From a study of 25 managers
Average # Items Due TO others
% of Items Due Delivered on Time
Before
After 14
71% 18
98%

78. Revisit Worksheet #1
With regard to What you are Working on, identify any changes you see to make in your conversations that will improve the pace, coordination, or results of those projects.   1.  
EXERCISE: GETTING WHAT YOU WANT (fill out the form, then paired-share)
Identify one or two people and something you would like from each of them.
What do you want? Who can do that for you, or deliver it to you?
Write out the requests you would make to have them give you what you want.

79. Tips: Changing Your Talk
Consider letting people know you plan to add new conversations or ingredients to the way you talk. It can help them help you.
There is no “right way” to talk. Experiment with your conversations and ingredients.
Tone and timing matter. Think about the results you want from your conversations, and bring more attention to quality and respect in the way you interact.

80. Your Conversational Workplace: What is Missing?
According to a study commissioned by MCI Conferencing, in the U.S. more than 11 million meetings take place every day.
The average professional attends about 62 meetings a month, lasting roughly an hour each, which comes out to about eight workdays a month.
The professionals surveyed, on average, classified 50 percent of the time spent in those meetings as “a complete waste”.

81. Revisit Your Page #1 Worksheet
Lateness
Poor work quality
Difficult people
Lack of teamwork
Poor planning and workload overwhelm
Insufficient resources and support
Lack of accountability

82. Revisit Worksheet #1
Could conversations resolve some workplace barriers? Do you need more Initiative Conversations to clarify goals for the future? Understanding Conversations to help people get engaged?   Performance Conversations for clearer requests, promises and agreements ? Closure Conversations to complete the past and gain a sense of accomplishment ?    Or more Accomplishment Ingredients to remind people WHAT we want to accomplish, WHEN we want it, and WHY it matters?    Or more Resource Ingredients to engage people in seeing WHO needs to be involved, WHERE things are, and HOW to get things done?  
EXERCISE: GETTING WHAT YOU WANT (fill out the form, then paired-share)
Identify one or two people and something you would like from each of them.
What do you want? Who can do that for you, or deliver it to you?
Write out the requests you would make to have them give you what you want.

83. “Communication works for those who work at it.”
John Powell

84. Thank You / Closure
Today’s program is complete. You are terrific! We’re sorry we couldn’t serve champagne and caviar on the breaks. We’ll be available for your questions and ideas.
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