FUNDAMENTALS OF WRITING May 12, 2014

Today Descriptive Writing

Descriptive writing has various uses. A few examples: - Tourism (describing cities or resorts to potential customers) - Advertising products - Describing critical needs areas

Consider this situation You want to convince a potential students that KMU has a gret campus. How does this sound? “KMU’s campus is very nice. It is beautiful and big. There are many people.” Does KMU sound like a great place to be?

Source: busanhaps.combusanhaps.com Source: Source: members.virtualtourist.commembers.virtualtourist.com

Descriptive Writing Tells a “story” about a specific thing (object, person, place, event) - Appeals to the senses: sights, sounds, smells, taste, feel A good description is a “word picture” - The reader can imagine the object/person/place in his or her mind. - “Shows” more than it tells.

KMU’s campus With a partner: - We will visit several places on the campus today. - Take detailed notes of what you experience: - sights - sounds - smell - touch - feelings/emotion - actions happening around you - Write as many details as you can.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Subject: clown doll On my dresser is a toy clown on a unicycle- a gift I got last Christmas from a friend. The clown’s yarn hair covers its ears. The blue eyes are outlined in black with eye lashes coming from the brows. It has red cheeks, nose, and lips and its smile disappears into the ruffle around its neck. The clown wears a nylon costume. The left side of the outfit is blue, and the right side is red. The two colors join in a line down the center of the outfit. Around its ankles, and covering its shoes are pink bows. The white spokes on the wheels of the unicycle gather in the center and go to the tire so the wheel looks like the inner half of a grapefruit. The model is 24 centimeters tall. As a gift from my friend Tran, I see this figure every time I enter my room.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example This description is OK. - It gives the reader an idea about the clown, but it is lacking in descriptive style.

Descriptive Style Descriptive writing requires: - Specific details - Adjectives: size, color, shape, texture, smell, purpose, personality, location, etc. - Sensations and emotions. - Organization

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Subject: clown doll On my dresser is a toy clown on a unicycle- a gift I got last Christmas from a friend. The clown’s yarn hair covers its ears. The blue eyes are outlined in black with eye lashes coming from the brows. It has red cheeks, nose, and lips and its smile disappears into the ruffle around its neck. The clown wears a nylon costume. The left side of the outfit is blue, and the right side is red. The two colors join in a line down the center of the outfit. Around its ankles, and covering its shoes are pink bows. The white spokes on the wheels of the unicycle gather in the center and go to the tire so the wheel looks like the inner half of a grapefruit. The model is 24 centimeters tall. As a gift from my friend Tran, I see this figure every time I enter my room.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: On my dresser is a toy clown on a unicycle- a gift I got last Christmas from a friend.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: On my dresser is a toy clown on a unicycle- a gift I got last Christmas from a friend. Improved: On one corner of my dresser sits a smiling toy clown on a tiny unicycle--a gift I received last Christmas from a close friend.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: The clown’s yarn hair covers its ears. The blue eyes are outlined in black with eye lashes coming from the brows.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: The clown’s yarn hair covers its ears. The blue eyes are outlined in black with eye lashes coming from the brows. Improved: The clown's short yellow hair, made of yarn, covers its ears but is parted above the eyes. The blue eyes are outlined in black with thin, dark lashes flowing from the brows.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: It has red cheeks, nose, and lips and its smile disappears into the ruffle around its neck.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: It has red cheeks, nose, and lips and its smile disappears into the ruffle around its neck. Improved: It has cherry-red cheeks, nose, and lips, and its broad grin disappears into the wide, white ruffle around its neck.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: The clown wears a nylon costume. The left side of the outfit is blue, and the right side is red. The two colors join in a line down the center of the outfit.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: The clown wears a nylon costume. The left side of the outfit is blue, and the right side is red. The two colors join in a line down the center of the outfit. Improved: The clown wears a fluffy, two-tone nylon costume. The left side of the outfit is light blue, and the right side is red. The two colors merge in a dark line that runs down the center of the small outfit.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: Around its ankles, and covering its shoes are pink bows.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: Around its ankles, and covering its shoes are pink bows. Improved: Surrounding its ankles and disguising its long black shoes are big pink bows.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: The white spokes on the wheels of the unicycle gather in the center and go to the tire so the wheel looks like the inner half of a grapefruit.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: The white spokes on the wheels of the unicycle gather in the center and go to the tire so the wheel looks like the inner half of a grapefruit. Improved: The white spokes on the wheels of the unicycle gather in the center and expand to the black tire so that the wheel somewhat resembles the inner half of a grapefruit.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: The model is 24 centimeters tall. As a gift from my friend Tran, I see this figure every time I enter my room.

Descriptive Paragraph: Example Before: The model is 24 centimeters tall. As a gift from my friend Tran, I see this figure every time I enter my room. Improved: The clown and unicycle together stand about 24 centimeters high. As a cherished gift from my good friend Tran, this colorful figure greets me with a smile every time I enter my room.

Now, how about KMU’s campus?

Homework Write a descriptive paragraph about KMU’s campus(based on your notes from today’s class). Bring it to next class.

Descriptive Writing Tells a “story” about a specific thing (object, person, place, event) - Appeals to the senses: sights, sounds, smells, taste, feel A good description is a “word picture” - The reader can imagine the object/person/place in his or her mind. - “Shows” more than it tells.

Descriptive writing has a “direction”

Assignment 4 Write a descriptive essay. - Choose one of the following: 1. Describe a city or town you have been to in order to make it appeal to tourists. 2. Describe an underdeveloped area that requires aid to improve.