Dating

Introduction Incident #1 When did you have your first crush? How did you act? How long did the crush last? Had you ever talked to the person before you decided you Liked them?

Introduction Incident #2 Why was it so frightening for teenagers to talk on the phone with someone of the opposite sex? Have you ever experienced such a situation? How is the best way to handle phone calls? What can you talk about to ease the tension?

Purposes of Dating Socialization – to develop appropriate social skills; to practice getting along with others in a different setting Recreation – to have fun and enjoy the companionship of others; to try new and different activities Mate Selection – to see others and compare their personalities and characteristics

Purposes of Dating Try different things - to know what you really like - it’s boring to always do the same thing - there may be another one just as good or better out there Others influence our Choices Sometimes things are not what they seem

Avenue of Adolescent Attractions Getting Acquainted St. Conversations during class or in the hall, glances, smiles Friendship Blvd. Sharing common activities or friends, writing notes/texts, friendly shoves, hits or pushes; common work place or community groups.

Avenue of Adolescent Attractions Phone Call Circle Silly calls or calls for information about a school project or another friend; an occasional prank- call Group Socialization St. Sharing gossip, hugging, working on school activities or projects, going to the movies, mall, or to another person’s house to watch a movie or eat

Avenue of Adolescent Attractions Group Dating Drive Groups of 3+ girls and 3+ boys, meeting for specific activities – movies, dinner, sports, etc. Pairing off doesn’t occur; group members are simply friends Double Dating Drive 2 girls and 2 boys who have paired off go together for an activity of any kind; a romantic attraction is involved

Avenue of Adolescent Attractions Pairing Parkway 1 girl and 1 boy who have paired off go together for an activity of any kind. The couple know each other well, and want to spend time together alone.

Stages of Dating – #1 Gushy Want to please each other Write name on everything Tend to like the same things May not tell the complete truth Need to touch & hug; physical Co-equals in relationship Never late Lots of kissing and talking on the phone Swollen lips from so much kissing Forget your friends Everything is funny

Stages of Dating – #2 Playing Games Swollen eyes from crying (girls) Crossed out name Lots of ups & downs Remembering your friends again Trying to get the other person to do something Jealous Power struggles

Stages of Dating – #3 Goal Directed Trust Like to see them do things w/ their friends Don’t paw all over each other Want to see each other happy More mature & real Can show each other the good and bad sides Looking to make a commitment

You can move through all 3 stages Each couple will have their own speed You can skip stages or repeat them Stages of Dating

3 A’s of Emotional Needs Acceptance - receive with approval or favor Affection - fond attachment, devotion, or love Appreciation - gratitude; thankful recognition

3 A’s of Emotional Needs Love Language is The way one sends and receives messages of Acceptance, Affection, and Appreciation It is much harder than sexual expression

Dating Right of Ways 1. Be Yourself 2. An enjoyable, safe date 3. Have your values respected 4. Care for and protect your body 5. Establish and protect your reputation 6. Be free from guilt and fear 7. Say “NO” 8. Write 3 more dating rights you feel are important and that are not listed above

Dating