Chapter 6 Communication and Conflict Resolution

Chapter Outline  Verbal and Nonverbal Communication  Nonverbal Communication  Gender Differences in Communication  Communication Patterns and Marriage

Chapter Outline  Developing Communication Skills  Power, Conflict, and Intimacy  Intimacy and Conflict  Experiencing and Managing Conflict

Functions of Nonverbal communication 1. Convey interpersonal attitudes 2. Express emotions 3. Handle the ongoing interaction. 4. For communication to be clear, verbal and nonverbal messages must agree. 5. Proximity, eye contact, and touch are important forms of nonverbal communication.

Gender Differences in Communication  Wives tend to send clearer messages.  Husbands may give neutral messages or withdraw.  Wives tend to give more positive or negative messages.  Wives tend to set the emotional tone and escalate arguments more than husbands.

Communication and Marital Satisfaction  How well a couple communicates before marriage can predict later marital satisfaction.  Self-disclosure prior to marriage is related to relationship satisfaction later.  Whether a couple’s premarital interactions are negative or positive can predict later marital satisfaction.

Happily Married Couples  Are willing to engage in conflict in nondestructive ways.  Have less frequent conflict and spend less time in conflict.  Disclose private feelings to partners.  Express equal levels of affection.  Spend more time together.  Accurately encode and decode messages.

Four Styles of Miscommunication  Placaters - passive, helpless, and always agreeable.  Blamers - act superior, are often angry, do not listen, try to escape responsibility.  Computers - correct, reasonable, and expressionless.  Distractors - frenetic and tend to change the subject.

Barriers to Communication  Traditional male gender role - discourages the expression of emotion.  Personal reasons, such as feelings of inadequacy  Fear of conflict.

Trust  Belief in the integrity of a person.  In order for trust to develop: –A relationship has to have the likelihood of continuing. –We must be able to predict how our partner will behave. –Our partner must have other acceptable options available to him or her.

Constructive Feedback  Focuses on: –“I” statements. –behavior rather than the person. –observations rather than judgments. –the observed incidence of behavior. –sharing ideas rather than giving advice. –its value to the recipient. –the amount the recipient can process. –an appropriate time and place.

Communication Loop

Mutual Affirmation  The basis of good communication in a relationship.  Includes: –mutual acceptance –mutual liking –expressing liking in words and actions

Power  The ability to influence another person or group.  Traditionally, legal as well as de facto power rested in the hands of the husband.  Recently, wives have been gaining more actual power in relationships, although the power distribution still remains unequal.

Six Bases of Marital Power  Coercive  Reward  Expert  Legitimate  Referent  Informational

Types of Conflict  Basic conflicts challenge fundamental rules.  Nonbasic conflicts do not threaten basic assumptions and may be negotiable.  Situational conflicts are based on specific issues.  Personality conflicts are based on the need to release pent-up feelings or on fundamental personality differences.

Major Sources of Marital Conflict  Sex  Money  Housework

Conflict Resolution  May be achieved through negotiation in three ways: –Agreement as a freely given gift –Bargaining –Coexistence

Family Problem-Solving Loop

Resolving Conflict  Happily married couples resolve conflict through paraphrasing, validation, and clarification.  Unhappy couples use confrontation, confrontation and defensiveness, and complaining and defensiveness.