He waka eke noa We are all in this together. Fryslan, The Netherlands.

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Presentation transcript:

He waka eke noa We are all in this together

Fryslan, The Netherlands

Skûtsje

Aotearoa, New Zealand

Honouring difference

Mourning A set of customs, ceremonies, rituals, behaviours prescribed by a culture’s tradition

Aristotle: “Phronesis” Practical wisdom “and what is as important as knowledge” asked the mind “understanding, feeling and seeing with the heart” answered the soul

Grieving subjective state of feelings rising spontaneously

Be aware of, honour and respect previous life experiences of loss, don’t under- estimate resilience, explore areas of strength

DENIAL BARGAINING ANGER DEPRESSION ACCEPTANCE “On Death and Dying” 1969 Elisabeth Kubler-Ross,

Spiritual wairua Physical tinana Intellectual hinengaro Emotional whanau experience world with senses experience world with feelings experience world with intellect experience world with intuition

te whare tapa wha Dr. Mason Durie, New Zealand Aotearoa 1982

“Kali, Goddess of Death.”

Empathy Understanding another, and thus gaining an insight into their worries or distress.

Neurons and empathy There is no real independent self, aloof from other human beings, inspecting the world, inspecting other people. You are, in fact, connected not just via Facebook and Internet, you’re actually quite literally connected by your neurons.” Prof. Vilayanur Ramachandran, neuroscientist, University of California, San Diego, USA

Compassion “Is a sustained and practical determination to do whatever is possible and necessary to help alleviate….suffering.” Sogyal Rimpoche The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

terror management theory protection from death anxiety and/or real or perceived threat to integrity of self. creates a cultural anxiety buffer and individual conception of worldview and faith. creates out-groupers and in-groupers. More self-worth/self esteem equals more tolerance Ernest Becker anthropologist, 1973 “The denial of Death” Greenberg, Solomon and Pyshynsky 2011

IP S E

expertosis a belief that the professional knows better than the patient what they need Smart.R, 1994: “expertosis: is it catching?” Australia and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy, 15 (1), 1-9

The life I touch for ill or good will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt Frederic Buechner

To mend To transcend suffering To restore sound-ness Healing

MAURI “the life force or essence of the emotions, the essential quality and vitality of a being or entity” (Te Aka Maori) “get the Mauri right, that gets the relationship right” Arena Munro, Ngati Rehia, Te Tii 2012

Self-reflection, the importance of clearly knowing our own inner landscape

Image: Chris Piper Awareness of the fact that we don’t know another persons’ inner landscape Making no assumptions or judgments, being in a place of open curiosity

Curiosity wonderment The most beautiful experience in the world is the experience of the mysterious. Albert Einstein

“Playing God” “ she said” Glenn Colquhoun 2002