Reminder: Please choose a “challenging” topic for your project. If it cannot be done by the end of this semester, please show us what you have done toward your goal.
Personal Power 4 (part 2): Control of focus
Our feelings are determined by the physical body and what we focus our attention on. Example of disappearance of pain because of change in focus. Two ways to control our focus: what we focus on and how we focus on something.
Fact: We can only focus on very limited things going on at this moment. Example: Do you notice your heart beat, eye blinking, or wind blowing, … etc Our brains are very good at deleting “unimportant things”. A camera can only focus on a specific scene at a time, and your brain does this too.
There are always good and bad things happening at the same time, but people tend to focus on the bad ones. Being able to focus on something is a natural gift to us and we’d better use it correctly! How can people who seem to have everything but still be unhappy? Because they only focus on what they lack or what doesn’t match with their expectations. Example of conversation between my brother and myself.
Focusing on what you don’t have may be a way to keep you moving forward, but it should be done with a positive attitude. Ultimate failure: Being able to find painful feeling on something no matter how good it is. You have the control! You can change how you feel by changing your focus. Turn off the automatic pilot system and start to take control!
Practice: Picture of a woman.
How we feel and what we focus on is determined by how we evaluate things. We evaluate things by asking questions. When we think of something, we usually ask questions like “what does this mean?” or “what should I do?”.
Your brain, the “super computer”, is able to find an answer to any question you ask. If you can ask only one question to God, will you ask “why am I so stupid” or “how can I be smarter”? You will get an answer to any question you ask even if the question does not make sense. The super computer (human brain) may even make up an answer for you.
Why does this happen to me? This is the most disempowering question! Replace the question by “how to make the situation better?”! All these questions you ask in your mind determine your focus and how you feel. The habitual feelings you have are the effect of the habitual questions you ask. By the way, if you keep asking “why do I need to go to work” or “why do I need to study hard”, you can also think in a positive way. That is, you keep doing the same things because they are the best options for you!!!
PPresupposition and over generalization in a question. NNews reporters/journalists are good at asking presupposed questions. PPower question: How can I become “…” and enjoy the process of reaching that goal? BBy asking this question, your brain will not only find a way to reach your goal but also try to link pleasure to doing it. TThe quality of your life comes down to the quality of questions you ask on a daily basis.
WWhen bad things happen to you, you should ask the question “how can I learn and keep moving under this situation?”. IIf you just ask “why did he/she do this to me?” or “why do I have a miserable life?”, you will never get any useful answer and you will be trapped into a dead end. FFeeling sad/angry after someone did something to you is like punishing yourself for someone’s bad behavior.
IIf you know someday you will laugh at the current situation, why not start laughing now? TThe way to do it is to change focus by asking right questions! TThe moment when a question is asked, the focus is changed.
Think about it, if you master this technique, you will have a happy life. But if you do not apply it, you may end up like someone who committed to suicide. The choice is yours! In order to feel sad, you need to focus on sad things and simultaneously delete happy experiences, which is not easy! The truth is, we can create a happy/sad feeling instantly by changing focus. (Example: using pictures in your mind)
IImportant belief: You already have the resources you need to accomplish lots of things. YYou just need to get access to them by asking good questions. Example: If you ask “can I really do this?”, what you create is doubt and you will get the resources of doubt. BBut if you ask “how can I accomplish this?”, your brain will search for answers from your past experiences and other possibilities.
AAll successful people have the ability to stay in a positive mood by habitually asking right questions! TThere is NO capability difference between you and those successful people. TThe only difference is that they learn to control their focus of mind and take actions consistently. Example: mmemory enhancement techniques.
YYou think something is difficult or impossible because you focus on how it cannot be done. WWhatever you focus on, you are right! (Particles or waves of light.) Example: Many students are good at both studying and other activities. But how come only very few of them have the same colorful life after they graduate? BBecause most people focus on how difficult it is to have the same life after graduation.
Questions: What makes you happy in your life right now? How to make yourself feel great if you want a happy life? How do the joyful experiences make you feel? What else? What are you proud of in your life right now? … Get some feelings from asking them! (Do you feel any state change after asking these questions?)
Homework: 1. Develop 3 questions you are going to ask yourself every morning for the rest of this month that will cause you to go into positive and powerful states. 2. Write them down and put them next to your bed or on your bathroom mirror. 3. Every morning ask yourself these 3 questions and come up with at least two answers for each of them.