Parenting a child with ADHD The ultimate challenge This powerpoint has been created to help parents understand ADHD and give them tools to help their children CLAUDIA CALONJE EMAIL:cccalonje@gmail.com

Caring for a child with ADHD will be a lifetime challenge Untreated or inadequately addressed ADHD often severely impairs learning, family life, work life, social interactions and driving safely Yet, most of those with ADHD who receive love , empathy , compassion and adequate treatment function quite well. Have the courage and love to take on this challenge

YOU ARE NOT ALONE Surround yourself with family , friends and professionals that are willing to listen empathetically and who are generous to offer a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold yours or your child’s, a space where you or your child can find temporary refuge when needed. You and your team WILL make a positive difference to this child’s dreams , to his present and future life!!!

ACKNOWLEDGE AND ACCEPT ADHD is NOT the result of poor parenting or poor schooling There is a scientific biological explanation Genetics and environmental factors pre-dispose to this condition Genetic factors interacting with pre-natal, peri-natal and post-natal experiences together cause significant impairment in the brain

WORKING TOGETHER Accept the challenge as an opportunity to give your best IT IS NOT A CURSE DON’T LET IT BECOME A CURSE Inform yourself and COMMUNICATE with everyone involved Create and develop a network of support

EVERYONE NEEDS TLC Accept you are doing the best you can as a parent, teacher, carer Reflect on your attitudes and behaviours (KNOW THYSELF) Share your thoughts, feelings and needs Look after yourself and get support from others

HOW YOU CAN HELP THE CHILD You are a partnership!!! Help build self-esteem and confidence Help them verbalise their feelings in an honest and open way Help them help themselves and find their own solutions Help them understand their own need and those of others

HOW??? Unconditional, non-judgemental love,and understanding Listen actively Acknowledge their feelings (paraphrase what they have said without criticism or sarcasm) Try and understand how they are feeling and acknowledge these feelings

LISTENING AND COMMUNICATING Sometimes there are hidden feelings that the child cannot express, help them find them Mind your attitude when communicating displeasure children are very good at sensing what we are really feeling Give descriptive praise (tell them exactly what they have done well or not done wrong)

Life has its upside down moments

KEEP GOING , HANG IN THERE Stop taking bad behaviour personally (easier said than done, but it works!!) Sarcasm, criticism and violence from you will come back to you as the child learns to use those same tools with vengeance This retaliation destroys EVERYONE involved

CHILD NEEDS Positive attention Love and affection Feel a sense of belonging to: family, group of friends, school, team Security Feel useful Approval Clear parameters

NEGOTIATIONS AND REWARDS Negotiation works well as the child feels involved in his own behaviour management system Set clear realistic non-negotiable rules that can be measured Rewards should be more privileges rather than material benefits (staying up a bit later on a Friday, being trusted to work independently)

REWARDS Be consistent with child’s duties, and responsibilities linked to rewards DO NOT take away reward already won as punishment Only reward good behaviour

YOUR NEEDS Appreciate what you do for your family and/or your learners Ask for support , help and listening time Remember to say NO softly but firmly Take time out for yourself Say what you really want and need COMMUNICATE, NEGOTIATE, COMPROMISE

MEDICATION AND THERAPY Medication offers relief IT IS NOT A CURE Medication improves a variety of the executive functions impaired Neither the medication nor the best behavioural treatment program is going to modify the brain impairments Medication, a behaviour modification program and psychotherapy are the best combination

REALISTIC HOPE Medication alone is not the answer!!! IT MUST BE A TEAM EFFORT Support from your family Support from your school Support from your GP Support from your Mental health professional Support from your local ADHD support group

MAGIC FORMULA OR CURE? There is no magic formula or cure for ADHD The only magic we have is ourselves Making sure we are well informed, well supported and do everything in our power with love , understanding, empathy and compassion…