How to be a Godly Husband Lesson 4 MAN UP BIBLE SERIES How to be a Godly Husband Lesson 4

The Real World Recently I watched a movie entitled, “Still Alice.” Julianne Moore plays a women with early on set Alzheimer's. Her husband must fulfill his vows to: “love for better or worse until death does us part.” If sounds easy until you have to do it. The vows we make on that wedding day must be carried out over a lifetime and it can be real work. There is a discipline to being a Godly Husband and we will spend some time looking at concrete steps that each man must take in order to be all that God has called him to be. The call of a Christian Marriage is to otherness. It is the sacrifice of love for the ultimate good of the one you love above even yourself. It is the ability to take the back seat even when you could take the lime light. That kind of love is rare indeed. Lets look at what the Bible says:

The Real Word Ephesians 5 Instructions for Christian Households 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Real Talk Think back over the vows you made to your wife. Are you still committed to them? Are you still willing to love your wife as Christ loves the church? What does that kind of love look like? Why do so many men divorce their wives?

Real Steps Lessons from Ephesians 5: We need Sacrificial Love. (v.25) Includes Death, Suffering, Intercession. We all have the survival instinct to save ourselves above all else. You see it in drowning situations where the one drowning pulls the others around them under water to save themselves. This kind of love gives up all rights to our lives. We Need Sanctifying Love. (V.26,27) Marriage is to move us to holiness. Closer to God. The closer you are to your wife the closer you will be to God and vise versa. Try it and be amazed. Self –Love – (v. 28-30) Not Narcissus but a Love for the other’s point of view in such great measure that it grows beyond your own wants and desires. A new way of living! Try these: Commitment - Col. 3:14 – Remain true regardless of how you feel. Fidelity – I am and will always be faithful to you. Communication – Ask you wife what she craves most --- Communication is the #1 Answer. Elevation – You must be committed to building up your wife. Deference – Doing what your wife wants as often as you do what you want. Time – Spend time with her. A date night is a must!

Time To Close I wanted to close this lesson with a story of a man who loved his wife above all. Not just in words but in his actions. This man was the President of a very well respected Christian college. His wife was suffering from dementia. Here are his farewell words: “My wife is filled with terror when I am not with her. It is clear to me that she needs me full time. I made this decision 42 years ago when I promised to care for her in Sickness and in Health. I do this not out of duty but because of my great love for my wife. She is a delight to me, her childlike dependence and confidence in me, her warm love and her happy spirit make it a joy to care for her as she has for me these past 40 years. I do not have to care for her, I get to care for her. It is my highest honor to care for such a wonderful person.” Now that it real love! Time to MAN UP!