Triggers: Keeping Things Positive SESSION 7

Homework Review Child Centred Play  Was it hard?  Was it different?  How did your child react?  Did you enjoy the time?  Can this become a routine?

In Groups Discuss:  What triggers you when parenting?  Are there common recurrences?  Pick one trigger to work on.

Pushing your buttons  Where are you vulnerable?  Why?  What are your un-trigger options?  Mindful parenting  Get a plan  Don’t talk  Stay neutral

Options  Ignore Undesirable Behavior  Structure Environment  Direct Behavior  Offer Choices  Encourage Problem Solving  Take Time  Do not personalize the child ’ s problem  Know your priorities (pick battles)

In Groups discuss  Identify and challenge your trigger  Thoughts to reframe  Brainstorm ways to cope

Positive Discipline  Goal is to increase the frequency of desired behavior.  Catch them doing it right  Give feedback immediately  Positive before negatives  Increase frequency of rewards/feedback  Practice forgiveness  Keep a disability perspective

Encouragement  Is a perspective of respect and growth as an individual.  Communication provides messages that relay:  I trust you and I know you can  How you feel is important  Recognizes effort and that learning is a process. Making mistakes is how you learn.  Appreciates ones role and contribution. You count and things work better when you help.

Praise  You want to acknowledge success.  Focus on the child ’ s perspective and recognize the positive behavior without judgment or evaluation.  Possible underlying messages that could be relayed.  You must please me to be worthwhile.  You must meet my standards to be successful.  You must be superior to others no matter what to be valued.  You are only good when you do what I want.

Communication Tool: ALIVE  Ask Questions  Listen  Use “ I ” Messages  Validate Feelings  Be aware how you are expressing yourself

Crisis Prevention  Empathy  Clarify  Respect Space  Aware of non-verbal  Permit reasonable venting  Know and enforce limits  Try not to over react  Ignore challenges  Use the least restrictive method

Think…  Behavior  Solution  Positive  Small  Flexible  Future

Stress  Assess the shoulds  Set goals and priorities  Assess time  Assert self and communicate needs  Care for self  Stress management strategies  Change approach (Do it?)

Homework  Find a trigger and work on it  Can you engage your child ALIVE  What do you do to relieve your own stress? Is it enough?