Managing difficult behaviour

Introduction Labelling people is often an unconscious act (rather than describing their behaviour). We shift attention from what the person DID to who they are. People cannot change who they are / their personalities. They CAN change how they behave

Difficult employees (and how to handle them) colleagues-and-how-to-manage#9 colleagues-and-how-to-manage#9 Belak, T. (2004) How to handle difficult behavior in the workplace Managing difficult behavior. %20Managing%20Difficult%20Behaviour.pdf %20Managing%20Difficult%20Behaviour.pdf

Some difficult behaviours

Hostile / aggressive behaviour  Know it all  Opinionated  Defensive  Arrogant  Dictator  Bully  Demanding  Critical  Limited People skills  Complainer  Ego-centered  Negative  Takes credit for all the work  Does not respect others  Does not follow the rules  Condescending  Angry  Ignores other people’s ideas  Blames others  Uses offensive body language

Super-agreeable  Yes person  Over optimistic  Takes things personally  Passive-aggressive  Crying at work  Emotional  Too talkative  Weak listening skills  All ideas, no action  Wastes time  Goes along to keep peace  Would not defend ideas publicly  Complains behind one’s back  Takes on too much work  Puts in long hours  Does not meet deadlines  Agrees to projects, but cannot fulfill results

Indecisive behaviour  Does not meet deadlines  Procrastinates  Un-organised  Do not speak up in meetings  No new ideas  Not innovative  Afraid of change  Fearful of loosing job  To perfectionistic  To analytical  Negative  Focused on what won’t work  With holds information  Work filled with mistakes  Work late arrival  Unengaged  Leaves work early

How to start describing behaviour rather than labelling people. 1)Identify behaviour 2)Change behaviour to descriptive words 3)Consider the underlying reasons for behaviour 4)Look at impact on performance and productivity

An example Identify behaviour – Lazy, apathetic and not engaged Change to descriptive words – Does not contribute in meetings Underlying reasons for behaviour – Shyness, lack of confidence Impact on performance and productivity – Frustrates co-workers and excluded from meetings

Some rules

Dealing with difficult behaviour General rules Active listening Assertiveness “Future tense feedback”

General rules Do not respond when there is strong emotion present. Do not take conversation personally Focus on desired outcome NOT negative feelings and past history Talk about behaviour NOT personality State feelings calmly and candidly Use humour if appropriate to relax a tense filled environment

Use active listening Be aware of others needs, concerns and fears Be aware of your own non-verbal behaviour! Be aware of other persons non-verbal behaviour Put yourself in the other person’s shoes Try to hear the situation from their perspective Ask questions to gain understanding Concentrate Make eye contact Do not interrupt

Individuals who practice active listening skills exhibit the following behavior:  Allow others finish what they are saying without interrupting them  Ask questions to gain more understanding  Pay attention to what others are saying by maintaining comfortable eye contact  Remain open-minded about others’ having a right to their own opinion  Use feedback and paraphrasing skills

Be assertive This is accomplished in two ways – “I” statements – Clarity

“I” statements Speak from your point of view. Creates honesty and build trust Enhances personal accountability – I would appreciate your feedback – I heard you were unhappy – I was upset

Clarity Be specific and say what you mean

Future tense feedback Providing feedback about future performance Highlight the points of agreement Describe the behaviour and its effect Suggest ways of working together in the future