Clarissa Simplified By DSTE

This is the story of a perfect little angel named Clarissa…

And a plotting rake named Lovelace.

Clarissa writes letters to her friend the saucepot, and Lovelace writes to his brother rake. His name is Belford, and he has a heart. Anna

Lovelace stops by to court Clarissa’s sister, but he becomes much more interested in Clarissa. Big Sis won’t admit she wanted Lovelace, but she did. Also, she’s always been jealous because Clarissa’s such a perfect little angel.

Clarissa’s brother, the sword, comes back from Scotland to find Lovelace courting his sister. He’s filled with anger and violence and has an unrelenting need to control people. Also he hates Lovelace.

Lovelace and Clarissa’s brother get into a duel. With swords. Because everyone carried one back then, which was very safe. Clarissa’s brother loses, but Lovelace doesn’t kill him.

For some weird reason, Clarissa’s family is convinced that she will marry Lovelace unless they marry her off to someone else first. Clarissa has refused every previous suitor. She would rather stay single and pure. I am all powerful! All must obey! I’m a bit trodden upon… (She’s also got an aunt and a couple of uncles, but they’re not all that important) This is Clarissa’s father and mother

Lovelace continues to pursue Clarissa. This makes her family mad. They insist she marry the man they’ve chosen for her. She doesn’t like him. At all. I will have her! I only answer his letters to be polite.

You will marry him! I’d rather not… Naughty girl! You must obey your father! (Even though this was all my idea) I can’t marry a man I hate. But I am a good girl, really!

Clarissa’s family punishes her by forbidding her to write letters, even to her bestest friend in the entire world, receive visits, or leave the house. I can’t even go to church! Isn’t that the most tragic thing you’ve ever heard?

Marry him! But I’d be miserable forever! You must obey! I’m sorry You love Lovelace, don’t you? Admit it! 20 letters later….

Marry him! Scheme Scheme I, Joseph Lemon, servant to Clarissa’s family, will keep the entire family turned against her. Because I believe you completely when you say that it will be the best thing for Clarissa in the end!

And so it continues. On and on and on and on… Volume 1 ends. 30 more letters pass. Lovelace threatens violence to her family if she stops writing to him in secret.

You will marry him on Wednesday whether you like it or not! Over a month later… I will help you escape, Clarissa. You can stay with any of the ladies of my family, and I will only see you if you want me to come! (I’m lying, but you don’t know that) What should I do? I’m so conflicted!

She agrees to meet with Lovelace, but, at the last minute, she decides to tell him she can’t go after all. It’s wrong to run away from home, no matter what! Oh, no! Did you hear that? They’re coming! They’re going to catch us together! There will probably be a duel, but I promise that I’ll try not to kill too many of your family members…

And so, frightened out of her wits, Clarissa runs out the gate. And once she’s out the gate, she has no choice but to climb into the carriage with Lovelace. I’m a terrible, terrible person! Anything that happens now will be all my fault!

And so the REAL plot gets started… Five letters into Volume 3.