WORKING WITH MALE SURVIVORS 1 © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved |
The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. WHAT IS 1IN6? 2 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
HOW CAN THIS IMPACT MY HOTLINE EXPERIENCE? 3 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES Books Lew, Mike. (2004) Victims No More: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse. Gartner, Richard. (2001) Betrayed as Boys: Psychodynamic Treatment of Sexually Abused Men 4 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES Websites 1in6.org MaleSurvivor.org JimHopper.com RichardGartner.com Arte-sana.com 5 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES Articles A Consumer’s Guide to Therapist Shopping: guide.html guide.html The Men’s Project: ID=120&Lang=En&Parent_ID=¤t_slide_nu m ID=120&Lang=En&Parent_ID=¤t_slide_nu m 6 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
A NOTE ABOUT LANGUAGE Through this training, we use the term male survivor to describe male callers. It’s important to remember that the visitor may not identify as a survivor, a victim, or male. Allowing the visitor to decide what language they are comfortable using is empowering and very important to building rapport with the visitor. 7 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
WHAT MIGHT BE DIFFERENT ABOUT WORKING WITH MALE SURVIVORS? 8 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
DEALING WITH A MISCONCEPTION What are some of the consequences of the idea that men can’t be victims of sexual violence? Fewer resources for men Men are less likely to reach out for help If men do reach out for help, they may be met with disbelief or other unhelpful reactions. Support systems may be more limited Service providers may not be trained on helping male survivors 9 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
WILL YOU THINK I’M A PERPETRATOR? The Vampire Syndrome Experiencing sexual and physical abuse does increase risk for violent adult behavior The vast majority of men who were sexually abused never commit a sexual offense or become violent 10 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO “BE A MAN”? 11 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
SEX, GENDER AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION Sex is defined by the biological organs we are born with, most often male or female Sexual orientation is who someone is attracted to, often described in terms of gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight Gender (or gender identity) is a person’s understanding of themselves as a man, a woman or another gender identity 12 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
DOES THIS MEAN I’M GAY? 13 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
SKILLS Don’t judge. When someone is expressing homophobic thoughts or feelings, this may be challenging! Avoid assumptions. Use the same language that the caller uses. Stay where the caller is. Don’t rush to give them a label. Maintain a caring attitude. 14 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
MALE SURVIVORS WHO HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED BY WOMEN May find less support May find that people express envy or encouragement rather than understanding that this is a form of abuse May find that people assume the woman is the victim 15 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
Low self- esteem Difficulty establishing and maintaining healthy intimate relationships Anxiety Difficulty in sexual functioning Depression Substance abuse Problems with trust 16 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION Shame Feeling of embarrassment when talking about sexuality Unsure of how the hotline staff/volunteer will respond Wondering if their experience is normal What might be some of the concerns of a male survivor who is calling the hotline because he is experiencing sexual dysfunction? (Sexual dysfunction might include things like low sexual desire, premature or delayed ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.) 17 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
DEPRESSION If a male survivor seems depressed, what are some things you will want to explore? Suicidal thoughts Support systems Resources Safety Men are more likely to die by suicide than women. Ask visitors directly about suicidal thoughts. Remember that you won’t cause someone who isn’t suicidal to become suicidal by asking. 18 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
FIRST ATTEMPT AT REACHING OUT FOR HELP What skills will be particularly helpful when working with someone who is reaching out for the first time? Allow the caller to set the pace of the conversation Reflect the language that they use to describe their experience Don’t push for information. Allow them to share what feels comfortable for them Respect their coping mechanisms 19 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
SEXUAL COMPULSIVITY MAY INCLUDE PORNOGRAPHY USE AND/OR SEXUAL ACTIVITY WITH PARTNERS Fear that the hotline staff/volunteer may reject them based on these behaviors Worry that they will be told it’s “not that big of a deal” Concern that they’ll get a lecture rather than support 20 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | | What concerns might a male survivor have in talking about sexual compulsivity with SupportLine staffer/volunteer?
ADDICTIONS What additional challenges might male survivors who have substance abuse problems face in disclosing their history and getting help? 21 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | | May be less likely to be believed or have their experiences taken seriously Service providers may insist on treating substance abuse problems before addressing sexual abuse
PROBLEMS IN RELATIONSHIPS If a male survivor is calling the hotline because he is experiencing problems in relationships, what are some areas that you will want to assess? 22 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | | What motivated the caller to call the hotline today? Are they only calling because someone issued an ultimatum? Are they looking for help for themselves, for their relationship or are they not sure what they want at this time?
LIMITED RESOURCES Validating their feelings of frustration– there ARE limited resources for male survivors! Exploring existing resources that the caller may have dismissed or overlooked Encouraging the caller to advocate for better services for male survivors What skills may be helpful in working with a male caller who is frustrated by the limited resources available for male survivors? 23 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
FEARS OF BECOMING AN ABUSER What might be some important things to discuss with a caller who is concerned about becoming an abuser? 24 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | | Safety first Reality check Encouragement Empowerment
GENDER IDENTITY OR “WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR ME AS A MAN?” What skills may be helpful in working with a male survivor who is questioning their gender identity because of their sexual abuse history? 25 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | | Universalizing – they are not the only man who is dealing with these questions. Leverage Masculine Values – emphasizing that it takes strength and courage to confront these issues and reach out for help.
FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS Support for themselves Information Resources Help for their loved one What are some of the reasons that a friend or family member of a male survivor might call the SupportLine? 26 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | | 27 Remember… YOU CAN’T MAKE SOMEONE GET HELP!
SELF-CARE Working with male survivors can be challenging! Lack of resources Severity of abuse Pass the call if possible Male survivors might request a male or female volunteer/staff member Remember that this has nothing to do with your skills 28 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |
CLOSING What is one thing that you’ve learned about male survivors in this training? 29 The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences in childhood live healthier, happier lives. © in6, Inc. All Rights Reserved | |