Conflict Management & Violence Prevention

Bell Ringer #1 *Textbook: Conflict Resolution Read Pages / SSR -Conflicts, pg 49-50 -Conflict-Resolution Skills, pg 51-52 -Mediation, pg 53 -Prejudicial Behavior, pg 54 **Notebook Page 1 -What do you think? Agree / Disagree

Types of Conflict Conflict- A disagreement between two or more people or between two or more choices. Types of Conflict Intrapersonal conflict -Any conflict that occurs within a person. Interpersonal conflict -Any conflict that occurs between two or more people. Intragroup conflict -Any conflict or disagreement between members of your own group. Intergroup conflict -Any conflict or disagreement between member two or more groups.

Conflict Resolution Skills Remain calm. Set a positive tone. Define the conflict. Take responsibility for personal actions. Listen to the needs and feelings of others. List and evaluate possible solutions. Agree on a solution.

MANAGE Don’t Try to Resolve It’s the best choice when: someone is very angry or explosive and not likely to think clearly. the situation isn’t important enough to warrant talking about it. there is some type of danger involved, such as a weapon. the conflict could result in you, someone else, or something being hurt or destroyed, such as a suicide, vandalism, or threats of harm to self or others. voices are loud and threatening. accusations are made.

Peaceful Conflict Resolution Respect the right to disagree. Express your real concerns. Share common goals and interests. Open yourself to different points of view. Listen carefully to all proposals. Understand the major issues involved. Think about probable consequences. Imagine several possible alternative solutions. Offer some reasonable compromises. Negotiate mutually fair cooperative agreements.

“Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.” ― Martin Luther King, Jr. “Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.” ― Martin Luther King, Jr.

Assignment: Notebook Page 2 Student Worksheet U4L41 -Practicing Negotiation in a Conflict Situation

Bell Ringer: #2 Textbook: Read & Discuss Read pages: Reducing the Risk of Violence, pg 656 Violence, pg 657-658 Risk Factors, pg 659 Protective Factors, pg 660 Assertive Behavior & Violence, pg 661-662

Activity: Notebook Page 3 Student Worksheet U4L6 1 -My Favorites: evaluate the media’s impact on violence Article: Mitch Albom –What is the media’s role in shootings?

Violence In Our Society Violence- the use of physical force to injure, damage, or destroy others, oneself or property. Violence happens for many different reasons, most are unsuccessful ways of trying to solve conflicts.

Types of Violence Homicide- the killing of one human being by another. Suicide- the intentional taking of one’s one life. Assault- the physical attack or threat of attack. Fighting- taking part in a physical struggle. Sexual Assault- Unwanted/illegal sexual penetration or touching Sexual harassment- Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct that creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive environment. Domestic Violence –abuse used by one person to control the other. Child Abuse –Harmful treatment of a minor that can cause injury or psychological damage. Parent/Elder Abuse –abuse of parents by their children.

Injury That Causes Most Deaths Which of the following injuries cause the most deaths for people 5-19 years old? 1. Violence and physical assault Motor vehicle crashes 3. Suicide 4. Fire and other unintentional injuries

Youth Violence In 2010, 4,828 young people ages 10 to 24 were victims of homicide—an average of 13 each day. Homicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24 years old. Among homicide victims 10 to 24 years old in 2010, 86% (4,171) were male and 14% (657) were female. Among homicide victims ages 10 to 24 years old in 2010, 82.8% were killed with a firearm.

School Violence In a 2011, nationally youth in grades 9-12: 12% reported being in a physical fight on school property in the 12 months preceding the survey. 16% of male students and 7.8% of female students reported being in a physical fight on school property in the 12 months preceding the survey.2 5.9% did not go to school on one or more days in the 30 days preceding the survey because they felt unsafe at school or on their way to or from school. 5.4% reported carrying a weapon (gun, knife or club) on school property on one or more days in the last 30 days. 7.4% reported being threatened or injured with a weapon on school property one or more times in the last 12 months.

School Violence 30% of U.S. students in grades 6 to 10 are involved in moderate or frequent bullying. 1 out of 4 kids are Bullied. 8% of students miss 1 day of class per month for fear of Bullies.

Assignment: Study Guide Questions: pg 663; 1-8, 27

Bell Ringer: #3 Notebook Page 4 Article: Read & Discuss “Brawl leads to charges nine years later” Class Discussion: What influences your thinking about violence? -from homework,

WCS: THE STUDENT CODE OF CONDUCT IS ENFORCED -While students go to or from school -On school property at any time -At all school-sponsored or approved events or activities on or off campus -On a school bus for any purpose -Whenever a student engages in remote conduct or activities, for example by texting, e-mail, internet, or other electronic means, which has an adverse impact on school safety, including the need to maintain good order during school

Students who commit the following offenses in violation of state law are subject to suspension or expulsion and face possible criminal charges from Warren Police Department: Disruptive Behavior: Language, mild profanity, gestures or actions which produce distractions, frictions, or disturbances that interfere with the effective functioning or safety of the staff, students, or the school. Verbal Assault against another student, against a school employee, volunteer or contractor on school property, in a school vehicle, or at a school related activity. VIOLATIONS

VIOLATIONS Fighting: Aggressive physical contact between two or more individuals. Assault or Battery/Intimidation/Incitement: A threat or attempt to do harm to another without a weapon, with or without physical contact and without injury, or the act of promoting or promoting or encouraging acts of violence. Bomb threats or other similar threats directed at a school building or other school property.

How to prevent violence: Avoid guns and alcohol and other drugs. Resist becoming a member of a gang. Learn and practice the skills of communication and conflict resolution. NEGOTIATE & COMPROMISE

Use Assertive Behavior: Honest expression ideas, feelings and decisions while respecting the rights and feelings of others. People with assertive behavior confront disrespectful behavior and do not ignore it. People with assertive behavior expect to be treated with respect and do not allow others to take advantage of them.

Stopping School Violence Refuse to bring a weapon to school, refuse to carry a weapon for others, and refuse to keep silent about those who carry weapons. Report any crime to school authorities or police. Report suspicious or worrisome behavior by other students. You may save lives. Learn how to manage your own anger effectively. Settle arguments with words, talking it out. Help others settle disputes peacefully. Welcome new students and help them feel at home in your school. Introduce them to other students. Get to know someone new to you each week.

Group Activity: Notebook Pages 4-9 Student Worksheet U4L7 1 Case Studies A-E -What Difference Does It Make?

Bell Ringer #4 -Textbook: Read & Discuss Read pages: Hazing, pg 675 Bullying, pg 676-677 Child Abuse, pg 678

Bullying The willful, conscious desire to hurt another and put him/her under stress" Or The repeated intimidation of others by the real or threatened infliction of physical, verbal, written, electronically transmitted, or emotional abuse, or through attacks on the property of another

Harassment Under the United States Code Title 18 Subsection 1514(c)1. Harassment is defined as: “A course of conduct directed at a specific person that causes substantial emotional distress in such a person and serves no legitimate purpose"

Harassment/Bullying: One or more aggravated or injurious gestures, comments, written, verbal or electronic, repeated unsolicited communications (e‐mail, instant messaging, text‐messaging) or physical acts that are reasonably perceived as being motivated either by an actual or perceived characteristic, such as race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression or a mental, physical, or sensory handicap, or by any other distinguishing characteristic. Harassment/bullying includes any other behavior that creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive environment.

Teasing vs. Bullying With teasing, the students have equal physical or psychological power and usually they are friends who remain friends. With bullying harm and humiliation are intended and felt by the victim. There is an imbalance of physical or psychological power between bully and victim. Bullying action is usually repetitive, occurring over a period of time. Teasing can easily escalate into bullying.

The Most Effective Way to Stop Bullying: 1. Report the behavior to a school authority figure or parent 2. The bully is immediately counseled and corrective action is taken

Students are encouraged to report any conduct or contact that makes them feel uncomfortable, is bothersome, or is contrary to a stable, positive learning environment.

Report to School Authority Figures Bus Drivers Coaches Volunteers School Police Officers Principals Teachers Staff Lunch Workers Custodial Staff

The Perpetrator, the Bystander and the Upstander • Perpetrators join in the bullying, escalate the harassment, or initiate new attacks on the target later. • Bystanders attempt to remain uninvolved in the situation, often by looking on silently or finding an excuse to walk away. • Upstanders take action to oppose the bullying in some way. They might intervene directly and tell the tormentors to stop, but they need not put themselves at risk in order to be helpful. Upstanders might also respond in other ways such as making friends with the targeted student or seeking help from adults.

The Bystander

The Bystander Physical and verbal violence (bullying) is not a spectator sport--just watching means you are part of the problem! The aggressor often needs an audience for her/his violent behavior. Take away the audience and it becomes much more likely that the aggressor will stop. You can make a difference: the choice is yours. Suppose you see someone acting violently-whether physically, verbally or sexually. What can you do as the bystander?

Well--What can you do? Become an Upstander! Be clear. Be firm. Tell the aggressor(s) to stop Refuse to join in and don't support the aggressor(s) by teasing, yelling, pushing, clapping Intervene as a group. The bully typically will leave the victim alone and not turn on another student if there are several standing together saying “quit it.”

Stand Up for the Silent ! Remind the aggressor(s) about the dangers of bullying and violence, like kicked out of school, benched or thrown off the team, grounded or maybe even arrested Refuse to be a silent bystander. Get some help from a trusted adult. Offer support to bullied teens.

How to Help a Friend If your friend is a victim of bullying or violence and makes you promise not to tell, it's hard to know what to do Yet, bullies keep bullying as long as it works--as long as it makes them feel more powerful If you report the violence, it helps stop it. You may save innocent people from getting hurt--maybe even seriously

What You Can Do if Bullied Don’t lose your cool and do talk to a parent or an adult you can trust, such as a teacher, school counselor, principal or any school authority as soon as possible. Walk away and do not blame yourself for a bully's actions. Act confident. Hold your head up, use humor, stand up straight, make eye contact, and walk confidently. Be assertive! Try to make friends with other students. Avoid situations where bullying can happen. If necessary, take steps to rebuild your self-confidence. Do not resort to violence or carry a gun or other weapon. 1. Many teens who are targets of bullies do not talk to adults because they feel embarrassed, ashamed, or fearful, and they believe they should be able to handle the problem on their own. Others believe that involving adults will only make the situation worse. While in some cases it is possible to end bullying without adult intervention, in other more extreme cases, it is necessary to involve school officials and even law enforcement. Talk to a trusted adult who can help you develop a plan to end the bullying and provide you with the support you need. If the first adult you approach is not receptive, find another adult who will support and help you. 2. You can do a few things, however, that may help if a bully begins to harass you. Do not retaliate against a bully or let the bully see how much he or she has upset you. If bullies know they are getting to you, they are likely to torment you more. If at all possible, stay calm and respond evenly and firmly or else say nothing and walk away. Sometimes you can make a joke, laugh at yourself, and use humor to defuse a situation. 3. A bully will be less likely to single you out if your project self-confidence. 4. A bully is more likely to leave you alone if you are with your friends. This is especially true if you and your friends stick up for each other. 5. If at all possible, avoid being alone with bullies. If bullying occurs on the way to or from school, you may want to take a different route, leave at a different time, or find others to walk to and from school with. If bullying occurs at school, avoid areas that are isolated or unsupervised by adults, and stick with friends as much as possible. 6. Bullying can affect your self-confidence and belief in yourself. Finding activities you enjoy and are good at can help to restore your self-esteem. Take time to explore new interests and develop new talents and skills. Bullying can also leave you feeling rejected, isolated, and alone. It is important to try to make new friendships with people who share your interests. Consider participating in extra-curricular activities or joining a group outside of school, such as an after-school program, church youth group, or sports team. 7. Carrying a gun will not make you safer. Guns often escalate conflicts and increase the chances you will be seriously harmed. You also run the risk that the gun may be turned on you or an innocent person will be hurt. And you may do something in a moment of fear or anger you will regret for the rest of your life. Finally, it is illegal for a teen to carry a handgun; it can lead to criminal charges and arrest.

Bell Ringer #5 - Read Notebook Page 12 Student Worksheet “Common Sense on Cyber Bullying”

- Video Clip: “Ricardo’s Story – Making Fun of Others Online” http://www.commonsensemedia.org/educators/lesson/turn-down-dial-cyberbullying-and-online-cruelty-9-10

Cyber Bullying "Cyberbullying" is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. Typically, it occurs among teens who know each other from school. Two kinds: Direct attacks (messages sent to kids directly) and cyberbullying by proxy (using others to help cyberbully the victim, either with or without the accomplice's knowledge). Supervision is lacking in cyberspace!

Cyber Bullying It has to have a minor on both sides, or at least have been instigated by a minor against another minor. Once adults become involved, it is plain and simple cyber-harassment or cyberstalking. Adult cyber-harassment or cyberstalking is NEVER called cyberbullying.

What do you think about Cyber Bullying? From your personal experience and from what you have heard from friends, how widespread do you think cyber bullying is in our school and community? Do you think it’s something teens should do something about? If so, what ideas do you have? What are the consequences for the target of the cyber bullying? The video stated that asking for help isn’t a weakness, but a sign of strength. Who would you ask for help? What are the legal consequences for someone who is cyber bullying?

Forms of Cyber Bullying Flaming: Online fights using electronic messages with angry and vulgar language Harassment: Repeatedly sending nasty, mean, and insulting messages Denigration: “Dissing” someone online. Sending or posting gossip or rumors about a person to damage his or her reputation or friendships Impersonation: Pretending to be someone else and sending or posting material to get that person in trouble or danger or to damage that person’s reputation or friendships

Outing: Sharing someone’s secrets or embarrassing information or images online Trickery: Tricking someone into revealing secrets or embarrassing information, then sharing it online. Exclusion: Intentionally and cruelly excluding someone from an online group Cyber stalking: Repeated, intense harassment and denigration that includes threats or creates significant fear

Although cyber bullying inspires the same physical and emotional reactions in victims as stalking, it's much more subtly nuanced - victims can become bullies and shift back again Even kids who would never bully or tease someone in person can get seduced by the anonymity of the Internet and feel the power they might get when they put someone down Those who take part in cyber bullying can lose their ISP or IM priviledges

What can you do? Never give out or share personal information numbers Use Netiquette Never send a message to others when you are angry Never open a message from someone you don’t know Do not keep this to yourself! You are NOT alone! Tell an adult you know and trust!

Inform your Internet, Instant Messaging or mobile phone service provider Inform your local police Don’t reply to messages from cyberbullies!!! Do not erase or delete messages from cyberbullies

Cyber Bullying Let others know that you won’t allow cyber bullying: Support the victim. Make it clear you won’t be used to torment others. Show you care about the feelings of others. Many cyber bullying campaigns include some form of hacking or password or identity theft, serious laws are implicated. Law enforcement, including the FBI, might get involved in these cases.

- Video Clip: “Stacey’s Story – When Rumors Escalate” http://www.commonsensemedia.org/educators/lesson/turn-down-dial-cyberbullying-and-online-cruelty-9-10

Bell Ringer #6 -Textbook: Read pages: Protecting Yourself from Physical Violence, pg 670 Self defense, pg 671 Self defense at home, pg 672 Self defense in public, pg 673 Self defense in social situations, pg 674

PERSONAL PROTECTION Make yourself a "tough target." Don't think that it can't happen to you. Should you resist? Everyone and every situation is different. Always be aware of your surroundings. If being followed or stalked, call 911 or drive directly to a police station.

IF YOU’RE ATTACKED Keep your head. Stay as calm as possible and evaluate your options and resources. It may be more advisable to submit than to resist and risk severe injury or death. You will have to make this decision based on the circumstances. But, don't resist if the attacker has a weapon.

IF YOU’RE ATTACKED Keep assessing the situation as it is happening. If one strategy doesn't work, try another. Possible options include negotiating, stalling for time, distracting the assailant and fleeing to a safe place, verbal assertiveness, screaming, and physical resistance. You may be able to turn the attacker off with unusual behavior such as throwing up, acting crazy.

PERSONAL SAFETY AWARNESS Safety in Parking Lots Safety in your Home Safety in your Vehicle Safety while Walking Safety while Shopping

SAFETY IN PARKING LOTS A petite woman was getting into her car in a California parking garage when a man came up to her, put a knife to her throat and told her to get in the car. She knew that whatever harm he’d do to her in a parking lot would be worse if she went with him. She pushed the knife away but he put it back. The woman shoved her purse at him and ran for help. The man jumped into her car and sped out of the garage.

SAFETY IN PARKING LOTS Parked cars provide ideal hiding spots for a crouching, stealthy predator to close in on you unless you’re especially aware of parking lot safety. Also beware of cars cruising the lanes; they can suddenly stop and jump out to attack or rob you.

SAFETY IN PARKING LOTS In a parking garage in Illinois, a man pushed a woman into her car, then punched and raped her. A security guard, one level below, heard nothing. The garage owners say they couldn’t afford security cameras or to pay someone to sit and watch the monitors. If parking garages do have surveillance equipment, it’s often obsolete.

PREDATORS’ FAVORITE TARGETS Someone looking friendly, timid, lost, absent-minded, or intoxicated – thus more easily manipulated. Someone wearing earphones or distracted with a cell phone – unaware of surroundings. Someone unaware she's being followed until she's isolated.

PREDATORS’ FAVORITE TARGETS Someone parking close to trucks that prevent witnesses from seeing you – predators seek that kind of cover. Someone “handcuffed” with both arms loaded with packages or a child. For better parking lot safety, insist that a male store employee escort you.

SAFETY IN YOUR HOME Never Open the door automatically after someone knocks. Require Identification of all repairman, salesmen, and deliverymen BEFORE you open the door. If In doubt, call the police BEFORE you open the door Leave a light on in the house and over the door when you are away If your home is broken into while you away DO NOT GO IN. Go to a neighbors home and call the police. Stay there until the Police arrive. Do not leave door keys hidden outside.

SAFETY IN YOUR HOME Never give the impression that you are home alone- If the doorbell rings, shout, “I’ll get it” BEFORE you go to the door. Leave lights on in several rooms and not just the one that you are in. Use your door locks. The best door locks won’t protect you if they are not locked. Close your shades or drapes completely.

SAFETY IN YOUR HOME Women who live alone should list only their last name and initials in phone directories and on mailboxes If a stranger asks to use your phone, Do NOT permit them to enter your home Offer to make the call for them If they insist upon coming in DON’T LET THEM CALL THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY Report suspicious or mysterious phone calls to the police. Do Not give any information to an unknown caller. When you arrive home by taxi or are dropped off, Request that the driver wait until you are safely inside and have signaled that all is well. Never put names on answering machines- Never say you are not home

SAFETY IN VEHICLES Keep your gas tank full and your car in good running condition. If you have a flat tire, Drive on it until you reach a place of safety. Use your cell and call for assistance. If you are being followed, Don’t Drive Home- Go to the police station, open gas station, or drive-in restaurant. Blow the horn until someone comes to assist you. DON’T leave the car unless you are certain that you can get inside the building. Carry a phone ----Call the police! Video Clip: http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/other-shows/videos/worst-case-scenario-road-rage.htm

SAFETY WHILE WALKING If possible – go with a friend. Walk deliberately / Don’t stroll. NEVER HITCHHIKE!!! At night- Try to stay on well lighted streets. Avoid building entrances, parks and other potential hiding places. Walk near a curb. If someone suspicious is behind you cross the street. Begin to formulate defensive actions before he gets close to you.

SAFETY WHILE WALKING THREE BASIC RULES Stay alert. Keep your mind on your surroundings, who's in front of you and who's behind you. Don't get distracted. Walk purposefully, stand tall, and make eye contact with people around you. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, leave.

SAFETY WHILE WALKING Walk facing traffic- If approached by someone in a car walk the other way. It may be difficult or impossible for him to turn around to pursue you. Take down the license number of the car if you can-but don’t stop to do so. Keep your purse closed and carry it close to your body. Don’t walk alone.

SAFETY WHILE SHOPPING Carry purses with straps close to your body and away from aisles especially when walking in the parking lot. If someone grabs your purse, let it go. Your safety is more important than your property. Carry minimal cash and valuables, preferably in your front pockets, and wear minimal jewelry. Using debit or credit cards is much safer than carrying a lot of cash.

Bell Ringer #7 -Textbook: Read & Discuss Read pages: Mental & Emotional Abuse, pg 679- Domestic Violence, pg 680 Dating Violence, pg 682 Recovery from Violence, pg 683-684

Domestic Violence Abuse is the intentional injury of one person by another. Physical Emotional Sexual Verbal Usually when one person has perceived power over another.

You might be in an abusive relationship if… You are afraid of your partner when he or she is angry You are afraid to disagree You are constantly apologizing for your partners behavior You have to justify everything you do to avoid anger. Your partner puts you down and then tells you he or she loves you.

Someone you know might be in an abusive relationship if you notice… He or she is missing school and/or withdrawing from activities His or her grades fall.

Someone you know might be in an abusive relationship if you notice… His or her moods change. He or she might be depressed, withdraw from friends and family, act out, be secretive, seem insecure and put themselves down, seem unable to make independent decisions. He or she starts to wear baggy clothes or clothes which cover most of his or her body. He or she has signs of injury, such as bruises, cuts, broken bones.

You might be an abuser if… You constantly check up on your partner. You feel like you cant be away from your partner. You are extremely jealous or possessive. You have an explosive temper. You hit, kick, shove, or throw things at others.

You might be an abuser if… You constantly criticize or insult your partner. You have threatened your partner. You damage things when you and your partner are together. You have forced or coerced your partner to have sex. You have threatened to hurt your partner or someone else. You have threatened to hurt yourself if your partner breaks up with you.

Phases of an Abusive Relationship Tension builds: The abuser becomes edgy and tense. He or she seems easily irritated. Their partner may feel scared or nervous and try harder to keep the abuser happy.

Phases of an Abusive Relationship Explosion The abuser becomes more aggressive and verbally and/or physically attacks his or her partner. The partner may feel like he or she deserved the abuse and will most likely try to cover it up.

Phases of an Abusive Relationship The Honeymoon: The abuser tried to keep the relationship together. He or she promises to change and says it won’t happen again. The abuser can be apologetic, passionate, and often romantic. Over time this stage may disappear. (Temporary lessening of abuse)

How to Avoid Abuse 3 R’s Recognize: learn to recognize abusive behavior in its many forms. Resist: should someone use or try to use offensive touching, suggestive talk, or inappropriate behavior, resist in any way you can be assertive. Report: get away and tell someone.

Unwanted/illegal sexual penetration or touching Sexual Assualt Define sexual assault: Unwanted/illegal sexual penetration or touching What’s it called in Michigan? CSC-Criminal Sexual Conduct What is the age threshold? 16

Sexual Assualt What is consent? Permission -YES -No means No! What is coercion? To persuade an unwilling person to do something by using: Force, threats, seduction, blackmail. Sexual abuse and rape is not about sex but about? Power & Control

Review _______ is the intentional injury of one person by another. Abuse What are the 4 types of abuse Physical, Emotional, Sexual, Verbal Is a girlfriend keeping their boyfriend from their family and friends abuse? YES! List other examples of abuse What are the 3 phases of an abusive relationship 1-Tension Builds 2-Explosion 3-Honeymoon

Read Textbook: Protecting Yourself from Sexual Violence, pg 686 Rape, pg 687-690 Sexual Abuse, pg 691 Sexual Harassment & Stalking, pg 692-693 Recovery from Violence, pg 694-696 Assignment: -Textbook Study Guide pg 697 1-18

Violence Hotlines Domestic Violence National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7223) Suicide National Suicide Hopeline: 800-SUICIDE (784-2433) Remember: QPR School Violence The Center to Prevent School Violence, SPEAK UP: 866-SPEAK-UP (773-2587)

Violence Hotlines Sexual Violence National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE(4673) Teen Dating Abuse National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline, loveisrespect: (866) 331-9474 General Safe Horizon’s Rape, Sexual Assault & Incest Hotline, Crime Victims Hotline: 866-689-HELP (4357) Remember: 9-1-1

Conflict Management & Violence Prevention Unit Test