FAMILY HEALTH (Chapter 19) Ms. Meade Health 10

Family   a group of people who are related by blood, adoption, marriage, or have a desire for mutual support and who are committed to each other. Family Structures Vary (List 3) – –Traditional Married Families – –Single Parent Families – –Families Built around Partnerships

Family Structures Vary   Healthful family: family that has all the skills needed for loving, responsible relationships   Dysfunctional family: a family that lacks the skills to be successful and function in healthful ways

Dysfunctional Family Characteristics   Chemical Dependence   Other addictions   Perfectionism   Violence   Physical Abuse   Emotional Abuse   Neglect   Sexual Abuse   Abandonment   Mental Disorders

No Family is Perfect   We are all human, and make mistakes.   Each person has strengths and weaknesses. Even you!   HOWEVER, in healthful families, children can learn from their parents.   What can you learn? 12 things!!!

Healthful Families –Self-Respecting Behavior: Don’t harm self and are not self- centered –Healthful Attitudes Toward Sexuality:  Feelings and attitudes a person has about his/her body, sexual identity, and sexual orientation.  Part of self-esteem and body image. –Effective Communication (Communication Activity) –Clear Sense of Values  Parents act consistent with the values they teach.

Healthful Families –Make Responsible Decisions  Evaluate options before deciding  Weight the consequences  Parents set guidelines and expectations –Resolve Conflicts: Listen to both sides and find a solution; No violence –Effective Coping Skills; Emotional strength, share feelings –Delay Gratification: It’s not appropriate to be sexually active in teenage years because it protects your HEALTH

Healthful Families –Express Affection, Integrate Love –Give and Receive Acts of Kindness  Do things for your family, without expecting anything in return  Be thankful when someone does something nice for you –Work Ethic: Work hard and “know your role”  Do your best and do not give up! –Respect Authority: do not break guidelines, know there will be consequences Being a loving family member takes EFFORT, PRACTICE and GOOD INTENTIONS.

Dysfunctional Family   Members relate to one another in destructive and irresponsible ways Chemical Dependence: Obtain and use drugs You are at risk of becoming a drug user Other Addictions: (List 4) Eating disordersTelevision ExerciseThrill-seeking GamblingWorkaholic ShoppingPerfectionism

Dysfunctional Families Perfectionism: Parents are overly critical of themselves and their children – –Children feel inadequate and insecure – –Behavior is self destructive and harms relationships Violence: Controlling; keep peace by avoiding disagreements – –Children blame themselves (It is NOT YOUR fault)

Dysfunctional Family  Abuse: Controlling and moody; children are afraid and confused –Want to feel loved: deny feeling about abuse, cover up abuse, blame self, and believe they deserve to be abused  Abandonment: Absence can cause pain, suffering and confusion, and difficult getting close to others.  Mental Disorders: feel responsible and guilty – –May allow disorder to dominate family life – –NOT YOUR FAULT.

Important Terms  : a compulsion to control, take care of and rescue people by fixing their problems and minimizing their pain  Codependence: a compulsion to control, take care of and rescue people by fixing their problems and minimizing their pain  : deep and meaningful sharing between 2 people  Intimacy: deep and meaningful sharing between 2 people

Dysfunctional Family CAN IMPROVE:  Give love and respect as much as possible  Change your own behavior  Individual and Group Therapy  Recovery programs  Tell Someone  ** We are all different; you don’t know what is happening in someone else’s home.  Be sensitive to others; get to know your friend’s families.  Be alert, talk to your parents.

Changes in the Family   Who is in my extended family? – –All relatives in addition to parents, brothers, and sisters – –Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins – –Stepparents, stepbrothers, stepsisters

Marital Conflict Resolution   The process in which married partners: – Identify their problems – Agree upon solutions – Reestablish intimacy – –Attitude of each partner is vital – –Conflict resolution is impossible if both partners are not committed to restoring the quality of the marriage (this goes for any relationship)   50% of first marriages end in divorce   Separation: the living apart of marriage partners   Divorce: a legal way to end a marriage –Court decides the terms with respect to property, custody, and support

6 Stages in the Divorce Process  Stage 1: Marriage deteriorates; show less affection and begin to detach; each others needs are not being met.  Stage 2:  Stage 2: One or both partners seek legal counsel Begins the process of discussing thegrounds for divorce   Different options for ending marriage Annulment: decided that what was a legally binning marriage actually is not Dissolution: marriage partners decide terms with respect to property, custody, support

6 Stages in the Divorce Process  Stage 3: Issues regarding property and support payments are finalized.  Stage 4: Issues of custody, visitation rights, and child support are negotiated   Single custody: one parent keeps legal custody of a child or children   Custodial parent: parent with whom a child or children live; parent has the legal right to make health and wellness decisions   Joint custody: both partners keep legal custody of a child or children   Visitation rights: guidelines set for the visitation of children by the parent who does not have custody

6 Stages in the Divorce Process   Stage 5: Each partner establishes a new identity with family, friends, and coworkers – –Difficult stage   Some delay telling others   Fear old and new relationships   Stage 6: Partners made emotional adjustments to the new lifestyle that results from being divorced –Affects both marriage partners and children

Family Adjustments  Initial reaction of children is vulnerable and fearful. – –Youngsters—Difficult sleeping, nightmares – –Teens—Loss of concentration, cling to others   Lack of contact with one parent – –Grades drop – –Depressed – –Sexually active – –Drug and delinquent behavior

Suggestions for Dealing with Divorce   Practice stress management   Avoid using alcohol and drugs   Recognize becoming sexually active will not fill your emptiness   Choose healthful ways to express anger   Be aware of your feelings of rejection and betrayal   ASK FOR HELP!

Parental Dating   Can occur before or after divorce   Children fantasize about parents getting back together – –May hope for reconciliation for years!   Children may resent time and attention given to new person – –Jealousy – –Attempt to disrupt the relationship 2 Traits of Children of Divorce: Fear of rejection and betrayal

Family Adjustments Single-custody Family   Child/children live with one parent – –Term used rather than single-parent family   More likely to live with mother   Single parent house: economically challenged – –May lack resources: good medical care, clothing, food, and shelter Joint-custody Family   May live with mother and have less contact with father or vice versa.   Unless there is another male figure, they will not experience a good male role model or vice versa.   If parent works outside home, less time to supervise and be involved

Suggestions for Teens   Recognize the financial pressures on your parent   Schedule time to be with your parent   Look for a mentor who can be a role model   Pay attention to your grades   Discuss your fears and concerns with your parents

Remarriage Blended Family/Stepfamily   A family consisting of: – –The marriage partners – –Children that one or both of them had previously – –Children they have by their marriage to one another Greatest Conflicts   Determining which set of rules children will follow –Discipline!   Adjusting to a new budget   The success of a blended family often depends on how stepsiblings interact. –Clear guidelines must be set by parents. –Many teens resent their stepparent

Help Dealing with Remarriage   Respect the new guidelines for behavior.   Help your family follow a budget.   Interact in helpful ways with stepbrothers and stepsisters.   Interact in healthful ways with your stepparent.