Parenting Styles and Stats

Parent One who gives birth to a child One who nurtures and cares for a child A guardian or protector

Activity On a sheet of paper please list some GOOD traits of parents In a second column, list some BAD traits of parents

The choice to be a Parent Parenting is a full time job Many parents choose to have children for the many rewards it brings Love New experiences Children bring enthusiasm to life

Responsibilities How does having a child change a couple’s life? What areas of their life have to be in order before they should consider having a child?

Physical Needs Providing food, shelter, clothing and medical care This may involve taking classes or working extra hours Meeting physical needs takes time as well Grocery shopping, laundry, doctor’s appointments

Intellectual Needs Parents need to help children learn Parent should provide: Educational tools like toys Challenged to develop intellect Help and tutoring during the school years

Social Needs Parents teach children to communicate, share, and get along with others What social etiquette did your parents teach you?

Emotional Needs Parents guide children in developing healthy emotions Parents need to teach children that emotions are not a negative thing, but that they can affect decision making A parent’s love should be constant and UNCONDITIONAL Parents need to show love openly, so that children understand how to show others that they love them

Values You learn values from your parents Values are standards that guide your actions What values have you learned from your parents?

Self-Esteem Self esteem is liking yourself and feeling that you are good and worthwhile Parents teach children to love themselves no matter what, and help them build their self esteem Parents should make children feel important by treating them as much as possible like they would their peers Not interrupting, asking their opinions and allowing them to make choices

Self Esteem Have you ever felt like someone did not treat you the way you wanted to be treated? Did it affect your self esteem?

Factors to Consider Before becoming a parent, adults should consider these factors: Are they socially ready? Are they financially ready? Are they in good health? Are they ready for the responsibility?

Guidance The greatest role a parent will play is a guide for the child Guidance includes all words and actions that a parent uses that may affect the child’s behavior This could be positive or negative

Discipline Discipline includes all methods parent use to teach acceptable behavior The main concern of discipline is teaching Discipline should teach the child self control, teaching limits, and enforcing the limits

Punishment Punishment differs from discipline in one major way: Punishment is a consequence for unwanted behavior that isn’t motivated by teaching, but by fear, humiliation, or power Punishment is not an effective way to parent because it lacks the key factor in guiding children: It does not teach them to learn self control or make their own choices

Example A Child is told many times to keep their glass away from the edge of the table. The child continues to put their glass on the edge and knocks it over with their arm. To discipline this action, a parent could tell the child they must clean it up themselves so that they learn that their choice led to them having to clean it up To punish this action, the parent might pull the child out of the chair and spank them or tell them they must leave the table and cannot have more dinner.

Example A teenage that is able to drive takes their mom’s car without permission and gets into a minor fender bender. To discipline this action, a parent might have the teenage pay for part or all of the repairs by getting a job or doing chores around the house so that they learn that their action had a financial consequence To punish this action, a parent might make the teenager stand on the street with an embarrassing sign

Parenting Styles There are three types of parenting styles These styles are defined by the type of guidance given They are: Authoritarian Authoritative Permissive

Authoritarian Authoritarian parenting is like a government run by a dictator- there is a person in charge and everyone else has to fall in line without asking questions Authoritarian parents are extremely strict and unyielding They will not allow for the children to have an opinion or say in how they will be raised

Example A child tends to be a just a little messy. An Authoritarian parent would demand that the child’s room look a certain way with no exceptions. They would not allow personalization that fell outside of their preferences. If the parent came in to a messy room, they would yell and empty out all of the drawers and make the child refold everything until it was perfect.

Disadvantages The disadvantage to Authoritarian parenting is that usually punishment, not discipline, is used Children grow up being forced to everything according to their parent’s wishes and do not learn to express themselves or have healthy emotions The parents will use fear and humiliation to keep children in line Children will learn that they don’t have the right to their own opinion

Advantages There are no real advantages since the children will only comply out of fear or threat of humiliation or punishment

Authoritative Authoritative parents are similar to a government run by a democracy Everyone has a say and even though some members of the family have more power than others, everyone has an opinion and is open to speaking it Authoritative parents use discipline to teach and guide

Example A teenager is getting older and thinks that their curfew is too early. They would be able to talk to their parents about it, and would not be punished for wanted to change the rules. The parents would consider and come to a decision that takes the teenagers opinion into account.

Advantages Advantages of Authoritative parenting include: The child learns self esteem from having a voice There is still structure and guidance since the parents have the final say Discipline is used instead of punishment Children learn early on how to resolve conflict effectively

Disadvantages None

Permissive Parenting Permissive parenting is similar to anarchy There is no structure, no rules, and very little guidance from parents Parents appear more like friends than adults in charge Children will make all of their own decisions and parents will not argue with it

Example Teenager wants to get her nose pierced even though it’s against school rules. The parent would allow the piercing and then when the teenager got in trouble at school, the parent would talk to the teenager about how unfair it all is and attempt to be their friend instead of teaching them how to follow rules.

Disadvantages Children thrive from structure, and will feel insecure in this environment Children are not capable of making adult decisions and will suffer more natural consequences When the parent attempts to be a friend, they are not there when the child needs actual guidance Children may put themselves into dangerous situations

Advantages Children will have some sense of their own importance, although it will be skewed due to no structure

Activity Which parenting style would you use and why?