Etiquette What is Etiquette? Etiquette relates to a code of behaviour among people within an organisation, group or society

But have you ever wondered how it all began? Who made these rules?? Are they really that important???

We have an expert who will guide you through this journey of finesse and grace. Her name is Eti!

Etiquette As the story goes, Louis XIV’s gardener at Versailles was faced with a serious problem – he could not stop members of the nobility from trampling about it in delicate areas of the king’s garden. He finally attempted to dissuade their unwanted behaviour by posting signs called etiquets which warned them to “Keep off the grass”. When this course of action failed, the king himself had to issue an official decree that no one could go beyond the bounds of the signs. Later, the name “etiquette” evolved and the name was given to a ticket for court functions that included rules regarding where to stand and what to do.

So what does Etiquette involve?  Knowing/ respecting people’s customs and traditions  Observing certain behaviour and actions when in a group of people  Observing appropriate manners Always Remember: Your behaviour and manners should consistently correspond with your well groomed image

These are some common slip-ups which we often make  Poor listening skills  Disregard of shared property and others’ space  Embarrassing others  Poor table manners  Inappropriate praise of others

 Inappropriate language  Disregard of others’ time  Inappropriate dress and grooming  Misuse of telephone  Failure to greet someone appropriately And some more of them…

There are various aspects to Social Etiquette. Our first module will focus on DINING ETIQUETTE

Dining Etiquette Here are some useful tips for you on:  Table setting  Seating arrangement  Types of menu

A quick glance at the table setting

A quick glance at the seating arrangement

Meal Management Types of Menu: ( Click to find out) Table d’hote A la carte Buffet Next Slide

Meal Management Table d’hote is literally translated as Table of the host. This term indicates a set meal, usually with 3 or 4 courses, with at least one choice in each course – non-vegetarian and vegetarian Back

Meal Management A la Carte is literally translated as From the card. This is the type of menu we are most familiar with. There is a list of items for each course, each one separately priced. You order item-wise. There is a waiting period before your order arrives at the table. Remember, you have to pay for each dish you ask for Back

Meal Management Buffet is a display of a selection of items. There is a charge for the meal (as opposed to separate items) and you help yourself to whatever you wish, with as many returns/ helpings as you like Back

Time for a quick Etiquette test. Let’s find out how you fare on the Etiquettogram!

Meal Management MANAGING SOUP Q: Should I spoon soup away from myself ? Click here for more! A: Yes, you spoon soup away from you.

MANAGING SOUP Q: Is it correct to say, ‘I have eaten my soup’? Click here for more! Meal Management A: Yes, soup is ‘eaten’; it is inappropriate to use ‘drink’ when referring to soup, no matter how clear the soup might be.

Meal Management MANAGING SOUP Q: Should I sip from the edge of the soup spoon? Click here for more! A: Yes, you should sip from the edge of the soup spoon.

MANAGING SOUP Q: Can I blow on the soup while having it? Meal Management Click here for more! A: No, you should not blow on the soup while having it.

MANAGING SOUP Q: As I reach the last part of my soup, in which direction must I tilt the soup bowl/cup? Meal Management Click here for more! A: On reaching the lower part of the bowl, tip the bowl away from you and get the soup into your spoon with an in-to-out motion.

MANAGING SOUP Q: To show that I am not yet through with my soup, where should I place my soup spoon? Click here for more! Meal Management A: In the soup bowl.

Meal Management Click here for more! A: Never leave your spoon in the soup cup or bowl; place it on the saucer MANAGING SOUP Q: Where should I place the spoon after finishing my soup?

Meal Management MANAGING SOUP Q: Is it all right if I slurp or make noises when eating my soup? Click here for more! A: No, it is inappropriate to slurp or make noises when eating your soup.

Meal Management MANAGING SALADS Q: Should I use a spoon to eat my salad? Click here for more! A: No, you should use a fork and not a spoon to eat your salad.

Meal Management MANAGING BREAD SELECTION Q: How do I manage buttering my bun? Click here for more! A: Break the bun into small bite-sized pieces and butter each piece as needed.

Meal Management MANAGING TEA/ COFFEE Q: Is it correct to ask for ‘black tea’? If not, what is the correct alternative? A: Tea is never termed ‘black’ – the appropriate terminology is ‘with milk’, ‘without milk’ or ‘with lemon’. When coffee is had without milk, it may be termed ‘black’. Click here for more!

Meal Management MANAGING TEA/ COFFEE Q: Where should I place the teaspoon after stirring? Click here for more! A : You should place the teaspoon on the saucer after stirring.

Meal Management MANAGING TEA/ COFFEE Q: Can I pour tea into the saucer? Click here for more! A: Never pour tea into a saucer to drink.

Meal Management MANAGING TEA/ COFFEE Q: Is it all right if I slurp, blow into the tea cup or make noise when drinking ? Click here for more! A: No, it is not appropriate to slurp, blow into the tea cup or make noise when drinking.

That must have provided some REAL information… Check your scores: If 0-5: Time to take action! 5-10: A little more effort, and you shall see the difference! Above 10: Keep up the good work!

OK, here are some more tips to keep in mind when dining out  Sit straight with both feet on the floor, legs together  Elbows never on the table  Speak softly to those nearest to you  Thank the waiter only once or twice  Tip well

 Enquire from the host/ hostess about dress code for the function invited  Abide by local customs/ religious practices of host/ hostess  Men should assist ladies to be seated by pulling out the chair

 Placing your handbag/ purse on the table  Gesturing with your knife or spoon  Putting food into your mouth with a knife  Chomping your food  Talking with your mouth full  Wiping your mouth with your hand when holding a knife/ fork You should avoid this while dining

 Reaching across people to get a dish. Instead ask for it to be passed to you  Playing with the cutlery around you  Wiping your face with the napkin  Applying lipstick at the table  Smoking (unless the host gives the lead) You should avoid this while dining

Now, let’s look at some of the dilemmas that we often face… Find answers to your doubts here!

When in doubt, ask Eti! Q. Is it considered rude to take a sip of my drink while still chewing? A. It is considered good manners to wait until you have finished chewing and have swallowed your food before taking a sip of your beverage. Q. What is the correct position for a coffee cup in a formal place setting? A: The coffee cup and saucer is placed to the right of the place setting, to the right of the farthest utensil. Since most people are right-handed, the handle should face to the right.

Q. After the completion of a formal dinner, where do I place the utensils? A. Place the knife and fork parallel to one another across the plate with the knife blade facing inward toward the plate. Q. How should I fold a large napkin before placing it on my lap? Do I wait for the food to arrive before picking up the napkin from the table? A. Large dinner napkins should be folded in half after opening and before placing on one’s lap. It is appropriate to pick up the napkin as soon as you are seated, unfold it and place it on your lap. When in doubt, ask Eti!

Q. Where should I put my napkin at the completion of the meal? A. Once you are done eating, carefully place the napkin at the right of your place setting or if the plates have been cleared, place the napkin in the center without actually refolding to original state. Q. If I want to be excused from the table for a few minutes but have not yet finished my meal, where should I leave my napkin? A. When briefly leaving the table mid-meal, place your napkin on the chair to indicate to the server that you will be returning soon. When in doubt, ask Eti!

Q. When should the host/hostess of a dinner party be served? A. The host/hostess of a dinner party should be the last one served. If the meal is getting cold, the host/hostess may state something to the effect, “Please begin while the food is still warm.” Q. At a formal dinner party, how do I properly serve and remove the dishes and glasses? A. When entertaining formally, dishes are presented or served at guests’ left and removed from the right side. Glasses are filled from the right. When in doubt, ask Eti!

Q. What direction should food be passed at the table? A. Food should be passed to the right or counter-clockwise. Q. Is it wrong to stand when a lady excuses herself from the table? What is the proper etiquette when the woman excuses herself and returns? A. In a social setting, it is always appropriate for a male to stand when a female is taking her leave. However, in a business setting, it is not always necessary for a male to rise whenever his female coworker(s) leave the table. When in doubt, ask Eti!

Q. Who pays the bill when dining out? A. When entertaining a guest, such as, when out for dinner or cocktails, the person who extended the invitation (regardless of gender) is responsible for paying the bill. Q. Where do I place the finger bowl after cleansing my fingers? A. When using a finger bowl, after cleansing your fingers, place the finger bowl on the upper left side of the place setting; this clears the dessert plate for the dessert When in doubt, ask Eti!

Q. Which side of the guest should I pour wine from at the dinner table? A. Pour wine and all beverages from the right, while standing behind and to the right of the guest Q. What is the temperature at which white wine and red wine are served? A. White wine is served chilled and red wine is served at room temperature When in doubt, ask Eti!

Q. When ordering take-out food from a restaurant by telephone, is it necessary to tip when I pick up my order? A. No, it is not necessary to tip the restaurant in this situation. However, tipping the take- out service person at the restaurant would be appreciated and is considered good manners. Q. To which side should a gentleman seat a female? A. A gentleman at a social dinner party holds the chair and seats the female on his right. When in doubt, ask Eti!

Q. Should I dismiss myself from the table if I need to sneeze or blow my nose? A. Yes, excuse yourself from the table, and at no time should you use your napkin as a handkerchief. When in doubt, ask Eti!

I hope I have been able to answer most of your queries and clarify your doubts. If you have any further questions on this topic… …..you can address them to “Dear Eti” at Till Next Month, Eti