Excerpted from the book: The Messenger of God: Muhammad by Fethullah Gulen 1

2 ◦ Prophet Muhammad personifies the roles of perfect father and husband. ◦ His wives viewed separation from the Messenger as a calamity, so firmly had he established himself in their hearts. ◦ After his death, there was much yearning and a great deal of gried. ◦ Abu Bakr and Umar found the messenger’s wives weeping whenever they visited them.

3 ◦ A few days before his death he said;  “A servant has been allowed to choose this world or his Lord. He chose his lord”, Abu Bakr understood right away that the Prophet would die soon. ◦ Each wife because of his generosity and kindness thought she was his most beloved. ◦ The idea that any man could show complete equality and fairness in his relationships with nine women seems impossible. ◦ The messenger was kind and gentle to all women, and advised all other men to follow him in this regard.

◦ The messenger discussed matters with his wives as friends. ◦ He certainly did not need their advice, but he wanted to show that Muslim men were to give women every consideration possible. ◦ He began teaching his people through his own relationship with his wives. ◦ Women are secondary beings in the minds of many, including those self-appointed defenders of women’s rights as well as many Muslim men. ◦ The prophet thought us that the women is a part of a whole, without her, the other half is useless. ◦ He declared;  The most perfect believers are the best in character, and the best of you are the kindest to their families” ◦ Our master encouraged us through his enlightening words to behave kindly to women. 4

◦ His wives were given the choice to either stay with him and live and exemplary but hard life, or leave him. ◦ When some of his wives asked him if they could not live a more prosperous life, he went into retreat. This small grief cause all Muslims around to have huge grief. ◦ Others might save themselves by simply fulfilling their obligations but, those who were at the very center had to set examples, so the life of being the wife of the prophet was hard. ◦ Life in the prophet’s house was uncomfortable. ◦ It is not easy to merit being together with the Messenger in this world and the Hereafter. ◦ If the prophet had told them to fast all their life without a break, they would have done so with pleasure. That is why they endured hardship easily all their lives. 5

◦ He was an extraordinary husband, a perfect father, and a unique grandfather. ◦ He was unique in every way. ◦ He treated his children and grandchildren with great compassion. ◦ He never neglected them, and always loved them. ◦ He showed them how to live a humane life, and thought them never to neglect their religious duties. ◦ The Messenger was completely balanced in the way he brought up his children ◦ Whenever he returned to Madina, he would carry children on his mount. ◦ He loved all children. ◦ The messenger proclaimed that Islam allows no discrimination between son and daughter. 6

◦ Some critics of Islam purposefully have accused the Messenger of character failings. ◦ The facts that can easily be found in trusted sources clearly show that these accusations are false. ◦ The reasons behind his several marriages, all have to do with his role as a leader. ◦ It is important to note that even his worst enemies could not accuse him of not being chaste, and honest. ◦ It must be said most of his marriages took place after he was 53 years old. This means that his marriages could not have been due to licentiousness. Especially in Arabia, where men grow old relatively earlier. 7

◦ People often ask how a Prophet can have more than one wife. There are three points to be made in answering this question. ◦ Islam covers all aspects of life, even the most private and intimate question must be answered. The best way for the answers to spread was through the wives of the Prophet, who served as teachers. ◦ Some marriages were contracted for specific reason (i.e different tribe) ◦ All of the prophet’s marriages had nothing to do with self indulgence. 8