Abuse in Family Life We warn that individuals who... abuse spouse or offspring... will one day stand accountable before God. Proclamation, ¶ 8 It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. Luke 17:2

A Serious Offense Before God “We condemn most strongly abusive behavior in any form. We denounce the physical, sexual, verbal or emotional abuse of one’s spouse of children. No man who abuses his wife or children is worthy to hold the priesthood of God. No man who abuses his wife or children is worthy to be a member in good standing in this church. The abuse of one’s spouse and children is a most serious offense before God, and any who indulge in it may expect to be disciplined by the church.” President Gordon B. Hinckley, 1998 (emphasis added)

Among Our Own “Perhaps (child abuse) has always been with us, but has not received the attention it presently receives. I am glad there is a hue and cry going up against this terrible evil, too much of which is found among our own.” President Gordon B. Hinckley, 1985 (emphasis added) “It is difficult for the untrained eye to spot warning signs of abuse in a home…Most abusers…try to hide the abuse and erase any obvious signs of what is happening. That’s why a family that looks like a happy, normal Mormon family on the outside can have these terrible things going on inside the home without anyone knowing.” Jared Curle, Center for Women and Children in Crisis of Provo Religious not immune to abusive situations, Daily Herald, 5 June 2002

Common Types of Family Abuse Spouse Abuse of Spouse Parent Abuse of Child Child Abuse of Parent Sibling Abuse of Sibling And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness. Mosiah 4:14

Predictors of Abuse Perpetrator’s as past experience (observer or victim) Perpetrator’s ideas about relationships/violence Victim's ideas about relationships/violence Other Factors: Psychiatric Model: Mental Illness Sociological Model: Environmental Stress Social-Situational Model: Patterns of Interaction

Preventing Abuse Heed Warning Signs! Flee dangerous relationships before marriage! Monitor Risk Factors Treat and overcome past issues/ideas Minimize stresses and contributing factors

Ending and Healing From Abuse Be aware and realistic Understand Cycle of Abuse (Abuse-Remorse-Repeat) Activate the Atonement Move on to forgiveness and repentance Focus on eternal goals Forsake unrighteous traditions Understand and honor sacred covenants Seek and receive assistance Ecclesiastical, professional Build resiliency factors (See Hope for Children Like Betsy, M&F April 2002) Constructive escape Healthy personal relationships Spirituality (fellowship and practice) Service

Some Helpful Resources Utah County Domestic Violence Coalition: Center for Women and Children in Crisis: Domestic Violence Hotline: SAFE Crime Victim Reparations: Affiliated Family Treatment Center: Children’s Aide Society: Family Support and Treatment Center: