Lesson 4 - Behavior Modules 4 Assess your own level of self- esteem –Are you easily hurt by criticism? –Are you very shy or overly aggressive.? –Do you try to hide your feelings from others? –Do you fear close relationships? –Do you try to blame your mistakes on others? –Do you find excuses for refusing to change? –Do you avoid new experiences? –Do you continually wish you could change your physical appearance? –Are you too modest about personal success ? –Are you glad when others fail ? –Do you accept constructive criticism? –Are you at ease meeting new people? –Are you honest and open about your feelings? –Do you value your closet relationships? –Are you able to laugh at your own mistakes? –Do you notice and accept changes in yourself as they occur? –Do you look for can accept new challenges? –Are you confident about your physical appearance? –Do you give yourself credit when credit is due? –Are you happy for others when they succeed?

Lesson 4 - Behavior Modules 4 When you feel good about yourself, handling peer pressure is a lot easier. 4 Use this checklist to see how well you can handle peer pressure. –Do you like and respect yourself ? –Do you know your strengths and weaknesses? –Do you trust yourself? –Do you know what values are really important to you? –Do you know how to make your own decisions? –Do you hang out with friends who accept you for who your are? –Do you know how to say “ NO” to peer pressure? –Do you know how to handle different kinds of pressure situations? –Do you take responsibility for your decisions? –Do you take time to think before you act? 4 Learn to be your own best friend. It’s one of the keys to handling peer pressure. 4 Make your own decisions. 4 Tell others your decision. This can be difficult, but you can make it easier on yourself. 4 Know how to resist peer pressure. 4 Ask for help if you need it. 4 Know you values and act on them. 4 Take the time to make a good decision and consider all the consequences. 4 Don’t let your peers decide for you.

Lesson 4- Behavior Modules 4 Most people feel bad about themselves from time to time. So, when you answer these questions, think about how you feel most of the time. 4 If you answered MOST of these questions “ yes” your self-esteem could probably use some improvement. 4 If you answered NO to any of the questions on peer pressure, your ability to handle peer pressure could be improved. 4 If you answered MOST of theses questions with “ yes” you probably have a healthy opinion of yourself. 4 Whatever the level of your self-esteem now, you can take positive steps to IMPROVE IT! 4 Tips for Handling Peer Pressure –Look and act confident - - even if you feel nervous or scared. Stand or sit up straight. Look right into the person’s eyes. Speak firmly and clearly, in your normal voice. –Here’s what you say when you decide to say “ NO” to peer pressure: “ No, thanks.” “ I.m not interested.” “ I’ve got something else to do.” “ I don’t feel like it.” “ I’ve decided not to do that anymore.” 4 If you continue to be pressured, you can say: “ No, please don’t ask me again. “ I already said, ‘NO”. Why are you still bugging me ?” “ I’ve got to go”. Then just walk away.

Lesson 5 - Communications 4 This lesson emphasizes the importance of good listening and speaking skills. 4 When people meet you for the first time, they formulate opinions of you by your appearance. 4 How many times have you heard someone say, “ I don’t like her/him and they don’t even know you? 4 Your appearance, the manner in which you speak and how you act all play an important role in how you speak. 4 In order to be a good speaker, you must first be a good listener. 4 Listening is a skill many people do not possess. 4 When you meet someone for the first time, it is important to listen for their name and any questions they may ask you about yourself. 4 This if part of the “ impression formulation process”. 4 How many times have you been engaged in a conversation and you are cut-off or someone finishes your statements for you? 4 Being a poor listener and taking while others are talking can be projected as being rude. 4 We all have two ears and one mouth which means we should listen twice as much as we speak.

Lesson 5 - Communications 4 Tips for Active Listening –Maintain eye contact and calm body language. –Don’t interrupt. –Don’t just listen to the words, listen to the feelings and meaning. –Test your understanding by paraphrasing or summarizing what you heard before you respond. –Ask questions to clarify or confirm your understanding. –Acknowledge his/her feelings. Use “ you” statements ‘ such as you seem frustrated or concerned about, etc. –State your own feelings. Feelings and emotions need to be dealt with before dealing with the content of the discussion. 4 Tips of Active Listening –When possible have a face-to-face meeting. –Stay relaxed in your overall manner, show you are comfortable in the situation. –Listen for feelings was well as content. –Read - “ between the lines “. –Don’t confuse content and delivery - don’t assume the other person has something to say, even if he/she is having trouble saying it. –Avoid distractions - choose a comfortable and quiet place for your meeting. –Avoid time pressure for your meeting –Don’t jump into the conversation too soon. –Use simple gestures or phrases to show you are listening.

Lesson 5 - Communications 4 Tips for Active Listening –Keep and open posture - don’t cross arms and legs. –Cultivate empathy for the other person- try to put yourself in his/her place. –Pause a few seconds before giving feedback - you both need time to think. –Give the other person time to correct a mistake or statement. This shows respect. –Observe the non-verbal behavior. –Ask questions beginning with “ What” or ‘ How” - avoid questions with yes or no answers. –State your own feeling. Feelings and emotions need to be dealt with before dealing with the content of the discussion. 4 Tips for Active Listening –Remember “ listening” is one of the hardest things you will learn to do in this life. It’s important to offer immediate feedback, playback those specific things that you’d like to discuss further or need clarification of. Communicate clearly and candidly: avoiding vagueness, mixed messages and confusion. Deal with his/her defensiveness, helplessness, exuberance, frustrations, enthusiasm and other emotions. Listen non-judgmentally for full understanding when he/she discusses problems, ideas and goals.

Lesson 5 - Communications 4 Do’s And Don’ts of Good Speaking Skills : –Do’s Project your voice. Have good posture Enunciate your words and word endings properly. Keep good eye contact with the person or persons you are speaking to. Avoid nervous movement or gestures. Keep objects out of your mouth such as pens, pencils or gum Use good grammar. Be relaxed Present what you say in a logical manner. Smile and maintain a friendly facial expression. Listen carefully to questions. Be specific in answering questions. 4 Do’s and Don’ts of Good Speaking Skills s –Don’ts Chew gum while speaking. Use too many “ hums.” Talk too slowly or too fast. Frown, cringe your fact or make annoying sounds. Keep objects in you hand that can be distracting. Juggle change in your pocket. Lean over the desk or chair. Don’t sit on your foot. Don’t rock back and forth on your chair. Be rude or discourteous when speaking. Remember : COMMUNICATIONS IS NOT A ONE WAY STREET