African American Faith Based Bereavement Initiative

Module 4 Lack of knowledge about the grief process—age old wisdom Psalm 34:18 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart;.

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC Reflections on Personal Experiences with Grief What have been your own personal experiences with death, loss and grief? – Whom did you lose? – How old were you? – What were the circumstances? – Did your reaction differ based on whom you lost? – Did your reaction differ based on how old you were and what stage of life?

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC Reflections on Personal Experiences with Grief Thinking about these reactions: – How long did you experience severe distress? – How long have you felt upset or depressed about the loss? – How often do you think about the loss now and how do you feel about it? What helped you cope with losses in your life? When you hear about another person’s loss, does it remind you of your losses? In what ways?

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC Reflections on Personal Experiences with Grief When you were grieving, what kinds of things that other people did made it easier or more bearable for you? What things were not helpful? Now think about how you react to others when they have had a loss. How does your experience affect what you say and do? Do you assume that their experience is the same as yours? Do you wish that they did not keep sharing their pain with you, because it reawakens your own pain?

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC What is grief? Grief is the emotional response to one's loss. – Grief is a natural response to a felt loss; our way of repairing emotional damage. – Grief is individual. – Grief consists of a variety of normal responses that seem to fluctuate like an emotional roller coaster ride. – Grief is very often expressed differently by men and women. – Emotional response is expressed differently for various cultural & ethnic groups as well.

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC What do we mean when we talk about the grief process? Models of tasks of that families have to face Ideas about the journey of feelings they experience

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC Grief: The Major Stages/Tasks  Accepting the reality of the loss.  Experiencing the pain of grief.  Adjusting to an environment without the baby.  Moving on, withdrawing emotional energy and reinvesting. William Worden (2001) Source: Health Care Professionals’ Guide to Bereavement Support; NSIDSPSC

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC A Journey of Feelings John Bowlby’s Ebb and Flow Grief Model

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC Shock and Numbness—The beginning  Failure to accept reality  Time confusion  Impaired functioning  Disbelief  Short attention span  Lack of concentration  Difficulty with decisions Source: Health Care Professionals’ Guide to Bereavement Support; NSIDSPSC

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC Searching and Yearning  Restlessness  Impatience and irritability  Resentment and bitterness  Anger and guilt  Sleep difficulties/nightmares  Preoccupation with deceased  Lack of energy/fatigue Source: Health Care Professionals’ Guide to Bereavement Support; NSIDSPSC

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC Disorientation  Disorganized and forgetful  Sadness and depression  Social withdrawal  Fatigue and exhaustion  Poor concentration  Insomnia  Feelings of failure  Fears of shaky grasp on reality Source: Health Care Professionals’ Guide to Bereavement Support; NSIDSPSC

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC Reorganization  Normalized eating/sleeping habits  Fuller spectrum of emotions  Increased self-esteem  Sparks of energy  Able to make decisions  Interest in future Source: Health Care Professionals’ Guide to Bereavement Support; NSIDSPSC

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC Model: Phases Of Grief Disorientation Searching/ yearning Shock / Numbness Acceptance

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC Types of Guilt  Death causation  Role guilt  “If Only” Guilt  Moral Guilt  Survival Guilt  Recovery Guilt Source: Health Care Professionals’ Guide to Bereavement Support; NSIDSPSC

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC Children’s Grief  Anxiety/fear, who will be next?  Anger at parents, god, baby and in general  Death causation/survival guilt  Regression Source: Health Care Professionals’ Guide to Bereavement Support; NSIDSPSC

Module 4 AAFBBI Curriculum ©2011 NCCC Review of the “quiz” Now let’s review the questions about grief that you answered at the beginning of this module and review the answers.