Using WRAP to Develop a Strong System of Support Mary Ellen Copeland PhD The Copeland Center for Wellness and Recovery Sponsored in partnership with Essential Learning December 16, 2009

Continuing Education Credits Continuing Education credit is provided through the Mary Ellen Copeland’s partnership with Essential Learning, an approved CE provider. Essential Learning, LLC is approved by the American Psychological Association to sponsor continuing education for psychologists. Essential Learning, LLC maintains responsibility for this program and its content. Available Accredited CEUs: APA, ANCC, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC

This information in this webinar will be useful to people who: have developed and use their own WRAP lead WRAP groups work with people who use WRAP as their guide to recovery want to develop and keep a strong system of support

It will be helpful if you need to answer questions from: people you are working with and supporting WRAP group participants people attending follow up support groups and recovery groups

Earliest studies (1988-1994) showed the importance of support in working toward Wellness and Recovery.

Later studies provided more data on how to develop and keep a strong support system.

They also addressed the importance of enjoying time alone. People who had strong support systems and enjoyed being alone had few issues with loneliness and seemed to have greater success as they worked on their recovery.

As you work through the WRAP process for developing and keeping a strong support system, add in tools and strategies that help you enjoy and even crave time alone.

Before we begin working on specifically on developing a WRAP for building and keeping support, I want to share with you some key points I have learned about support through my studies.

Support from family, friends, and care providers promotes wellness and recovery. Being effectively supported helps people feel better and enriches their lives. People in recovery benefit from having at least five good friends or supporters.

Someone to talk and share with Companionship/to have a good time Help in figuring things out and making decisions Someone to take over and keep you safe when you can’t take care of yourself

These are people who: Care about you Empathize with you Affirm and validate you and your experience Accept you as you are Listen to you and share with you

Advocate for you Enjoy sharing fun and interesting activities with you Make decisions for you when you can’t do this for yourself Are willing to follow your predetermined plans

Empathize, empathize, empathize Good Supporters Listen, listen, listen Empathize, empathize, empathize

They know that unasked for advice, criticism and judgments won’t help and will make the other person feel worse.

You may have to educate your supporters about what you want and need. And ask them what they want and need from you in return.

Relationship Enhancers Positive Self Esteem Taking good care of yourself Mutuality Respecting boundaries

Keeping in touch Treating others with unconditional high regard Avoiding people who treat you badly

Using "I" statements Listening well, sometimes to the same story over and over Being clear about what you can listen to and what you can't

Accepting the other person's view of reality Staying with someone when they are having a hard time

Relationship Spoilers Feeling that others won't like you Not taking good care of yourself Treating others badly

Acting in ways that may be embarrassing to others Being needy and draining Interrupting Sharing "I can top that stories" Giving advice

Criticism, judgment, sarcasm, Put Downs Dragging Up the Past Labels Negative Comparisons, Badmouthing Others

Threats, Taunting, Ridicule Judgmental “you” messages Rudeness Breaking confidentiality

One Person Doing All the Talking “Know It All” Behavior Wanting You to be only Their Friend Flirting with Your Partner

Controlling Behavior Not Wanting to be Seen with You in Public Places Clinging or Very Needy Behavior Inappropriate Sexual Talk

Supportive Statements I am here for you. I care. What happened? I am sorry that happened to you. That sounds really hard. I'm here to listen How can we work together so you can feel better.

Begin by taking very small steps, gradually expanding your circle of supporters: Start by sharing more openly with one person you know very well. Invite that person to share an activity with you. When you feel ready, choose another person with whom you are willing to share

4. A next step might be going to a peer center or support group. 5. Gradually share more openly with people in the group. 6. If you become uncomfortable with a person or a group, choose others to be supporters.

WRAP Wellness Toolbox Daily Maintenance Plan Triggers and an action plan Early warning signs and an action plan When things are breaking down and an action plan Crisis Planning Post Crisis Planning

How you use it in your life Using WRAP You Decide When you develop it How long you take What you put in it When you revise it How you use it in your life

Wellness Toolbox Who can be your supporters Connecting with supporters Beginning and maintaining relationships Being with supporters Activities with supporters Things to do alone

Who can be your supporters Family members Friends Colleagues Peers Health care providers

In choosing supporters: Avoid limiting your options. Supporters can be any age, shape, size, sex, sexual orientation, and from any religious, cultural, ethnic, educational or economic background.

Support groups and peer support centers are great places to meet potential supporters.

Connecting with Supporters Where did you meet people who are now your friends? Community activities Support groups Volunteering Work

Special interest groups Religious and spiritual activities Educational activities Neighbors

Beginning and Maintaining Relationships Reaching out Introducing yourself Chatting Arranging to get together

Phone call check-ins Staying connected Respecting boundaries

Being with Supporters Listening Sharing Empathizing Peer counseling/exchange listening Check-ins

Problem solving Supporting through hard times Using "I" Statements Respecting boundaries

Activities with Supporters Cooking Sports Exercise Movies, plays, concerts Talking Eating

Things to Do Alone Creative arts Writing Music Exercise Reading

Decorating your living space Gardening Fixing things Meditation

Add new tools that have to do with support whenever you notice or discover them Loneliness Book Winning Against Relapse Self help books

The internet and social networking sites Friends and supporters Care providers Classes, workshops, seminars, groups

What I am like When I am Well Think about times in your life when you felt connected with another person or other people and when you didn’t feel lonely. Make a list, write a story, draw a picture, make a collage that describes what that felt like. If you can’t think of such a time, write how you would like it to be.

Refer to this page whenever you need to be reminded of what you are working toward, of what you want to feel like when you have a strong support system, are using it well or when you are enjoying spending time alone.

Daily Maintenance Which Wellness Tools do you need to use every day to assure that your support system is strong? Check-in/reality check Call at least one friend or family member Avoid people who treat me badly Have a meal with a family member

Have a 5 minute exchange listening session with a supporter Spend at least 1/2 hour doing something fun alone

Things I Might Need to Do Spend more time with supporters Make an appointment with a care provider Spend extra time alone

Plan a special activity with a supporter Arrange a meeting for my supporters Discuss my Advance Directive with supporters Listen and empathize with a friend

Triggers A disagreement with a friend Someone treating you badly No friends being available A Friend cancelled time together

Being judged or criticized Ending a relationship A difficult phone call Not enough time alone

Triggers Action Plan Use "I" statements Respect boundaries Do a reality check Talk to a supporter Exchange listening 1 hour doing something alone I enjoy Go to a support group meeting

Early Warning Signs You have less than 5 people on your list of supporters You don't want to answer the phone or door You are feeling needy and desperate You are impatient with others You feel hurt someone can't pay attention to you You feel like others don't like you

Early Warning Signs Action Plan 2 peer counseling sessions Call a friend and tell them how you are feeling--ask for their ideas Ask a friend to go for a walk with you Go to a movie by yourself Do something you do well Do something nice for someone else

When Things are Breaking Down You haven't reached out to a supporter in 3 days You feel like no one likes you You can't remember who your supporters are You are rude to a family member You are very irritable and impatient

When Things are Breaking Down Action Plan Have a 5 minute check-in with each of my supporters Problem solve with supporters Have a meal with family Use "I" statements Treat others with unconditional high regard Spend at least 2 hours doing something I enjoy alone

Advance Directive Supporters are key to the success of the Advance Directive. Include them in the development of the directive. Discuss it with them and give them a copy when it is complete. Give them revised copies as needed.

Do the best you possibly can Choose supporters who are willing to follow your directive. Do the best you possibly can to be cooperative.

Describe signs that others need to help you clearly so they can be easily understood Washing my hands for two hours and won't stop Saying words for 2 hours that others can't understand Not recognizing family members Purposefully breaking furniture Threatening the safety of others

List your supporters, how to be in touch with them and what you want them to do. List people you do not want to be involved.

Describe clearly: What others can do that helps and what does not help Chores they need to take care of Specific plans for "staying-at-home" Indicators that others no longer need to follow the plan

Post Crisis Plan Your support team is also key in your post crisis plan. You may want to review that with them as well. List clearly the people you want to assist and support you through the Post Crisis phase. Be clear about people you need to avoid.

Your support team will be crucial as you gradually work toward "Resuming Responsibilities".

Begin using this WRAP for Developing and Keeping a Strong Support Systems whenever you want to. At first you may want to review your plan everyday, following your Daily Maintenance Plan, and taking other action as needed.

After a while you will notice that you remember your plan and only need to refer to it from time to time, unless you are having a difficult time. At some point, you may want to incorporate this WRAP into your basic WRAP.

Revise your plan when you discover new Wellness Tools and find that some things work better for you than others and as the circumstances of your life change .

Keep lists of your supporters in convenient places Bedside Hanging on your refrigerator or bulletin board Near your phone

Update your list of supporters as it changes. Work on Developing and Keeping a Strong Support System is on-going over time. It is well worth the effort.

Get more ideas on Developing and Keeping a Strong Support System Talk to others who have had similar experiences Join a support group Websites: mentalhealthrecovery.com, wraparoundtheworld.com Sign up for the newsletter Take an Online Course

Many, many mental health recovery and WRAP resources including: The Loneliness Workbook WRAP Stories Winning Against Relapse The Depression Workbook WRAP books

On Special in December! Now $12.95 (reg. $16.95) mentalhealthrecovery.com/store

Find us on Mental Health Recovery & WRAP Group Copeland Center for Wellness & Recovery WRAP Facilitators Group

http://.mentalhealthrecovery.com Build Your Own Wrap Online Creating a Wellness Toolbox, WRAP One on One and other online mental health recovery and WRAP courses WRAP resources and information http://.mentalhealthrecovery.com

Your agency or organization can make "Build Your Own WRAP Online" and other mental health recovery online courses more readily available to its staff and the people it serves. For more information, go to our partner: www.essentiallearning.com

For information on becoming a Certified WRAP Facilitator or having a WRAP training in your area, go to: www.copelandcenter.com Upcoming Training Austin, Texas Feb. 1-5, 2010 Boise, Idaho April 12-16, 2010

Live Question & Answers Please un-mute your line if you haven't already done so by entering the number code on your invitation or on your control panel into your phone. To ask a question raise your hand (click on the hand icon on your control panel)/ Katie Wilson will call your name, unmute your line, and you will be able to be heard by everyone on the call. OR type a question into the box.

Certificates Available Certificate of Attendance from Mental Health Recovery & WRAP Or Continuing Education Credits Available Accredited CEUs: APA, ANCC, ASWB, NBCC, NAADAC Please email, Katie Wilson katiejwilson@gmail.com

Thank you for joining us! Please check out Mentalhealthrecovery.com For additional upcoming events