FCFA March 2001 Training Introduction To Communication “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown I have learned that it takes courage and integrity to look at one’s self in the mirror of one’s mind. Author Unknown I have learned that it is easier to criticize than to empathize. Author Unknown

Scripture Definition Components In Communication Choosing How To Communicate Understanding The Nature Of Relationships Conclusion Agenda “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown I have learned that it takes courage and integrity to look at one’s self in the mirror of one’s mind. Author Unknown I have learned that it is easier to criticize than to empathize. Author Unknown

Eph 4:22 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; Eph 4:23 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; Eph 4:24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Eph 4:25 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Eph 4:27 Neither give place to the devil. Eph 4:28 Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with [his] hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Eph 4:29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Eph 4:30 And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Scripture

Main Entry: com·mu·ni·ca·tion 1 : an act or instance of transmitting 2 a : information communicated b : a verbal or written message 3 a : a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs, or behavior ; also : exchange of information b : personal rapport 5 plural but singular or plural in construction a : a technique for expressing ideas effectively (as in speech) b : the technology of the transmission of information (as by print or telecommunication) Definition “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown I have learned that it takes courage and integrity to look at one’s self in the mirror of one’s mind. Author Unknown I have learned that it is easier to criticize than to empathize. Author Unknown

The Command Function The Relational Function Functions Of Communication “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman

This is understanding two-way communication that requires feedback and active listening. It’s task-oriented. (See Speaker/Listener Model) Clear feedback and active listening requires using skills such as paraphrasing, and perception checking The Command Function “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman

Speaker/Listerner Model WORLD OF SENDER Thoughts, Feelings Encoding Decoding Message Transmission WORLD OF RECEIVER Decoding Thoughts, Feelings Encoding Feedback

This is understanding communication from a human standpoint. Perceptions and emotions is the guiding force of communication. You make a choice of impersonal or interpersonal relationships The Relational Function “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman

Voice Language Body Language(Kinesics) Spatial Relations(Proxemics) Temporal Relations(Time) The Relational Function “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “We Cannot Not communicate” Joseph Devito

3 Things to help us make the choice to be more interpersonal Spiritual Child Choosing The Right Climate Choosing How To Communicate “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown I have learned that it takes courage and integrity to look at one’s self in the mirror of one’s mind. Author Unknown I have learned that it is easier to criticize than to empathize. Author Unknown

3 Things to help us make the choice to be more interpersonal –1. Humans are unique –2. Humans can think –3. Humans have feelings Choosing How To Communicate “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman

Spiritual Child –A person building process where both parties are responsible for creating and maintaining positive relationship –The Bible says we are not to seek our own Choosing How To Communicate “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown I have learned that it takes courage and integrity to look at one’s self in the mirror of one’s mind. Author Unknown I have learned that it is easier to criticize than to empathize. Author Unknown

Choosing The Right Climate –Interpersonal relationships requires you to seek the right atmosphere that gives a perception or reality of an equal playing field and as a result relationships flourishes. Choosing How To Communicate “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown I have learned that it takes courage and integrity to look at one’s self in the mirror of one’s mind. Author Unknown I have learned that it is easier to criticize than to empathize. Author Unknown

Mutual Reward Theory –You seek Win/Win between two parties Value Conflicts –We all have different value systems because we come from different backgrounds Age Differences –paradigms and value systems differ from previous generations Understanding The Nature Of Relationships “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown I have learned that it takes courage and integrity to look at one’s self in the mirror of one’s mind. Author Unknown I have learned that it is easier to criticize than to empathize. Author Unknown

Irritation Threshold –Irritating habits or mannerisms could endanger relationships(i.e. loud voice, overbearing, constant complaining, bragging of yourself, over-spiritualizing things,….) Understanding The Nature Of Relationships “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown I have learned that it takes courage and integrity to look at one’s self in the mirror of one’s mind. Author Unknown I have learned that it is easier to criticize than to empathize. Author Unknown

Understanding the dynamics of Communication is vital to enhance the mission of our church. One must understand you must seek win/win to promote vital interpersonal relationships. Dr. Stephen Covey states that one must “seek first to understand, before being understood”. Remember there is no “I” in team. Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Conclusion “Seek First To Understand, before being Understood” Dr. Stephen R. Covey “I’ve learned that people are doing the best that they can with what they know, and sometimes they just don’t know” Author Unknown Effective communication is consequences of the choices we make about people and situations. It’s about human relations. Ken White and Elwood Chapman