The Gift of Resilience ~ Jacquelyn M. Paykel, M.D.

Resilience in people is when individuals exhibit positive behavioral adaptation during times of significant stress.

 Internal Factors  We create these within us  External Factors  We need others to help us create these

 Relationships that provide care and support, create love & trust and offer encouragement within and outside the family  Principle #1 – there are three types of people in your life

There are three types of people in your life:  Those who want to help you ▪ Assist with your growth  Those who want to hurt you ▪ Want you to stay the same  Those who want to leave you alone ▪ Don’t have the energy to help you ~ Deepak Chopra

 Relationships that provide care and support, create love & trust and offer encouragement within and outside the family  The capacity to make realistic plans ▪ Keep calendars, maintain sleep schedules, say “no”  Having self confidence and a positive self image ▪ affirmations  Developing communication skills ▪ the art of listening, the art of speaking through kindness  The capacity to manage strong feelings and impulses ▪ mindfulness

 External social support  Having a close bond with at least one family member or an emotionally stable parent  Principle #2 – when we know better we do better

We do the best that we can with the tools available to us at the time; when we know better, we do better. ~ Maya Angelou

 External social support  Having a close bond with at least one family member or an emotionally stable parent  Receiving support or counsel from peers  Contributing to causes outside of one’s self (volunteerism)

My Pathway to Resilience

 Childhood – 6 kids and chaos  Principle #3 – our parents teach us

There is a reason we were born to the parents we have – they have life lessons to teach us that we needed to know. “True happiness does not come from a perfect childhood. Happiness comes from claiming our unique childhood and working through the lessons it holds for us.” ~Ann Wilson Schaef Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much

 Childhood – 6 kids and chaos  Chile – another world  Early adulthood - overwhelming inadequacy  Undergrad – defining happiness  Medical school – three children, military obligations, no support  Residency – work hours, stolen childhoods  Sleep = 7 hours per night (2001)

 Military – 9/11, Mitch in WI, depression  Counseling and encouraged to restore balance  Breathing exercises  Painting/drawing as a place to find peace  Board certification = STRESS  Spiritual awakening  External validation of capabilities  Private practice  Defining my own self worth as a physician  Environmental changes – calming music, calming colors

 Integrative Medicine Fellowship  Spiritual literature and movies  Eliminate broadcast news  Aromatherapy – lavender, vanilla, citrus, cinnamon  Supplements – Vitamin D, Vitamin B complex  Dietary modification – Anti-inflammatory  Guided imagery  Exercise  Yoga, tai chi  Affirmations  Meditation  Tension Tamer tea, Green tea  Expressions of creativity  Journal writing, Creative writing  Mindfulness

 Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: On purpose, in the present moment and non- judgmentally…it wakes us up to the fact that our lives unfold only in moments.  Experience each moment, no matter how difficult or intense, with serenity and clarity. (e.g. car accidents)  Gain immediate access to powerful inner resources for healing.  With repeated practice, mindfulness allows you to develop an ability to calmly step back from thoughts and feelings during stressful situations, rather than entering into a cycle of stress reactivity.  As a result, many people renew their enthusiasm for life and are better able to cope with stress.

 There are three types of people in your life: Those who want to help you, those who want to hurt you ; those who want to leave you alone ~ Deepak Chopra  We do the best that we can with the tools available to us at the time; when we know better, we do better ~ Maya Angelou  There is a reason we are born to the parents we have – they have lessons to teach us we needed to learn

Beauty Spirituality Kindness