Face to Face in the Workplace Strategies for dealing with conversations at work Julie Cooper Spring Development
What we are doing today: Tell you about Face to Face in the Workplace Explore how you impact on others Discover why conversations go wrong Learn some simple strategies that work
Our first book..... Regularly on Amazon best sellers lists since 2008 Widely used as course text book for advice and guidance qualifications Then along came books two and three....
What worked.... Practical “how to” approach Clear structure, simple language Friendly illustrations Theory made accessible Toolkit of models, ideas and strategies “It’s hard when....” Stories as examples – including how to get it wrong!
The Basics: Self awareness Personality styles Assertive behaviour Credibility Rapport Explaining Listening Questioning Body language Positive regard How to challenge Shutting people up Saying no On the hop What’s in the book: Appraisals Back from Sickness interviews Challenging attitude and negativity Change, Introducing Coaching Conflict Dark Triad Delegating Disciplinary meetings Feedback Exit interviews Grievance, handling a Inappropriate behaviour Influencing and Persuasion Instructing Interviewing job applicants Managing your Boss Mentoring Negotiating Performance gaps Praising Redundant, Making someone Dismissing a member of staff Supervisory meetings 360° Feedback
Why strategies for conversations? Because.... We think we’re understood We think we’ve explained We don’t challenge enough We don’t explore issues to get to the heart of the matter We’re under pressure to get quick results But the real results are...what?
OCEAN – Who are you? The Big Five: Openness to experience Conscientious Extraversion Agreeableness Neuroticism Know your own personality
What do we bring? Motives Learning history Thinking skills Capacity to feel Sense of worth Fears Sexuality Values and ethics Culture and Cross- cultural Skills Experience Social Class How can each of these affect a conversation? Perception and filters caused by our:
Past and Present Anxiety What is the impact on our behaviour?
Pussyfooting Sorry to disturb you....I wonder...could we talk about....would you mind awfully...Oh, I can see you’re busy... No, it really doesn’t matter... It’s a lovely day, isn’t it? It can wait... What are the characteristics of pussyfooting?
Clobbering! What is the likely reaction of Topi? What impact does it have on you? Be aware of your emotions and the impact they may have on others Remember that others will assign different levels of importance so may not react as you expect
When do we need a plan? If there is a purpose, an agenda, an important decision, a need to connect at a new level... When it matters!
DOTS.... Definition What exactly is going on here? Think Ahead What do I need to prepare in advance? Steps What needs to happen during the discussion? Outcomes What is it I want to achieve?
The Three Step Tango 1. Listen until you understand where the other person is coming from. Gather all the facts, feelings and circumstances. Try and get to the bottom of Topi’s interests and motivation. Let him know you have heard and understood. 2. Say what you think and feel about the situation. But don’t say but! 3. Say what you would like to happen next, considering the consequences for yourself and the other person.
OFFA’s Agenda Opinion Facts Feelings Assumptions Were they present in your example? How did they affect the outcome? Think of a discussion you have had at work recently. What did Topi say?
Nip it in the Bud Three stage perception checking technique: 1.State the behaviour “Sarah, every time I mention the project deadline, you roll your eyes” 2. Say what it means to you “I take it this means you have a problem with the time scales” 3. Ask for confirmation “Am I right?”
Final Words The impact you have on others is critical to relationships Relationships are critical to successful outcomes Adapting your style to help others understand you is not a cop out!
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