Mentor Training

TeamMates Mission To positively impact the world by inspiring youth to reach their full potential through mentoring.

About TeamMates Core Values – Commitment to youth – Safety – Integrity and Trust – Inclusion Vision – To become the gold standard of school- based mentoring programs and serve 12,000 youth by 2020.

TeamMates Quick Facts One to One School Based One time per week Relationship Based Minimum 3-year commitment

To be a mentor… Application/Agreement Criminal Background Check Child/Adult Abuse Check Reference Checks Initial Training Interview Match & Orientation Weekly Meetings

Who will I mentor? TeamMates youth are called mentees – Grades 3-12 – Selected because they would benefit from additional caring adult – Parent/guardian permission to participate – Youth desire to work with an adult – Youth trained about the program

Mentoring Means Commitment Weekly meetings – Try for 24 or more meetings in the year Sign in every time Minimum three-year commitment Be a good role model Ask for help if needed

Building a Relationship Developmental Mentoring vs. Prescriptive Mentoring Focus on the bond between you and the mentee!

Developmental Prescriptive Encourage the mentee to guide the activities/time Listen more than talk Games, crafts These activities build skills and confidence for students to feel successful Tell mentee what they need to be doing “Fix it” attitude--Give advice more than listen Focus on tasks to meet goals Push mentee to talk about issues, future, academics

Perseverance Process – 5 Actions show me that you like me and want the best for me (express care) insist that I try to continuously improve (challenge growth) help me complete tasks and achieve goals (provide support) hear my voice and let me share in making decisions (share power) expand my horizons and connect me to opportunities (expand possibilities)

Stages of Mentoring Beginning “The Honeymoon” – Set boundaries – Find common interests Growth Stage – Build trust – Stay committed Maturity Stage – Mutual comfort level – More challenges - more details shared Ending or Closure Stage – Say good bye—don’t just stop meeting – Share positives about the experience

A Mentor’s Role A Mentor Is A Mentor Is Not

Exploring Diversity Diversity refers to any significant personal or cultural differences Youth culture has unique rules You will encounter differences Diversity is a two way street Poverty has its own culture Be understanding and nonjudgmental Share your culture Don’t be afraid of diversity

Boundaries Safe environment – Location – Physical touch – Social media Time Money Self disclosure Working with families

Safe Environment Boundary School based Meet in school, during the school day Public spaces; doors, blinds open Out of school meetings (for Middle School or High School students only) Rare occurrences, group setting All paperwork complete and on file Public meeting places Third party over 18 identified Physical touch boundary

Social Media Do NOT become involved in personal social networking with your mentee such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat. Before you engage in any outside communication with your high school mentee ( , texting, phone), check with your school TeamMates Coordinator, follow school policy, get parent permission. Contact outside the school environment is strongly discouraged.

TeamMates Social Media Check out our blog at Subscribe from the main page to receive updates via Become a Fan of the TeamMates Program on Facebook. Find us on Twitter

Time Boundary Commit to weekly meetings – 24 or more meetings/year Be “in the moment” when meeting Consistency and frequency important Honor TeamMates model School events/activities

Money Boundary Your time is the most valuable thing you can “give” your mentee Avoid giving gifts Act as an advocate not an ATM

Self-Disclosure Boundary Relationship is youth centered not self centered Maintain adult-youth relationship

Parents/Families Boundary Be open to the uniqueness of every family Don’t try to “parent” the mentee You are a mentor to the youth not the family or siblings

Confidentiality/Non-Disclosure Acknowledgement Information about the following matters must be kept confidential: – Administrative and financial matters relating to TeamMates and about donors, mentors, mentees and their parents – Medical, mental health and academic information about mentees and their families Failure to keep information confidential can be considered as a cause for termination from the TeamMates Mentoring Program

Recognizing Child Abuse What is child abuse? – Any act or failure to act on the part of a parent, caretaker or other adult which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or – An act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm. How can I tell if a child has been abused? – Each child reacts differently – Be alert to changes in the child’s behavior

Types of Abuse Physical Abuse Emotional Abuse Sexual Abuse Neglect Hazardous Conditions

What should mentors do? If you suspect that a child is being abused… – Remain calm and non-judgmental – Reassure the child – Let the child know it is not his/her fault – Report the abuse

Confidentiality & Reporting It is the law that you report all cases of suspected abuse NE Hotline Number IA Hotline Number CA Hotline Number If your mentee reports abuse or illegal activity, contact your TeamMates Coordinator and make a report to the appropriate hotline number. For other issues, mentors and mentees can call the toll free Safety and Ethics Hotline number at

Building Trust Be fully present See mentee as a person and never a “project” Be consistent Be yourself Involve the mentee Listen and be empathetic Trust is the foundation of the mentoring relationship!

What to Do in Your Meeting? Ask your mentee! Play games Do a craft Physical activity UNLESS YOUTH LED: Avoid-focus on homework, goals, behavior change

Be a Strength-Based Mentor Be a mentor your mentee looks forward to seeing. You have something important to offer. Lead with your strengths! Express genuine caring to your mentee - honor expectations. Listen to whatever your mentee wants to talk about. Develop trust between you and your mentee. Practice “nexting” with your mentee – help them be excited about their future!

Thoughts? Questions?