Bullying and Cyber bullying What Parents Should Know Crystal Smith, Professional School Counselor Elmore Park Middle School

Definition Bullying is when someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself.

Definition Three components of bullying: R epeated I ntentional P ower Imbalance

Traditional Bullying

Differentiating Bullying from Normal Peer Conflict/Mean Behavior Normal conflict/mean behavior Equal power or are friends Happens occasionally Accidental Not serious Equal emotional reaction Not seeking power Remorse-will take responsibility Effort to solve the problem Bullying Imbalance of power Repeated negative actions Intentional Physical or emotional harm Unequal emotional reaction Seeking control/material things No remorse-blames target No effort to solve the problem 5

Bullying Today

Cyber bullying Similarities Repetition Intentional Power Imbalance

Cyber bullying Differences Anonymity- 50% of students reported they didn’t know who bullied them. Disinhibition– “You can’t see me I can’t see you.” Accessibility– 24/7 Punitive Fears- victims don’t report because fear having computer or phone/computer privileges taken away Bystanders- different for cyber bullying- don’t witness actual face to face confrontation.

How does a child get cyberbullied? Cell phone Text/Picture/Video Messages Phone Apps (Kik, Snapchat) Kik is a smartphone messenger system where users send videos and images instead of text. Snapchat allows users to send messages, primarily photos and videos that are deleted shortly after they are received. This service encourages teens to “capture the moment”. Internet Social Media Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Vine, Tumblr Video Games Game consoles with Internet access allows gamers to play with other gamers anywhere in the world. Online games (Minecraft) Friendly competition can quickly turn dangerous if the user is not careful. 9

Warning signs a child may be bullied Avoiding or fear of going to school Sudden failing grades Frequent health complaints- headaches, stomachaches Withdrawing or losing interest in activities with friends Feeling, sad, moody, anxious, depressed, withdrawn, helpless Unexplained injuries

Warning signs a child may be bullied Damaged or missing clothing or items Trouble sleeping- or frequent nightmares Changes in eating habits Avoiding or spending excessive time on computer Significant mood changes after using the computer

What can parents do? Talk with your child Cultivate and maintain open, candid communication Conversation starters “There have been a lot of news stories about people being bullied lately, do you know of people dealing with this?“ “Have you ever had any problems with people on the internet?” “Has anyone ever bothered or threatened you?” (

Internet Safety Tips for Parents Keep computer in a common room- NOT a child’s bedroom Establish rules for internet use - What sites can you visit - Who are your friends? - Who can they talk to? - How long can they be online? - When can they use the computer? Know your child’s passwords– “friend” your child on social networking sites (SNS) i.e. facebook, instagram, twitter

Parental Controls for Cell Phones Review your child’s text messages if you suspect something is going on. Use Parental Controls which can be set up through your cell phone provider. Restrict times of use Track the phone Block Internet Access A lot of students use their cell phones at night when parents are sleeping. If you suspect something, get your child’s phone at bedtime and keep it until morning.

What can parents do? Your child may not always talk…so observe and listen Offer to drive your child and their friends to events Observe their interactions with friends Volunteer at the school Attend school events Pay attention to changes

What to Do If you suspect your child is being bullied 1. Talk with your child If your child is being bullied, they need to have a voice in how the situation is handled. 2. Contact the school Set up a meeting with an administrator or counselor. 3. Follow up with your child as well as the school to insure that your child is safe. 16

Questions?

Resources _internet_and_wireless_safety.pdf _internet_and_wireless_safety.pdf