Marriage and the Family

Keywords Cohabitation = living together without being married Faithfulness = staying with your marriage partner and having sex only with them Pre-marital sex = sex before marriage Promiscuity = having sex with a number of partners without commitment Adultery = an act of sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than their marriage partner Annulment = a declaration by the Church that a marriage never lawfully existed Re-marriage = marrying again after being divorced from a previous marriage Nuclear family = mother, father and children living as a unit Re-constituted family = where two sets of children (step-brothers and sisters) become one family when their divorced parents marry each other Homosexuality = sexual attraction to the same sex Civil Partnership = a legal ceremony giving a homosexual couple the same legal rights as a husband and wife. Contraception = intentionally preventing pregnancy from occurring Procreation = making new life

Changing attitudes in the UK towards Cohabitation, Marriage, Divorce, Families and Homosexuality Marriage - Pre-marital sex was thought to be immoral and wrong and marriage was the only socially acceptable way to have a sexual relationship. Contraception was hard to obtain and sex before marriage could easily lead to pregnancy which was seen as wrong. Marriage is now much less popular than in the past with many couples choosing to live together. Reasons for change in attitudes – contraception is now easy to obtain. Society is also generally more relaxed about people have more than one sexual partner in their lifetime. Cohabitation – this is very popular today however in the past would have been disapproved because marriage was the only acceptable way for a couple to live together. Reasons for change in attitudes – cohabitation is seen as a way to lower the divorce rate as couples can try living together first. The Church is less important than before so marriage is not seen as a special promise in front of God. Contraception means that couples can enjoy a sexual relationship whilst cohabiting without having children. Divorce – more than 1 in 3 marriages is likely to end in divorce. Attitudes to divorce have changed so those who now divorce are no longer made to feel like failures by society. Reasons for change in attitudes – people now see life as too short to be stuck in a bad marriage. Rights for women mean they can divorce their husbands and be financially cared for.

Changing attitudes in the UK towards Cohabitation, Marriage, Divorce, Families and Homosexuality Family Life- in the past the nuclar famil was the norm. However with increases in divorce there are now many re-constituded families with step-brothers and sisiters all living together under on roof. Reasons for change in attitudes – attitudes to the traditional famil have changes and now peopl believe that what matters most is the those in the family are loved, it doesn’t matter who by. Homosexuality– before 1967 it was a criminal offence to be gay. In 2005 civil partnerships were started which gives gay couple the same rights as heterosexual couples. Reasons for change in attitudes – love is love!

Source of Authority explaining where this attitude comes from. Christian attitudes towards Pre-Marital Sex Church Attitude towards pre-marital sex Source of Authority explaining where this attitude comes from. Attitude to adultery and promiscuity  Roman Catholic & Methodist - Sex must take place exclusively in marriage. - Pre-marital sex is seen as adultery. - Therefore cohabitation is not an option. - “The sexual act must take place exclusively within marriage. Outside of marriage it always constitutes a grave sin.” Catechism of the Catholic Church - You shall not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14 Jesus said, “I tell you, anyone who looks at a woman and wants to possess her is guilty of committing adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 19:9 - God wants you to be holy and completely free from sexual immorality. Each of you men should know how to live with his wife in a holy and honourable way…” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 Not acceptable  Some Protestants Church of England - Prefer that sex is within marriage - However understand times have changed. - Prepared to accept cohabitation if it leads to marriage. - The leaders of the Church of England recognise family life has changed but regret that so many couples are cohabiting. Marriage is a gift of God in creation through which the husband and wife may know the grace of God. It is given that as man and woman grow together in love and trust….” Anglican Wedding Vows Liberal Christians e.g. Quakers - Accept that pre-marital sex takes place. - Main focus is to make sure this sex does not cause harm. Human sexuality is a divine gift, forming part of the complex union of body, mind and spirit which is our humanity. The sexual expression of a loving relationship can bring joy, delight and faithfulness. Quaker Faith & Practice, 22:11

The Purpose of Marriage Procreation men and women were created to have children Unity a loving partnership of living together Rearing children a way for nurture (looking after) and security Pattern for society a family unit of supporting each other jointly One flesh sexual intimacy as an expression of love Sacred a relationship blessed by God Endless a lifelong faithful partnership     

Main Features of a Christian Wedding Ceremony takes place in a Church in front of God. Vicar / priest introduces the PURPOSE of marriage and explains how important it is. Couple make vows to each other: I, N , take you, N , to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part; according to God's holy law. In the presence of God I make this vow Bible readings Prayers to ask for God’s blessing Couple will exchange rings as a sign of the marriage. The rings are round with no end hopefully like the marriage itself.

Biblical teachings on Marriage But amongst you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity. Ephesians 5:3   You shall not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14  At the beginning of creation God made humans ‘male and female’. Genesis 1 : 27 So God blessed man and woman and said to them: “Be fruitful and increase in number.” Genesis 1 : 28 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together let man not separate. Genesis 2: 24 Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy. Ephesians 5 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Colossians 3 But amongst you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity. Ephesians 5:3 You shall not commit adultery Exodus 20:14 At the beginning of creation God made humans ‘male and female’. Genesis 1 : 27 So God blessed man and woman and said to them: “Be fruitful and increase in number.” Genesis 1 : 28 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together let man not separate. Genesis 2: 24 Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy. Ephesians 5 Children, obey your parents in every thing, for this pleases the Lord Colossians 3 But amongst you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity. Ephesians 5:3 You shall not commit adultery Exodus 20:14 At the beginning of creation God made humans ‘male and female’. Genesis 1 : 27 So God blessed man and woman and said to them: “Be fruitful and increase in number.” Genesis 1 : 28 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together let man not separate. Genesis 2: 24 Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy. Ephesians 5 Children, obey your parents in every thing, for this pleases the Lord Colossians 3 But amongst you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality or any kind of impurity. Ephesians 5:3 You shall not commit adultery Exodus 20:14 At the beginning of creation God made humans ‘male and female’. Genesis 1 : 27 So God blessed man and woman and said to them: “Be fruitful and increase in number.” Genesis 1 : 28 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together let man not separate. Genesis 2: 24 Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy. Ephesians 5 Children, obey your parents in every thing, for this pleases the Lord Colossians 3

How has legislation and society changed towards divorce? Non-Religious attitudes towards Divorce Atheists believe that because it is legal, you can get a divorce freely They believe marriage is only by law, just a slip of paper- no eternal vows attached, therefore you can end it when you wish They also believe that you have one life, and shouldn’t make yourself miserable staying in a marriage that you do not enjoy How has legislation and society changed towards divorce? Societies attitudes have changed immensely towards divorce, this could be due to the fact that our society is becoming multi-faith, (including atheism) and is changing its laws to suit everyone in the country, as oppose to Christian based laws. Legislation 1857 – first men or women could obtain a divorce (female had to demonstrate adultery and one other offence had been committed.) 1923 – men and women had the same footing on divorce. 1969 – divorce only obtained if only one person wanted it although a 5 year ‘cooling off’ period was advised to sort out their differences.

Christian attitudes towards Divorce For Divorce in some circumstances e.g. Liberal Protestants: Its better than keeping someone in a miserable relationship, which would hardly be a loving, Christian act to do People should be given a second chance to go right where they previously went wrong People may have been abused in their previous marriage, and think divorce is the only way out God is all loving, and would understand why we allow divorce Golden Rule. Others claim Jesus allowed divorce in Matthew Ch19 v9 and that Christians are allowed forgiveness and a new chance for sins they confess to! Should have another chance at marriage as long as they are determined to make it work this time. Against Divorce e.g. Catholics Marriage is indissoluble, meaning that it can never be broken down as it was a serious promise made to God during the wedding vows. Jesus seemed to condemn divorce in Marks gospel, “Any man who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” When you married you showed you would show commitment, fidelity, love and sacrifice towards your married partner, you made an eternal vow

Christian attitudes towards Remarriage Catholic View: never acceptable unless the person has been widowed. Remarrying is like committing adultery as the promises you made to God in your first wedding can never be broken. Some Protestants View: divorce is generally accepted but the Church does not allow another religious marriage in church. Divorced couples may be allowed a blessing in Church. Church of England View: allow remarriage because they believe God forgives sins and allows people to make fresh starts. If a priest is not happy with this he can refuse to carry out the re-marriage. Annulment Catholics believe that you can get an annulment, an annulment is the declaration from the Church that a marriage never lawfully existed, because one or both of the couple did not mean their vow, they believe you can re-marry after an annulment Catholics believe that the only way a marriage can be dissolved is by death of one of the couple, “till death do us part”- because of this, you can re-marry if you’re partner dies

Family life It is pretty self-explanatory, family life is simply life in the family- there are different types of family Nuclear family- the ‘traditional’ view, mother, father and children Re-constituted family- 2 separate families joined together by marriage, for example, step-brothers and sisters Extended family- living with immediate family as well as aunties, uncles etc. Single parent family- children being brought up by a single parent

Why Christians believe that family life is important Christians believe that children should obey their parents, as they are instructed to in the fourth of the ten commandments, and parents should also treat their children fairly, as stated in St. Paul’s teachings Christians believe family life is important because you should have a set of morals, that you make your decisions by, and these morals will be enforced during your upbringing Having a family is an expected outcome of Christian marriage, shown in an openness to fertility

How Churches supports bringing up children Children are an important part of every family, including the family of Church. Christian churches offer many different things to support children. These include: Church schools Youth Clubs Mummy and baby groups Playgroup Family services in the church Sunday school Specialist help e.g. helping to care for a child with a disability

How Churches help families stay together Family is really important to Christians an it is improtant that families stay together and are happy. The church recognizes this is not always easy so they have different things that can support families going through difficult times. Christian churches offer many different things to support families. These include: Childcare and clubs to all parents time together Giving a break to family carers of a disables child Marriage and family counseling Short term accommodation if a family is homeless and migh be split up Marriage course before people get married Friends from church who support you and listen Advice and support

Morning After Pill (72 hour pill) Contraception Abstinence – No Sex! Morning After Pill (72 hour pill) The Pill Implant Sterilization The Cap Rhythm Method Condom

Christians and Contraception Church of England – sex between man and wife is a good thing. Family size is important so contraception is good as it makes sure families can control the size of their family.

Contraception Preventing conception from occurring naturally. Catholic View Contraception is not permitted as it prevents the act of sexual love being open to new life. A natural planning method e.g. the Rhythm Method is the only way acceptable. Preventing conception from occurring naturally. http://www.youtube.com/user/06clared#p/u/26/FDUM_Fe0GVw Video on Christian attitudes to contraception Church of England View All methods of contraception are allowed as the Church believes it is the most loving thing to do for a couple to choose when to have a family and the size of the family. It could cause pain if a couple had too many children and they couldn’t afford to care for them.