Conflict Resolution

What words that you associate with conflict? Similarities? Differences? Why? What do these words say about conflict? Positive or negative? Why? Do they reflect the way ppl tend to respond to conflict? Why is it important to learn and understand conflict?

1. What is conflict? A disagreement or struggle between two people A clash of opposing ideas

Who is the conflict with? Intrapersonal: conflict with self Interpersonal: conflict between individuals Intragroup: between members in a group Intergroup: between groups

2. Identify the 3 types of conflict. Situational conflict – conflict occurring in a functioning relationship because of a certain situation Personality conflict – conflict that occurs due to distinct personality differences Power struggle – conflict occurs because the people may be more concerned with winning the argument than with what they are fighting over Situational Splitting the bill at a restaurant 2 drivers arrive @ interception at the exact same moment 3 people want seats on the bus but there are only two Personality Differences in background/gender/political preferences/ethnic heritage/religious beliefs Power struggle

Get into groups of 2-3 students and, as a group, determine the 5 of the most common conflicts.

Examples of conflict in the world today Work in groups to search newspapers for examples of conflict As a group, use the worksheet to complete the analysis of your article Share a brief summary of your article and conflict analysis with the class

3. What is the action of directing another person’s behavior? control

4. Describe how conflicts can be resolved constructively. People have to want to resolve the conflict.

Worksheet: Constructive or Destructive? In constructive conflict, people work together to solve a problem. In destructive conflict, people attack each other not the problem.

4. What tactics are useful to resolving conflicts? Define the problem – put into words why you are upset, listen to why they are upset (don’t assume!) Set limits – discuss only the problem Negotiate – think of possible solutions Get outside help – person should not be involved in the conflict and should not take sides Follow up - make sure everyone agrees with the solution

Once in groups of 3, you will receive a set of papers. Shuffle the papers and place them face down on in the middle of the team You will have 2-3 minutes to turn over the pieces of paper one at a time to memorize the correct placement. You must turn it back over before turning over another piece. There can never be more than one number showing at a time. You may turn over each piece as many times as you wish. However, the paper must be placed back in the exact same position that it was when it was turned over.

How many numbers did you get correct? What strategy did your team decide to use? What would you do differently if you were to try this activity again? What happens when conflict arises when making a team decision? What are the benefits of having more than one person working on a problem? How can you avoid conflict when making a group decisions?

5. Name one factor that can influence children’s attitudes and behaviors as they grow older The media Interactions with other children Experiences at school

6. What are the advantages to bringing another person in to help solve a problem? 3rd person will be more objective Able to see both sides of disagreement clearly Will have ideas that other two may not have been able to see because of their positions Image you are in a conflict with a new student at school. Would it be ideal to ask your best friend, mom, or sibling to mediate the conflict?

7. Why is it important to set limits when resolving conflict? Limits are needed to get specific issue settled Otherwise people would Attack each other personally Bring up old issues Bringing up old issues will turn the discussion destructive, attacking the other person

8. What are some ways to avoid conflict? Walk away Do not let other irritate you Focus on the positive Change the subject Take a personal stand against physical conflict Do not be imitated into fighting Do not be provoked into fighting What tactics do you use to avoid conflict?

9. Explain the qualities that are shown when a person walks away from conflict. Self-confidence Pride in self Self-discipline Strength It says that the issue is not worth fighting over! Walking away is not a sign of weakness!

10. Identify interpersonal skills that are useful in dealing with conflict. Listening Showing empathy Seeking feedback Looking for clarification of mixed messages Using words to stay on task Using I-messages Showing emotional self-control Showing physical self-control Using teamwork Picking your time

11. How can interpersonal skills help solve conflict? Needed to figure out a solution to the problem that is causing the conflict: Accurate listening and speaking Skill in timing Using teamwork

12. List 5 communication skills that are important in resolving conflict. Listening Showing empathy Getting feedback Clarifying mixed messages Using I-messages

13. How can careful listening help you understand someone else’s point of view? If you stop and listen, you can understand what the person is trying to get across without letting your emotions get in the way Have you ever came into class upset about something? How much of what went on in class did you remember? Your own emotions can get in the way of good listening!

14. What is required when you want to better understand another person’s message clarification

15. Why is it important to avoid giving people the silent treatment? It creates negative nonverbal messages and builds barriers What’s the difference between remaining silent and giving the silent treatment? Silent: considering what they heard – silent treatment: unwillingness to acknowledge another persons' efforts at communication

16. 2 consequences of physical reactions during conflict Hurt feelings Hurt people Damaged or destroyed relationships More violence Unresolved conflict Common with which gender??

17. Healthy physical outlets to help release anger or frustration Sports Running Dancing Listening to music Clean your room If an appropriate outlet for emotions, such as exercise, is not chosen what may happen? Stress-related health issue

18. How can a competitive spirit sometimes be a barrier? Striving to win at someone else’s expense is contrary to negotiation and compromise In negotiation and compromise, people work together to find solutions. Can competition every be good? If so, when? Is there any competition among family or schoolmates? Does it involve you? Has competition ever led you to conflict?

19. 3 ways to show respect for others Use respectful language Have respectful attitude Work to understand other’s point of view

20. How can you show good timing when resolving a conflict Wait until all sides are in a proper frame of mind Wait until there is enough time to discuss the conflict The person you want to talk to is not distracted What are some advantages to designating a future time to resolve a conflict? Organize thoughts and feelings When is the worst time for someone to approach you about a conflict?

21. How can people be respectful to others during conflicts? Use self-control Show understanding Use respectful language Have a respectful attitude

22. Explain how you can set a positive example of conflict resolution Head off conflict when possible Commit to solving conflicts constructively and nonviolently

23. Why is setting a good example important in conflict situations? You act as a role model You may be able to avoid or prevent the conflict

24. What factors could cause a small disagreement to become a large conflict? Lack of empathy Not listening Not showing respect Dispute become a power struggle