CHAPTER 5: COMMUNICATION Kilgore

 Action  Active  Barriers  Blaming  Body language  Checking out  Communication  Compromise WORD BANK  Learned  Mixed  Negotiation  Non verbal  Ownership  Passive  Placating  Prejudice  Receiver  Conflict  Descriptive  Distracting  Feeling  Frown  Gestures  I statements  Identify  Intention  Reflecting  Relaxed  Resolution  Self awareness  Sender  Shared  Thought  Verbal  You statements

WARM-UP  Are you an ACTIVE or PASSIVE listener? Explain why.  Which would your parents describe you as? Explain why it may be different.

WARM-UP You are a nurse. The patient you are working with is ungrateful, rude, is always finding fault in everything you do, and makes your life miserable.  How will you proactively respond to this situation?  One born every minute... One born every minute...

WARM-UP  “No one cares to speak to an unwilling listener. “  How do you do rate with your listening and talking? What do you need to improve?

WARM-UP  At Sunday’s Super Bowl, 800 fans were left without seats. The NFL has offered a refund of 3x the face value of these tickets.  Do you think they handled this well?  How would you resolve this conflict if you were in charge?

 “ An arrow never lodges in stone: often it recoils upon the sender of it.”  What does this mean?  How can you listen more effectively?  Ferris Bueller Ferris Bueller WARM-UP

COMMUNICATION  Communication= an exchange of information between two or more people.  Two way process that includes sending and receiving messages.  Communicating a clear message is not always easy!  Poor communication can cause a serious misunderstanding.  May give the wrong impression.  Speaking, listening, reading, and writing are all forms of communication.

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TYPES OF COMMUNICATION  Nonverbal communication= a way of sending and receiving messages without using words.  Includes body movements such as facial expressions, eye contact, and gestures.  Hugging, holding hands, physically close, eye contact, body language, etc.  Verbal communication= the use of words to send and receive messages.  Sharing one’s feelings, listening, heart-to-heart talks, caring words.  Speaking and writing are forms of verbal communication.  Communication skills can be learned. As a child, you learned to communicate by imitating sounds.

NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION  At home, you often know when family members are feeling happy, sad or angry without a word being spoken.  Nonverbal communication helps you understand emotions.  Be aware of the nonverbal messages you send!

PROXIMITY  Can indicate interest & attention.  Where we sit (proximity) indicates levels of intimacy.  Moving away indicates desire to terminate conversation.  Moving closer usually one exchanges cues to avoid chance of rejection.  Cultures differ in degree of acceptable closeness.

BODY LANGUAGE  Body language involves sending messages through body movements.  Facial expressions, gestures, and body motions are examples of these.  Body language can communicate different messages to people of different cultures or backgrounds.  Non verbal messages can also reinforce or contradict what you say.

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS  Eye contact is an important part of your facial expressions.  Direct eye contact helps convey a message that you care and are interested in what someone has to say.  Looking away when someone talks communicates that you are not interested.

GESTURES & MOTIONS  Gestures may help emphasize spoken words so that others understand the meaning.  The way you sit, stand, or walk while communicating also sends a message.  Crossing your arms sets up a barrier to communication.  Good posture shows confidence.  A warm hug communicates affection!

 Disclose less personal info  Safer topics like sports or work.  More profanity & harsh words.  More dominating of conversation.  Traditional roles inhibit communication.  Smile more, more emotional, claim less space, more eye contact.  Wives send clearer messages to husbands, are more sensitive & responsive, husbands may not reply at all or withdraw.  Usually wives want change & husbands withdraw with the most to gain by doing so.  Women set the emotional tone in a family. GENDER DIFFERENCES IN COMMUNICATION Men Women

ACTIVE VS. PASSIVE LISTENING  Passive= hearing words without actually listening.  Active= sending a signal that you are listening such as nodding or verbally responding.  Checking out= using questions to clarify a message. Ex. “Where did you say this happened?”  Reflecting=repeating in your own words what has been said. Ex. “What your saying is…”

“I” MESSAGES  I messages are used during those difficult times when you must assert yourself and confront someone about his/her unacceptable behavior so that a solution to the problem can be negotiated.  I messages communicate the problem.  I feel…when…because.

“I” MESSAGES ALLOW YOU TO…  Confront people in a positive way.  Be open, honest, and straightforward about a person’s unacceptable behavior.  Avoid putting people on the defensive.  Appeal for help in solving the problem.  Communicate ownership of the problem.

“YOU” MESSAGES  YOU MESSAGES are totally ineffective because they contain language that sounds abrasive, judgmental, condescending, or injurious to the self-esteem of the person confronted.

“YOU” MESSAGES ARE NEVER WELL RECEIVED BECAUSE…  They make people feel guilty  They can be interpreted as blame, put downs, criticism and rejections.  They communicate a lack of respect for others.  They often cause reactive or retaliatory behavior.  They damage the recipients self-esteem.  They cause resistance rather the openness to change.  They can make a person fell hurt, the resentful.  They are often perceived as punitive.

POSITIVE COMMUNICATION PATTERNS  Stroking= using positive and encouraging comments.  Using praise can create a positive climate!

NEGATIVE COMMUNICATION PATTERNS  Blaming= a pattern in which people accuse others for everything that goes wrong.  Placating= a pattern of communication in which people will say or do something just to please others or keep them from getting upset.  Distracting= another poor communication pattern in which people just ignore unpleasant situations.

SELF-ESTEEM  People with a high self-esteem are more confident at communicating their message.  People with low self-esteem may have more problems communicating effectively.  When sending messages, a person with low self-esteem may fear that others will reject their ideas. May be afraid to let others know what they really think and feel.

EMOTIONAL STATE  When emotions are intense, both messages and strong personal feelings are being communicated.  If you are angry or upset, your words may not mean exactly what you feel.  Your communication will not be clear!  Take time to calm down before you communicate the wrong message.

COMMUNICATION BARRIERS The most common barriers to good communication are: Closed minds= shut out or ignore opinions that are different. Mixed messages= not saying what you really mean. Prejudice= forming opinions without complete knowledge. Poor listening skills= distracted listener.

SKILLS FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION  Conflict= when two people disagree.  Conflict resolution= skills that help you resolve a problem.  Steps to resolve a conflict: Identify the problem. Identify who owns the problem. Accept ownership. Solve the problem.

NEGOTIATION AND COMPROMISE  Negotiation= when people alternate between sending and receiving messages in order to reach an agreeable solution.  Compromise= a five and take method that allows both people to express themselves.  No one person wins or loses.  Both give in a little to reach a solution.