The Difference that Dads Make A Tour of the Relevant Social Science W. Bradford Wilcox University of Virginia

Who is Missing from this Picture?

The Maternal Universal The tie between mother and child is so universal, so powerful, so primal that we often lose sight of the father Journalistic & academic treatments of family life often overlook fathers Public policies targeting families often focus on single mothers and their children

But We Are Learning Dads Matter for Kids Mothers and Fathers bring distinctive talents to the parenting enterprise. Two caveats: 1) Not every mother or father possesses all of the distinctive sex-specific talents this talk covers 2) Most talents are possessed by each parent, even though one sex tends to have more of a particular talent

Mothers’ Talents Breastfeeding Understanding children Communicating with children Nurturing children Moms’ strengths are linked to Nurture - Cultural factors (e.g., socialization) Nature - Biological factors (e.g., oxytocin)

Fathers’ Talents Providing Discipline Play Challenging children Loving Mom

Providership Fathers excel in providing Only 1 stay-at-home dads for 100 stay-at-home mothers After kids arrive, dads work more hours, wives work less More than 2/3rds of family income typically comes from Dad Biological basis? Men have markedly higher levels of testosterone Testosterone is associated with more aggression, dominance  strong work orientation

Discipline Fathers excel in disciplining children Strength, size, voice telegraph toughness More assertive, less willing to bend rules than mothers Especially effective with teenage boys Biological basis? Testosterone associated with male size, strength, voice, & dominance

Play Fathers excel in physical play More inclined to engage in rough play More likely to surprise or excite children Children more likely to be stimulated by father & to learn how to deal with aggression from father Biological basis? Testosterone is associated with energy level, strength, physical activity

Challenging their Kids Fathers excel in pushing their children to embrace challenges, difficulties, outside world Encourage kids to engage in novel activities & be independent More likely to introduce children to worlds of work, sports, civil society/politics Boys & girls who have active, engaged dads attain more, more self-confident Biological basis? Testosterone is associated with a singular focus, goal orientation

Loving Mom One of most important influences Dad can have on kids is indirect Loving Mom Moms who are happily married are More involved, nurturing, better at monitoring Dads who treat mom with respect & affection More likely to teach boys to deal with girls/women in a respectful manner More likely to teach girls to expect to be treated well by boys/men in their life

Child Outcomes Children who grow up with an affectionate, involved, and authoritative father turn out better The literature on fatherless households is particularly powerful in this regard

Boys Boys without fathers are less likely to be disciplined & monitored Boys without fathers are more likely to fall prey to “compensatory masculinity” Boys without fathers are significantly more likely to be delinquent, violent, & end up in prison Boys are 2-3 times more likely to end up in prison in their early 30s if they grow up apart from their dads Fatherless households “one of the strongest” predictors of urban violence

Girls Girls without fathers are more likely to seek out inappropriate attention from boys Girls without fathers are significantly more likely to be sexually active and become pregnant as teenagers One study of U.S. teens found: 35% of girls whose dads left before 6 became pregnant 10% of girls whose dads left between 6-18 got pregnant 5% of girls whose dads never left became pregnant

Conclusions Best psychological, sociological, & biological evidence suggests that men & women bring somewhat different talents to the parenting enterprise We ought to organize parenting to best take advantage of the difference that dads make Dads need to keep work demands in check Moms need to give Dads space to parent

Conclusions continued We need to recognize and honor the distinctive gifts that Dads bring to the parenting enterprise We need to help divorced dads stay connected to their children We should strengthen marriage to ensure that children have the benefit of being raised by a mother and a father