Anger Management Skills

Does everybody experience anger?  Everybody gets angry. That is okay. You’re going to feel how you feel. BUT: how you act is up to you. And that matters, because how you act leads to consequences.

Objectives:  1. Identify your anger triggers  2. Know your anger cues  3. Know your anger style  4. Deal with your anger effectively

TRIGGERS What bugs you?  Something that happens that makes you angry  What triggers you does not always trigger someone else.

1. You have the highest average on social studies tests, but when report cards are handed out, the teacher gives someone else a higher grade than you because he participates in class more than you do. a.not at all angry b.somewhat angry c.very angry

2. Your brother bumps your arm while you reach for something at the dinner table, and you knock over a pitcher. The pitcher breaks and you get blamed. a.not at all angry b.somewhat angry c.very angry

3. Your best friend has a secret that she tells to two other friends but not to you. a.not at all angry b.somewhat angry c.very angry

4. A classmate spills juice on your homework and the teacher says it’s too sloppy to hand in. a.not at all angry b.somewhat angry c.very angry

5. One of your friends is so bossy that she insists on telling you who to invite to your birthday party. a.not at all angry b.somewhat angry c.very angry

6. A kid in the park insults your best friend. a.not at all angry b.somewhat angry c.very angry

7. Someone in your class spreads a rumor about you. a.not at all angry b.somewhat angry c.very angry

8. Your older sister keeps interrupting you when you’re trying to tell your mom something. a.not at all angry b.somewhat angry c.very angry

9. You tell a friend a secret and then learn he has told it to others. a.not at all angry b.somewhat angry c.very angry

10. You let your brother borrow your new digital watch, and the next day he doesn’t let you use his video game. a.not at all angry b.somewhat angry c.very angry

11. At the pizza place, you have to wait ten minutes before your order is taken because the man behind the counter has served two people who came in after you. a.not at all angry b.somewhat angry c.very angry

12. You’re crossing the street and a car honks at you as if you’ve done something wrong, but you have the right of way. a.not at all angry b.somewhat angry c.very angry

MAKE A LIST  If you know your anger triggers, then you can either:  1. Try to avoid them  2. Learn how to deal with them.

ANGER CUES  Your body sends you signals, when you’re getting angry. Clenched fist Loud voice Sweat Red face Racing & pounding heartbeat Upset stomach

Complete the Checklist  What are your anger cues?

What’s your anger style?  When your anger is triggered, you’re going to react in some way. The way you react is called your ANGER STYLE. Acting Out Dumping Burying

ACTING OUT  Easiest to recognize  It’s when you strike out at the person you are mad at: physically or verbally.  YOU’RE OUT OF CONTROL!!!!

Consequences  You get in trouble  Problem is not solved

DUMPING DISPLACED ANGER  Shifting your feelings to someone you feel it’s safe to be mad at.  Ex. Guy gets mad at his boss, comes home & yells at his wife, who yells at the kids, who kick the dog!!

Consequences  You hurt innocent people  Problem is not solved

BURYING ( ignoring ) BURYING ( ignoring )  When you hold your anger down inside yourself because you think it isn’t nice to have those feelings.  Denying your angry isn’t dealing with it.  It can come out in other ways: headaches, stomachaches, anxious, depressed  One day you might explode!!

Consequences  You hurt yourself  You may hurt others when you EXPLODE  Problem is not solved

DEALING WITH ANGER  When you find yourself angry, REMEMBER the only behavior you can manage is YOUR own!!!  So, pay attention to your anger cues.  And, if you feel like you’re going to lose it…

Get a grip!!!  1. Cool off, stay calm.  Walk away  Count to 10  Take deep breaths  Use calming self-talk: “I can handle this. Chill. It’s not as bad as it seems.”  Imagine you are in a peaceful place.

 2. Give yourself some time to sort things out.  Write the problem down on paper.  Think it through. Ask yourself: what really happened? How was I triggered? What were my cues.  Talk it over with a friend or adult you trust.

 3. Turn your angry energy into a change for the better.   Tell the person making you angry how you feel.   Channel your angry energy into a physical activity.   Try to solve the problem.   Try to accept situations you can’t change.

EVERYBODY GETS ANGRY  That’s just how it is.  The difference comes in what you do about it. SO: GET A GRIP!!!