Interdependence

Social Exchange  Premise: We seek interactions with others that provide maximum reward at minimum cost and we only stay with those who provide sufficient profit.  People want the best possible outcome  Interdependence Theory (Thibaut & Kelley)

Social Exchange: Rewards & Costs  Rewards- anything within an interaction that is desirable and welcome and that brings enjoyment or fulfillment to the recipient  Costs- punishing, undesirable experiences  Outcome- describes the net profit or loss a person encounters, all things considered  Outcome=Rewards-Costs

What Do We Expect From Our Relationships?  What Do We Expect from Our Relationships Comparison level (CL)- the value of the outcomes that we believe we deserve in our dealings with others Based on past experience People with past rewarding relationships are likely to have high CLs or expect more in current relatioships Our CLs are the standards by which our satisfaction in a relationship is measure

What Do We Expect From Our Relationships? What Do We Expect from Our Relationships II. Happiness will depend on the extent to which outcomes surpass your expectations Outcomes > CL = happy Outcomes < CL= unhappy Or Outcomes-CL=Satisfaction/Dissatisfaction

How Well Could We Do Elsewhere?  Satisfaction is not the only factor that determines how long a relationship lasts Comparison Level for Alternatives (Cl alt ) The outcome we could receive by leaving our current relationship and moving to the best alternative partnership or situation we have available Cl alt = lowest level of outcome we will tolerate from our present partner Cl alt determines our relationship dependence

How Well Could We Do Elsewhere?  Cl alt can be considered a global outcome thus if a person can be happy and yet end the relationship if the Cl alt is better.  Cl alt is what a person thinks it is (perception of self- worth or other situation are their reality)  Your situation may not provide alternatives  Spouses who divorce are usually unhappy for a long time prior to the divorce. They finally do so when new and better alternatives come along.

Four Types of Relationships

CL and Cl alt as Time Goes By  If perfect relationship then CL goes up and you now expect more yet your outcomes remain the same Take it for granted  American Culture Provides a High CL  Women’s rights has increased Cl alt Now more unhappy and unstable relationships

Economies of Relationships  On any given day 44% are likely to be annoyed by a lover or friend  Intimacy and Interdependence often give people permission to be impolite instead of courteous and considerate  Bad is Stronger Than Good Rewards-to-Cost ration of at least 5-to-1 (Gotman)  Love Languages

Average Marriage Trajectory

Rewards and Costs as Time Goes By